Tom Time

The Nap

2006-12-05T21:09:00.000-05:00

Because the question has been raised, I expect to be taking a sabbatical from the blog. It's worked pretty well for youth ministry, with me growing and seeing the whole world differently.

right now it makes to most sense to focus on some private journaling and personal growth. As with youth ministry, I'll re-evaluate this decision in a few months. For now though Tom Time will be taking a nap.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Heat

2006-11-25T21:46:00.000-05:00

I've been playing a game called Evil Genius on and off for the past couple of years (mostly off). It's a humorous game where you are an evil genius, making a secret island and wreaking havoc while spies like 007 try to infiltrate and sabotage everything you do. Through everything you do there is a notoriety meter with each act of villainy you perform adding "heat" and making you more notorious. Right now I believe I'm vomitous.

In the real world it appears that my own heat level has recently picked up a bit. I don't know which posts are really doing it, but lately my own heat level has apparently spiked. This doesn't end up being such a good thing in the real world like it is in the virtual one.

As with anything that's written down, it can easily be misunderstood or taken out of context. This can lead to questions arising due to the integrity of the writer.

It is an interesting revelation that an individual's integrity is always up for re-evaluation, no matter how long you have known that person. There will be times at church where I may wonder about someone's motives even after I've known them for 4 years or more. Even friendships and family can fall into this trap. I wonder if we really can ever be trusted completely. I sure hope not everyone is looking to question the integrity of everyone else; it's a hard life not trusting others.

In Evil Genius if you want to lower your heat level you stop doing things that will get noticed.

Recently I've begun to follow this plan of action. The questions weigh too importantly on my life to let them continue. It's too hard to write for multiple audiences and assume it will not be misinterpreted. Even with an editor, I know how misunderstandings have occurred.

Here's my question to you all. Do you really appreciate what's been written in this blog? Would you like to read more, or would your life be unchanged if I stopped writing?

I ask for feedback other times but I would really, really appreciate you feedback this time.

Peace,
+Tom

The Beauty of the Internet

2006-11-20T22:42:00.000-05:00

Days like this really make me really appreciate the power of the Internet. I had some late night printouts to make at work after putting my daughter to bed. Once I finished up the work I was able to print directly to our printers in the office. As I drove on in the printers were spitting everything out for my meeting. After a bit of photocopying I was all set.

10 years ago this would have actually meant I had to drive into the office to do the work and get the printouts.

Sometimes it amazes me to recognize that the Internet has a lot of power far above and beyond simply shopping and research.

I wonder what else is out there in the world that can be used for some other purpose than it was designed.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Comfort Food

2006-11-20T22:30:00.000-05:00

Today began decently and ended up quite crappy. It's kind of amazing how one conversation and change the day.

So it only made sense that tonight should be a night of comfort food. Something to just curl up with and relax. I hadn't realized it until tonight (it's been a long time since I've really had a crappy day) but apparently my comfort food is an almond steamer (steamed milk with an almond shot). It'll warm you from head to toe on a cold night and loosen up a tight heart.

How about you? What do you indulge in on those days that just fall to pieces?

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

The Importance of Foreign Language

2006-11-17T12:05:00.000-05:00

It has taken me 31 years to finally understand why learning a foreign language in school is important. Yes, my 10 years of Spanish should have made it so I can talk intelligently to my Spanish speaking neighbors, but unfortunately, that's not the case. Today Erin showed me the true importance of learning a language.

She has been looking for help using Crystal Reports as it integrates with Microsoft Visual Studio. Every time she would go to the help it would have an error that the page was not found.

What's her solution (something I would never have thought of)? Try the French version which she learned in school. Sure enough, it worked (thankfully the code snippets are in English)!

The next time someone asks me why the heck they need to take Spanish/French/German/Japanese/Russian etc. I now have an answer. Study that language long and hard, you never know when the help you need is only available in your second language.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Virginia Theological Seminary Visit

2006-11-14T22:12:00.000-05:00

Today I went on a tour of Virginia Theological Seminary. I tell you, this school has it together. The program is so centered around the student, community and a close-knit with faculty that it’s almost impossible to fail. I think a lot about community and ho incredibly important it is in spiritual formation and acceptance. While I am so committed to community I also think it’s hard to find a way to couple a “fun community” with a deep relationship and solid learning. Moving from simply joining in to actually taking part and giving back. VTS seems to really have that together.

Even the day visit was really well planned and executed. We each had one tour guide (I ended up with two actually). The morning prayer, class selections, small group organization and lunch (yes, even lunch) was all executed superbly. I have never been on a better college visit and, if I could go right now, I'd be a VTS student.

As a side note. At lunch I met a priest from Liverpool England who was doing a 4 week tour of different places to help support the Episcopal church and to see how others are accomplishing mission. Colin was a really great and interesting person. I am so blessed to have been able to share lunch with him, to the point where I was late to my next session. It was entirely worth it and I do hope God calls Colin to become the arch-deacon in Wales and really gets to fulfill his dream of leading people in life-changing missions. He's certainly in my prayers.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Focusing on Failure

2006-11-09T13:57:00.000-05:00

Last week we had a mid-term in my Old Testament class which I was positive I got 4 questions wrong and possibly as many as 7. On a 50 question test that's a pretty big deal. What's interesting is that over the week since that test all I can think about are those questions I know I missed. I sure will never forget what the Decalogue is (10 commandments).

While I've been focusing on these questions I got wrong (the last third of the Old Testament is called the Writings btw) I've pretty much ignored and forgotten the questions I answered correctly. Who was Adam again? He really had a wife named Eve? Okay, not that badly.

Recognizing this last night in class made me realize that I, and many people, are driven and expected to constantly improve. It's not enough to do well at something since you can always be doing better.

I've always considered improvement being the recognition and correction of failings. For example, every time I jump off the roof of our house I fall straight down and hurt myself. To improve I need to recognize this failing and better learn how to fly (or recognize that I can't fly on my own and should seek mental help - too bad I'm not Peter Petrelli from Heroes).

The problem with focusing on failure is that I tend to let that bring me down. I see how I may have messed up one section of a project, and really let that envelop me. I try to do everything I can to fix it immediately and to never let it happen again. I begin thinking I'm not really so great at this and could even feel like I don't belong. In reality it was one mistake that most people didn't even notice, and they have been impressed with all of the work I have done.

Here is one place I really struggle to make a balance. It's easy to let my failings get the better of me. It's also easy for me to focus on how good I am at some things and let pride take over.

In any case I got the mid-term back with a 48 out of 50. Also, that two page report I did two weeks ago. The one I forgot about until the night before and got the books the morning it was due? 30 out of 30! Thank goodness. Maybe I can write.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Credit card debt

2006-11-07T11:33:00.000-05:00

Here is why Americans are in debt. I decided to take the plunge and get a Shell MasterCard. Yes, the ads did me in, saving 10 cents minimum per gallon of gas, and with Shell being consistently cheaper than most places near me (including Costco) got me to take the plunge.

Before you go making any comments, yes, I am able to pay it off before we even get the bill.

In any case, I'm waiting for the cards, wondering if I was even approved. Then they show up and those fools have given me a $12,000 limit.

Seriously, anyone who knows me knows that I'm sure not rich. What would possess a company to offer so much money to any individual whose only knowledge of a person is their mortgage, credit rating and annual salary?

I can see so many people get into serious trouble this way. Right now I'm helping others get out of some deep debt, and I was wondering how it was even possible. Now I know.

It doesn't take much to decide that the $100 could be paid off this month, but may as well wait until next month...

I think it's time to call and lower that limit a bit.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

NaNoWriMo

2006-11-03T21:23:00.000-05:00

In case you haven't heard about it, there is a big writing event going on this November called NaNoWriMo. The whole point is to write a Novel in one month. I keyed Christine and Kate into it, and I think they're actually giving it a try. Unfortunately, I am far to uncreative too write a novel in one month, I don't even know what I'd be about.

BUT. Christine had an away message that said

DON'T TALK TO ME UNLESS YOU HAVE A COOL STORY! :D

Therefore, I decided to put together a GOOD STORY in 10 seconds or less. For fun, here's what I came up with.

Once, when I was younger, I decided that it would be fun to see the world. I first thought, maybe I could fly around the globe. So I went and to my pilot's license. Unfortunately I couldn't afford to keep the license and I couldn't afford the plain, so that plan went astray. Then I considered riding in a space shuttle and seeing everything in and outside the world. So I went to space camp and applied to be a pilot. Nevertheless, I couldn't keep all of the controls in my mind and my eyesight getting worse kept me from that solution. Then I tried to travel. I visited Spain, London and Scotland. But I can't afford to keep that life up and prefer to stay near my family. So now I frequent sushi restaurants, Thai restaurants and other ethnic foods in the hope that I can taste their culture in some small way.

By the way, everything in here is false besides the fact that I want to see the world.

This was fun though, maybe I can write a novel. How about you all, what story can you come up with in 10 minutes or lest (call it the opposite of NaNoWriMo).

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Communicating Vision

2006-11-02T14:46:00.000-05:00

I was just reading Teresa's post on Tony's blog on finding out what people are really looking for in a visit to a church. The main thing that struck me (besides that they have a full time paid staff person in charge of getting people involved after Sunday morning) is the visitor's question about where the money and time goes. This question wouldn't come up if someone really understood, even before they walked onto your campus/through your door, what you were all about.

People don't get why they should be investing their time and money in church. They don't understand why they'd invest in your company either. They need to see exactly why your company/church/friendship will make a difference in the world and how their participation will help make that real.

Why should I buy a Robek's smoothie or shop at ColdStone? Why should I go to St. Matthew's over St. David's (besides it being hard to find St. David's Web site)? Why would I be friends with Bill, who seems aimless, when I can be friends with Bob who has a clear vision and plan that I understand and support?

Communicating vision has got to be one of the most important things we do. The organization (or ourselves) needs to identify, understand, communicate and live that vision.

What's my vision? Honestly, I'm still working on it and it changes all the time. Right now my vision is to:

Impact lives by helping people feel accepted, comfortable and loved and to make my family feel as though I spend too much time with and energy on them. I want people to see the benefit of serving God through my own actions.

So, do I really live that vision? Do people hear about that vision even before they meet me? Does it mesh with the church/store/friends that I surround myself with? As a church, do people know that our focus is to get every individual learning and talking about God to their friends and strangers?

I'm really thinking that this whole vision thing is one of the most important items to execute. Once we have that, it's easy to focus on making things happen.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Midterm

2006-11-01T23:04:00.000-05:00

Here's what I've learned from taking my first midterm in 10 years:

1) Listen to the teacher. She said use the CD and I did. 80% - 90% of the test came almost directly from that CD.

2) I am more aware of what I know I got wrong and what I did right.

3) After 10 years I still take tests blazingly fast (I was 10 minutes late and the second to finish). But that never means I was right.

4) I finally figured out how to study key terms. Instead of memorizing the term, memorize the definition and match it to the term. The term takes on it's own life and has it's own hooks to stay relevant in my mind.

5) It's not as stressful when you've had some real conversations with the professor and understand their reason for teaching the class.

6) 1/2 of what I study will not be on the test... Darnit!

7) Theophany - The manifestation of God on earth.

In the end I know I got 4 questions wrong, I think I got 5 or 6 wrong, so I'm expecting to have gotten 7 or 8 wrong. Out of 50 that's not so good, but a solid B isn't bad either.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Feeding the 5,000

2006-10-31T13:07:00.000-05:00

Ok, so most people have heard the miracle Jesus performed by feeding 5,000 with just 5 loaves of bread and two fish (John 6). I've always found this amazing, especially since, in the end they still had leftovers after each person had eaten their fill.

Today I was reading something which talked about how, for $6 you can get 21 loaves of bread from the day-old store. Finally it hit me! I know how we can reproduce Jesus' miracle.

We'll take 5 fresh loaves of bread and bring them to some bakery. We'll turn them in for day-old bread. I figure one loaf of bread should be worth about 50 loaves of day-old, right? Then there's the fish. No one really needs fresh fish. I bet you can trade in two excellent fresh fish for boxes and boxes of frozen fish sticks (or even fish just past the expiration date). With all of that we can feed 5,000 people, no problem. So I ask you... Was it really a miracle? I bet Jesus just sent James and John off to the day-old fish and bread store.

Seriously though, this did get me to thinking. Jesus made very clear that we would perform all the miracles he has done and more. We do that by working together to really help others.

As I thought about this ridiculous joke above, I did think about the Atlanta Bread Company and Panera. Both companies give away day-old bread. My friend Linda from church goes each Sunday and fills her car with bags and bags of bread which she brings to the local soup kitchen. Here you have a company working with individuals to make a serious impact on hunger in our local community. All for the cost of gas to drive the bread (probably cheaper than 5 loaves and 2 fish would cost).

If that's not a miracle, I don't know what is.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Forgive

2006-10-27T22:12:00.000-04:00

I've been walking through the gospel of John (Message Remix version) in my journal. something jumped out at me and I decided to post an abridged version.

When Jesus came back to visit the disciples in John 20.22-23 one of the first things he said was

If you forgive someone’s sins, they’re gone for good. If you don’t forgive someone’s sins, what are you going to do with them?

If you took just the first sentence, it sounds like by being a disciple you can forgive someone’s sin just as God does. I think that second sentence really makes the difference. If we aren’t willing to forgive someone’s sin, what are we going to do with them?

We need to forgive the sings of everyone, no matter how hard it may be. While this gives me hope for some of the stuff I’ve messed up in life, it also makes me nervous. Do I really forgive someone whose maliciously hurt me or someone I care about? Thankfully, at the moment I can’t really think of many people this may apply to. That doesn’t mean it won’t ever apply.

Really though, what do we do with people we don’t forgive. What’s the alternative to forgiveness? Stay estranged from the person? Be cordial to them while inside I can only think about how much the wrong they did to me bothers me? Why do I want to live like that? I don’t think Jesus would approve.

Anyway, I thought this was pretty interesting. While it is Jesus and Gods gifts to forgive everyone, it’s also our job to do the same. That’s pretty hard sometimes.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

The Church You Know

2006-10-26T11:06:00.000-04:00

I love those NBC "The More You Know" ads where they have famous people get on the TV and say things to help the family.

Reading to your child lets them dive into another world with you. So, read to your child

Ok, I don't know if that's really one of them. But I've been thinking about reading since we read to Rachel all the time and since I read Michael's blog entry on warfare.

The ChurchMarketingSucks Web site had a post about The Church You Know. They have these short spots just like the NBC ads, but about church, and crazy funny. The two I'd definitely recommend seeing is the Attendance video and the Tithing video.

I don't know if they'd ever be appropriate to show in church, but man they are great. I'm definitely thinking of getting the Christ is the head... I am the Rectum shirt for someone.

Boiling this all down brings me to one big thought for the day. Being Christian and talking about faith should never be boring. These guys have made it interesting and fun.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

More Brochures?

2006-10-25T11:20:00.000-04:00

Seth Godin remarked recently about marketing cliches done wrong. This one particularly stuck out as the one which impacts our organization and our church the most.

We need a bigger marketing department. Probably, you need everyone in the organization to do the marketing... from scratch. More brochures aren't the answer.

At church we've been talking a lot about marketing, what to put together that we can give people when they walk in the door. Whether we should advertise in the paper, in new home guides or somewhere else. Should we advertise each sermon series? How would the ads be designed.

I still think all of these are important and need to have some focus.

At the same time Seth's comment has reminded me again that spreading the word about your product is about the stories people are saying.

A co-worker of mine almost went to Wegmans the other day because she was in the area. I guarantee you that two weeks ago she never would have considered it. One day though we had a team meeting of about 10 people to do introductions. After I mentioned Wegmans the entire room became animated and shared their experiences with the store. Those stories (plus my constant talk about it) has at lease one person thinking about the place and stopping in.

Stores market to people. The story is told by someone that the listener trusts.

What is it about your life that's worth telling? What are your stories? What do you support so much that they don't need to make a brochure or place an ad to get people to come?

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Smoked Salmon

2006-10-25T10:38:00.000-04:00

In case I wasn't sure about it, I definitely am now. My wife is pregnant.

The switch just clicked in my head.

No, it wasn't from hearing the baby's heartbeat yesterday at the doctor's office (though that was pretty incredible and affected me more yesterday than it did with Rachel for some reason).

No, it wasn't that we've moved Rachel's crib into the new baby's room.

What did it? I've just realized I have a craving for some smoked salmon (no thanks to Melissa sending some to Rob so we've talked about it).

While my wife goes through a pregnancy with little or no cravings, mine kick into gear almost immediately. So far it's looking like a couple months of smoothies and salmon.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Battlestar Galactica

2006-10-22T08:05:00.000-04:00

I've just gotten through the 3rd episode of Battlestar Galactica Season 3. When the new Battlestar began I watched, but it was just so different from the original I wasn't sure I'd click with it. It just seems that for some reason Sci-Fi has a whole lot of dark stuff, and this was no different. On top of that a female Starbuck was just weird.

Over time I've figured out that I am really connecting with the characters. I really care about them and their plight. This season really made this click in my mind, as I watched a really, really moving interpretation of the Holocaust.

I spent almost 6 hours in the Holocaust Museum in DC, and it really got me to think hard about what happened. That coupled with a History Channel documentary I saw a few years ago and an exhibit at American Visionary Art Museum in Baltimore has made it stick in my mind. I can't look at snow quite the same way again.

Somehow all of that information moved me intellectually but I could never connect or completely understand what individuals went through. No two hour movie or factual documentary really got me to care deep down about the individuals and what it meant for the family.

Battlestar has made that connection.

Seeing the individuals that I've followed for three years go through the atrocities people have suffered has really got me thinking about what's happened in our past, what's happened in Rwanda, and what will happen to individuals under the oppressive rule of an extreme leader.

Say what you will about TV or even Science Fiction. It's those books and shows that have given me a connection with an individual deeper than a movie or short book ever can. I love having my heart changed.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Would I Miss It If I Lost It?

2006-10-16T22:15:00.000-04:00

When it comes to parenting, I am the one who apparently gets to enjoy the firsts with Rachel. I was the first one to let her fall on her head (she slipped right off the bed and plopped right on her head). Poor Erin missed out on that fun.

Well, today I got to have yet another first with Rachel. Once again, Erin wasn't around to see the glorious moment.

Rachel knocked over some chili on the ground in a parking lot. I picked it up, having her help out so she'd stay close. As I put the remaining chili in the car (a process that took at most 1/2 of a second) I turn and she's disappeared. I immediately get crazy nervous. I run to the back of the car... Guess what? No Rachel. At this point my heart is racing, I look around frantically, and tears begin to form. I hop 1 step to my left and I see her walking to her door to the van, ready to get in.

You always hear about the parent who loses their kid when they looked away from just one second. I can't believe it was me, and that I lost her in a parking lot. Thankfully my kid is a genius and knew exactly what she was doing the whole time. I'm also glad God has graced me with a short memory and healing heart so I won't be paranoid every time Rachel is out of my sight for one second.

On the way home I was thinking about what a great story this actually is. If you lost something, how much would it matter to you?

If I lost my keys, No biggie, get them replaced, I'm out at most $100 (car keys are expensive to replace).

If I lost my wallet, just cancel the cards, I'm out the gift cards.

If I lost my job, I'd be pretty upset. In the end though, there are other jobs.

If I lost my house, being homeless you suck. It would be hard, probably the hardest thing I've ever done. When it comes down to the wire though, the things I lost can be replaced. 5 years later I wouldn't really miss that old stuff. All of it.

What if I'd really lost Rachel?

It's moments like these that really make me recognize what love means. We always talk about love as something you can't quite quantify or describe in detail. Here's what I can tell you.

You will know you love something the moment you think you have lost it. You'll know that it can't ever be replaced, you'll wonder if you can live without it and you'll ask what to do with you life now. You'll also realize that you would give up the keys, the wallet, the job and the house just to get that thing back.

God gave me a huge scare and an even greater gift tonight. I'm glad it ended quickly and happily.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Paper Perfection

2006-10-13T22:07:00.000-04:00

Ok, it wasn't perfect. I even found a big dividing line in the middle of my third page (thankfully the teacher said not to worry about it). If some of you were wondering though, I did get my paper done and in on time. I failed to mention that in the 5 hours I had to finish it there was a 1 1/2 hour meeting (which actually lasted 2 1/2 hours) plus the drive home (thankfully I could work on the paper during that).

Anyway, it got done and isn't half bad. Erin proofed it and had very, very few changes. Thank goodness for her and Ann giving me a paper to use for formatting (I couldn't have cheated off it; I didn't even read her title or content. I barely understood her citations) and her advice on going to the Perdue Web site.

In any case, it's together and out. I think it came out relatively well. We'll know more next week when I present it to the class. That will be so much easier, I love talking.

Thank you all for your prayers. It's been a crazy week, but everything is catching up nicely.

Oh yeah, and why the heck did she choose Dr. Shepherd over the vet guy. Insanity I tell you, I'd marry the vet guy if I could. :)

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

A Good Shepherd

2006-10-13T22:00:00.000-04:00

I've been working through the book of John in the Message bible as a personal journey and journal. There have been a bunch of things I've found interesting but it's been late and I haven't quite decided how to write a public blog on it (yep, believe it or not I don't wear my entire world on my sleeve).

Tonight I came across John 10.11-13.

The Good Shepherd puts the sheep before himself, sacrifices himself if necessary. A hired man is not a real shepherd.

The good Shepherd is willing to die for his sheep and puts the sheep before himself. A hired person can’t be that Good Shepherd.

I’m not exactly sure, but somehow this teases my mind about hiring people to do jobs in the church before finding a volunteer who is qualified or willing to be trained to do it. The volunteer does the job because their heart is in it. While that may very often be true of the employee, there will always be a financial piece which makes it easier to think of as a “job” instead of a relationship.

Say the parish decides to cut your salary, or drop the position all together because of financial issues beyond your control. Do you leave? Volunteers do the job because they care for the people they are impacting and the God they are serving. Sometimes I think that gets muddied when money comes in the middle of it.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Paper Nightmare

2006-10-11T13:33:00.000-04:00

Have you ever had this nightmare? You get ready for class and realize that you have a paper due that day which you didn't know about? You didn't read the resources and the library is closed. You didn't think about the thing at all and you don't even remember how to write a research paper, forgetting what a topic question and conclusion is or even how to write a bibliography?

Yeah, that's my life right now. The paper I thought was due next week is actually due today. I realized it late last night. Yes, even the "don't remember how to write a research paper" is true. I had to ask a friend who's in school to send me a paper so I could see if you still indent paragraphs and what a bibliography (er, works cited now I understand) looks like.

So, yeah, I'm kind of freaking out. But it's been fun. I've found the library, figured out how to get money on my card to make copies and begun writing. Thank all the gods that there may be (ok, really I know there's just one, and He IS watching over me) that this paper is only two pages double spaced and the teacher gave us the works to cite.

In case you didn't know what to pray for, this thing is due in 5 hours and I only have one sentence done. Thankfully they are the hardest. Time to get back and stop letting my mind free-flow.

Gift Mixes

2006-10-05T23:09:00.000-04:00

I have met some incredible people in my life. Some of what I've done in this blog is to talk about them. That's not to say anything like "nyah, nyah, my friends are better than your friends". It's not even to say that there's hope for the world in us human beings, though there is.

The reason I share these stories is to remind myself and get others thinking about real practical ways that we can make a lasting difference in this world. Ways we can be remembered by others for the incredible ways (both big and small) we change the world.

This story is about Christine. I was over at her place working on their computer. I had to bring Rachel, who was about six months old at the time, since Erin was off someplace else.

While I'm playing with the computer (thank goodness they've since gotten rid of it) Christine was holding on to Rachel and settling her down from a bit of crying. How did she do it? She began to hum/sing to her. For the Merola's though, not just any song would do. Rachel was regaled with the theme from the Mario brothers (the original Nintendo version). Needless to say, while I couldn't settle Rachel, Christine's rendition of the Mario Brothers worked immediately.

Soon we were both singing along. Doot-doot-doot-du-doot deet-da-deet (see, it's not humming, but it's not singing either, really Christine was beeping in key to Rachel).

Why, after almost two years, do I bring this up? Well, Rachel likes to sing songs to herself when she's going off to sleep. I am almost positive I heard her singing a little bit of the Mario Brothers song. Two years later Rachel still has that buried deep in her mind.

What little gift that you have inside of you every day can you use to make an impact that lasts for years on another person? God has done some amazing things through Christine's gaming experience and her singing voice. He just amazes me sometimes with how it all comes together.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Catalyst: Day 2 Highlights

2006-10-05T22:47:00.000-04:00

You can do some huge things by simply stepping out into the community and tapping those resources.

In the morning there were 5 absolutely incredible break dancers (I mean, these guys and girl were absolutely amazing and defy gravity and some speed records). Then there was the percussion section from a local high school band. Later there were English flags, horses (yes, 5 horses in all) and some amazing humor, even if none of it applied to the conference except to make things unclear. Later on Lanny came out with a monkey on his back, again, he sure got that from someone in the community. To top it all off (I'm glossing over the horn guy, the be-bop guy and the woman who spoke words backwards) Lanny brought in his friend form the community.... Jeff Foxworthy.

This makes me think that we're not tapping into the community nearly enough. Maybe we can never tap them enough.

The low of the conference was probably being told "You are blocking the aisle and have to move. You certainly can't plug in [your laptop] here." and getting kicked out of the auditorium.

I was later told by another organizer when I came back, "I know this stinks, but I'm going to have to ask you to move. They need to keep the aisles clear." What a difference, I was happy to listen and follow him.

Another low (albeit minor) is that the concert they were plugging tonight actually cost even more money to go to. Needless to say I enjoyed dinner with the rest of the group and tried to find a ColdStone (which was closed) instead.

While the conference has been interesting so far, I'm looking forward to getting back home and having a lot less sensory overload. Though I do have to say, Catalyst puts on one amazing and unforgettable show.

Thought for the day? What's the difference between story and show? If done right are they interchangeable? (Thank's to Rob for that question).

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Catalyst: Jeff Foxworthy

2006-10-05T22:15:00.000-04:00

There was a surprise guest this afternoon at Catalyst. Ok, the title of the post probably gave it away. Jeff Foxworthy came out and was just hilarious. Mark Batterson was actually able to catch some of his redneck jokes (he got about half of them, I counted 15... Yes, I am a nerd counting jokes).

What surprised me more than anything about Jeff's talk was that it really was a talk. there was some deep insight to go along with some incredible humor. Here's what I took away:

Jeff defines a redneck as someone with a glorious absence of sophistication and education. He knows them well because he's unsophisticated and uneducated. Everyone in the room is the same way, or has someone in their family who is.

His main point came down to this though. Every one we want to reach as leaders is going to be a redneck. These are the people we need to build up as leaders. They are the people who will be the arms of God, to bringing the good news of Jesus to the world.

These people aren't going to be the scholars of the world. We won't be sitting behind a desk reading about how to save people. We'll be out doing the work with the gifts God's given us to use.

These people aren't going to be sophisticated. We aren't going to be at all of the posh parties. We may have a "flyswatter in the passenger seat of the minivan so that we can reach the kids while we're driving".

When you're looking for people to build the kingdom of god, it's not going to be the experts, it's going to be through growing the rednecks of the world into followers.

Catalyst: Gary Haugen

2006-10-05T17:56:00.000-04:00

Gary Haugen is the leader of the International Justice Mission which works to free children from prostitution in Rwanda.

Stuck at the visitors center. We're traveling with jess but we're staying safe and missing the adventure.

We can see a life of joy, and enjoy the glory of God. We just won't go, the visitors center looks so much more safe and appealing.

How do we, as leaders, help get our people out of the visitors center?

We must prepare our minds for action.

We need clarity about where Jesus is headed. Jesus is not headed to the visitors center.

Clarity about the nature of the world in which Jesus is heading. It's a world of rock and ice, a world of short breaths because it's a struggle with a world of hurt and human need in the world.

What's God's plan for making things good in his ways?

It turns out that we're the plan. And he doesn't have another backup plan.

Injustice is about the abuse of power to take from people those things god has intended for them.

Catalyst: Marcus Buckingham

2006-10-05T17:27:00.000-04:00

In all great teams they all have a great manager running them.

Companies will say that their culture make them strong. That's untrue, organizations don't have one culture. They have as many different cultures as they have managers in relation to the day to day activity of the company.

How long you stay with a company and how long you're there results massively with the person you report too.

If you lined up all managers against the wall you'll see that they all have the same approach to getting the best out of people.

The job of manager of people is to turn one person's talent into performance. Your job is to reach people and speed up the talent of the person and the goals of the team.

Good manager's aren't soft on you. They are often harder on you than you are on yourself. They show you what excellence is. They should be coaching you, balancing you, figuring out how to get your talent into performance, even if it works the person out of the position they are in.

Good manager's don't do it for the success of the company. The best managers in the world have a natural ability to see very small increments of growth and get a kick out of it. They naturally want to see their people grow.

You need to see people not as a means to a performance end (what can you get done) but instead look at people as an end unto themselves.

Great managers find out what is unique about each person and capitalize on it. Average managers generalize. "Oh, I know accountants, they're all shy".

You need to have the perception to find out what's unique about each person. Then spend 80% of your time working with the person and getting them to push and work to their strengths. Put them in positions that work their strengths.

We need to become strength focused and not focus on weaknesses. We focus on weakness and take strengths for granted. We focus on divorce instead of marriage. If you study bad and invert it you get not bad instead of good.

We think building strengths will be less successful than fixing weaknesses. Most of us bet our success, satisfaction and career on fixing what we aren't.

Ask yourself, what percentage of your typical workday do you spend working to your strengths? In the U.S. 14%, U.K. 9% work to their strengths for most of the day.

Myths we've been indoctrinated to believe are true.

Myth 1: As you grow your personality changes.

As we grow our values, circumstances and achievements change.

Truth 1: As you grow you don't change your personality into someone else's, as you grow you become more and more the person you are.

If I gave you a personality test every year until you die, it may change by .6% or .7% but will stay the same.

Myth 2: You'll grow the most in your weakest areas (that's why we call them areas of development).

When a child comes home with an A in English and an F in Algebra, which area needs the most focus? Parents say it's Algebra, but you should invest most time in the A. You need to recognize the F but should spend most time on the A.

Truth 2: The areas where we will grow the most are in our areas of greatest strength.

Myth 3: The myth that what the team needs for you to do is chip in and fix the need.

Truth 3: What the team needs is for you to identify your strength and offer them most of the time.

The best teams aren't made up of the same people doing everything equally well.

A team becomes well rounded precisely because everyone in it isn't.

I hate confrontation in life. For me to be confrontational is not the best way to spend my time. the best way is to find someone who is good at handling confrontation and having them deal with it.

It's not going to be easy to stay on your strength path for the rest of your life. People will try to stray you off it, by offering you more promotions etc outside your area.

There will be times when you'll get an opportunity which plays to your strength but you think your strengths could never fill the opportunity. you need to seize those opportunities.

Catalyst: Andy Stanley

2006-10-05T11:04:00.000-04:00

One of the unavoidable consequences of leadership is that you get attention. Once you say "follow me" you get an inordinate amount of attention. The harder you try to come off the pedestal the more you're on it because people love to follow leaders who don't want to be on a pedestal.

At the end of the day, regardless of how we got there, it is the most high god that is sovereign over the kingdom of men, and he gives them to whoever he wishes.

It's real easy for a little bit of attention to take us off center.

We're all set-up and prone for failure when we forget that the sovereign god is ruler of men, and gives them to anyone he wishes and sets over them the lowliest of men (Daniel 4:17)

All leadership is a stewardship. It is given to people and it is taken away. It is temporary and all leaders are accountable.

Do you believe that all of God's ways are just? It's hard because I want to view god through my own lens of temporal understanding.

Diligent

If it's true that god has placed you where you are and gifted you with leadership, then you have to get up every morning and lead with all the diligence you can find.

The sovereign god of leadership has put you where you are, and you just need to relax.

When you begin thinking "If I don't it won't" or "If I do it will" then it begins to become all about me.

Fearless

If this is true, who do you need to be afraid of? If god has gifted you and given you this place, then who should you fear?

The church leadership are not the people who put you in your position as a pastor. I'm not working for men, I'm accountable to men, I'm going to be responsible to men, but God has placed me here.

Humble

Of all the leaders in the world, those of us who are Christians should have the hallmark of humility. Why aren't pastors, Christian leaders known as the most humble people others have met?

Leadership is a stewardship. There is not one speck of room for arrogance in leadership of the church.

Every day, within the context of your time with God, you pray "you are the sovereign of men and you give it to whoever you want to. Today I want to lead with all my heart and not fear any man. At the end of the day I want to be the most humble man I can be."

Catalyst: Day 1 Thoughts

2006-10-04T22:46:00.000-04:00

I have two requirements for a conference. Perhaps this comes from mainly attending technology based events for working at a technological firm. There are the two things that really help me enjoy a conference.

Wi-Fi access (Free broadband)
Power outlets (I’m relegated to the back row so I can find a plug for every other session to make sure my laptop doesn’t die in the middle of a talk)

Yeah, these may be minor, but they struck me as a serious lack of the facilities.

Of course, this doesn’t actually reflect directly on the Catalyst conference itself. In general it has been good, though not necessarily great. While the materials are really visual and interesting, they are not functional at all. We’ve been flipping back and forth between pages have just had a hard time really identifying the information we need (what room a speaker is in and what the person is talking about).

I have also discovered another pet peeve of mine. When a worship service is going on the slides for the words should not change font from song to song, the background should not interfere with reading the words and, most important (probably because Rob has drilled it in my head) the words the congregation should sing should be up on the wall before we have to sing them, not after we’ve already started the verse.

The last two speakers really were great and have gotten me to look at how I’ve been a part of youth ministry and where I can grow as I move through any leadership position. It’s time for me to begin creating a community centered around building leaders.

In the end, I don’t go to a conference for the organization or really even for the speakers. You can hear them on CD or DVD afterward for far cheaper.

You go to a conference to get away from life for a while and really connect with those around you. So far, that has been great. We’ve bonded around a plane flight where we couldn’t see outside the plane (unless you could the 2 inches between the window and the engine). We’ve discussed the great artists (Bon Jovi & Genesis of course). Then there was a new college grad we met on the plane (stinks I never got her name) who’s heading back to Texas to begin looking for a job as an elementary school teacher. I just know God is going to work some amazing acts through this woman.

I’m really excited to see God work through the conference and the community we’ll be finding in each of us. It’ll be fun.

Peace,

+Tom/Bob

Catalyst: The Church Experiment

2006-10-04T22:37:00.000-04:00

Rick McKinley and Chris Shey presented the evening session on The Church Experiment. Together they opened with some great humor and kept the entire group lively, not a small feat for a session that begins at 7:30pm. The key points I grabbed from them was:

What does it look like for the church to move from a place that tries to be relevant to culture to being and institution/organization that is influencing, creating and changing culture?

Rather than looking at culture and trying to be relevant, what does it take to redeem and shape culture?

If you take the incarnation out of Christianity, it's just a set of religious dogma.

As a pastor you want to be liked. We want to be thought well of and want to have said that he has a nice church. That doesn't change culture... It's like being the most popular kid in the chess club.

In order to be incarnational, need to ask how I can lead a change in our culture.

Restoring Eden - Group that travels to Christian colleges and tries to talk about using our natural resources as part of our covenant with Noah and part of the beauty of creation.

How do we commute to church, how do we do coffee, how do we recognize the cosmos?

The hope for the church in the West is in the East, it's when we humble ourselves and listen to the people of the East.

How do we deal with tribalism as a church and how do we make disciples in Rwanda after the genocide? Do I act as a tribesman or a Christian? You can't talk about repentance or forgiveness to your own tribes, because then you become a traitor, need to talk about revenge and get justice. You can't talk about justice without forgiveness.

This isn't church, it's the doorway. If you're not here to begin serving then you don't understand what it means to be a part of the church.

How do you move from a ministry mindset and culture that's attractional and begin to see an incarnational way of ministry?

Chris: It's really hard. Many churches were started by asking "what do people want?" but the primary threat to Christianity is consumerism, and people are attracted to the church but not the gospel. People got what they wanted but now they want something else. We end up killing ourselves but not getting people to this place.

I say simply that "I do not give a damn about your felt needs." I do care about your real needs. Your real needs are to love your god and to love your neighbor.

Need to say, what if we forego spending $150, 000 on a youth blowout and instead divert our resources to Rwanda. People intuitively say yes, that's right, but then struggle when they don't have the event.

Rick: The question supposes something that we don't really want, which is the unattractive church. The answer isn't to go "Let's make this a really lame service and see if anybody comes" instead what do you do when people show up? Do you spend your resources meeting felt needs, or do you get people to begin leading a missional life or asking them to leave.

It's to move people and make them disciples.

What are the most vital aspects about starting a church in today's culture? Starting with incarnation churches, how do you do that effectively?

Chris: When you get people there it's what you do with the people. Just having my family in the living room with another family, there needs to be a sense of us coming together. But what are we coming together for?

Do we believe the Gospel says things about celestine planning? If so we need to live that.

Rick: you want to go through gifts assessments. There's a 60% - 80% failure rate for church plants. You need to be assessed and committed to that sort of thing. Then ask "do I live this way, do the people around me live this way"? It's a value shift, it's not about a mission statement on paper, it's about a person going around saying I know the mission and vision of the church because I've felt it.

I've realized that I can't change the heart of the people in the church and I can't change my own heart. It becomes a season of repentance asking God to change our own hearts.

What's the biggest thin you guys want to say to the evangelical church?

Chris: The reason Christianity is broken is that we're working on the facts of Christianity, instead of what it means to be Christian. Historical Thinking and Other Unnatural Acts book by Sam Weinberg. Talks about the uselessness of learning the facts. Our minds are made for narrative, and without narrative there's nothing to make them stick.

We should tell the biblical narrative and our narrative. Find our voice in that way.

Rick: Why are we so arrogant to the world and our culture? Why don't we hold our orthodoxy saying we don't have it all figured out?

What are some practical things that the church can do to be sensitive to the world and our environment while we have a dependency to fossil fuels.

Peter: This begins by recognizing that we have an addiction and a problem. It's not going to be solved by drilling in every place that's sacred. We're willing to trade the sacred for the propane.

I was just in Pikesvile, MN and the ton was dead but the hotel was filled because a windmill company was hiring people.

People are beginning to get it. WalMart, Exxon, BP are looking at ways to find energy independence. Set aside for god instead.

Ty Robinson book - Saving God's Green Earth.

How does Sunday morning come into being missional? What's the most important part of Sunday morning.

Chris: I don't think its Sunday morning. It's about gathering together. There's a kind of worship, beauty and majesty gathering together.

Whatever the metronome is set at, slow it down a few notches. Give people more time for silence and prayer.

Rick: We try to make our identity about focusing on the world and not ourselves. We expose people to ministry and tell the stories, but we gather to worship to meet with god and gather together and do the sacraments.

Chris: I don't know how you don't do the sacraments every week. As often as we can we invite people to the table.

How can the church shape culture when we're in the minority status?

Rick: Why are we the minority status? When we become part of the culture then our status doesn't matter.

Chris: We're only the minority in the West.

Rick: I think we want to be Jesus. We want to pay attention to him. I wouldn't call Jesus to save Western civilization. If America goes away then I've still got some culture to go to. I'm trying to redeem culture.

Erick Celeste article - Save the Ten, Lost the Eleven. He's saying Christianity is a bunch of bonk, but really he doesn't get Christianity.

A lost of people we believe to be Christian and part of the Christian culture really don't get Christianity.

What's the difference between shepherding a flock and CEO of a company?

Chris: I don't want to do this necessarily. Gods puts you in a place and says love these people. God has put these people under your care, so you herd with them, suffer with them when they suffer and celebrate with them when they celebrate. A system or organization of Christianity doesn't seem to work. But a family seems to work intuitively.

Rick: I would love to be a CEO of a company if I hadn't gotten saved. I've got the old man who wants to run the church. But I have God's voice that makes me recognize that the crazy lady in the church matters.

Brokenness. You have to know pain, because everyone else's life is going not hell and is hurt and broken. When we pretend that's not true we create a false gospel and they'll wake up and walk away. We need to let them know that we understand life sucks sometimes.

After tragedy couples come to our church. Which is odd because why would you not stay at your old church? People don't want to hear that God knows and has a plan, the want people why just says "that sucks"

What is your approach to the apologetics?

Chris: The kind of apologetics I'd like to do on a campus is to bring mangos on the campus and have them taste mango. Then ask them how they can't believe in Jesus. The logos is the core of Christian religion. Chase after wisdom and others will chase after you. The beauty of that wisdom is the logos.

Rick: It's a continued posture. The question about the gospel is "does life work", "can life work". You're always talking through an apologetic lens, but you're not fighting the value about evolution or whether it was six days. People have no trouble holding opposing propositions in place, but at the end of the day it's about what works.

???

Rick: culture is the air your breathe, you don't get to get out of culture.

Does scripture tell me to steward the earth? Yeah.

Does it tell me to worship the earth? No

Does it tell me the tree has the same value as me as a human? No

There's God, the others then the earth. But to advocate them we stand side by side with environmentalists for different reasons.

Peter: Also a disconnect that nature is something outside of humanity? We're a part of nature, we're mammals.

Let's assume I'm a youth pastor of a traditional church and I love these new ideas. What the hell do I do now?

Chris: We need to come to a point where we stop preaching Andy Stanley's sermons and talk about the real you. Find your voice and begin articulating your story.

We need pastors and youth ministers to find their voice and tell the truth with their own stories. Get around people who will tell you "I don't believe you" and learn from that feedback. We'll become a country of stories

Rick: Don't do it because you're angry. Do it because you're living it, and take kids along with you to go live it.

There may come a time that you realize going down this road will harm the church, but then it's probably time to leave.

At what point do you go from welcoming new people to asking them to make the next step?

Rick: We hold the truth side really strongly. We have homosexuals at our church that know we don't believe it's ok, but while they know that truth side they also know the compassion side that walks with them.

This all happens in a culture that says "let's see how this looks like to walk it out". I don't know your problems or you life, but let's see what the scripture says and try to grow out of that broken place.

We're creating a context where true transformation can take place. Where's it safe to be honest. People can come in and if they're looking from the outside they think we're whacked out for hanging all these messed up types of people.

Chris: In journeying into community we've found that when we start a small group every person in the group gets to share their life story. They share a meal and everyone shares their story. Without exception, people get to a part of their story that is really hard, ad when they get to that part of the story the people in that room gets closer. Says they are there for the person, but also thanks them because they are broken the same way that I'm broken. I hope our churches can catch that.

Rick: We have this premarital class and people shares their stories. One couple said they met over drug deals and they had to get married so see each other once one went to jail. We're not Christians but we need to be married to see each-other. So what do you say if you're sitting at that table?

Catalyst: Nurturing A Leadership Culture

2006-10-04T22:25:00.000-04:00

The second lab I made it to today was Tim Elmore speaking about creating a culture of leadership. There was actually a middle lab but I had serious contact problems since my flight and spent that session over at the optometrist and Kroger’s to get some relief. I was so looking forward to hearing Craig Groeschel since I’ve come to love his book Chazown (and I’m still only halfway through it).

In any case, here are the key points I got from Tim. His notes are at growingleaders.com in case mine aren’t good enough.

How do you build an environment that naturally causes leadership to grow?
Most employees aren’t even aware that there’s a culture in their organization. They can join up and say they do or don’t like this place, but can’t say why. It’s because of culture.
Programmatic changes

Most churches make programmatic changes from the outside in. We want to modify behavior so we add a new program. Not necessarily modifying the heart, and may be artificial.
Finding enough leaders to fill spots
Programs come and go.

Organic changes

Authentic changes in the relationship and fiber of your environment. Hard changes from within that actually change the way people think and act from the inside out.
Build an environment where all people are leaders in different areas. Where all plants in the garden are leaders.
Not an overnight change

Are you really a leadership cult or a leadership culture?

A cult is a rudimentary group of followers devoted to a person whose organization and authority seem to fade when that person that created it departs.
A culture is an environment where people chare a common language, values, qualities and behaviors and set them apart from others and which grows of itself.

Kenyans don’t need to be told how to act like a Kenyan. Kenyans naturally grow Kenyans.

Ingredients of a Culture

Common Values - Not just posted on a wall but they live them out.
Common Language
Common Qualities
Common Customs and Behaviors

A leadership culture emerges when someone champions the cause of leadership and works a plan to create that environment.
Programs usually start very big and shrink to something small. Movements start small (like 12 disciples) and grow very, very large.
Movements that lasted more than one generation had the following ingredients.

Central Man or Woman (God brings up one individual, not a committee or large group) in the beginning catches a vision
Compelling Mission - Central statement that says what we're about
Creative Model - See a tangible example of how it's been done and how it should be done
Catalytic Meeting - Leader brings people together from one area
Critical Mass - Not everyone buys in, but a percentage does. Becomes the body of people that say they want to do something about this (often doesn't take very many, just a few with reckless abandon)
Community Materials - Original leader or others commits the words of this mission, vision and leadership to print. Leader realizes they'll be gone someday and want to keep the ideas going forward after the original leader is gone
Contagious Movement

People need events and process in their life
Event

Encourages decisions

At a one day conference or event people make decisions

Motivates people
Calendar issue
Usually about a big group
Challenges people
Becomes a catalyst for change
Easy

Process

Encourages development

Cannot develop the event without process

Matures people

Mature in the weeks and months following the event if you apply the lessons learned from the event

Consistency issue
Usually about a small group
Changes people
Becomes a culture

Building leadership culture means I do process really well.

Difficult

Life change happens in small groups. "There is no life change without life exchange."
An event will spike growth. after the event the interest will drop, but with process it won't drop back to the level where you began
Youth camps are an event. Two days devoted to the change and the last four devoted to living the process once you get home
Never again plan an event for the church until a process has been developed to go with it
In New York in the early 90's fixing all the windows changed the culture of the city. A tiny change can make a huge change in the culture
We had a Sunday School of 60 students. I knew I could preach some of them in, but instead began changing the culture. We began building leaders and grew from 60 to 600. I don't think I preached any better, but at least one out of every 10 of our people were in a position of leadership and giving responsibility of a leader.
When you first get started there's no momentum. Once you get going, you're not as good a leader as people think you are.
A Leadership culture is an environment of shared values and behaviors that contagiously affect people to think and act like authentic leaders. It's an environment that gets people to think like people.
Plan to implement a leadership culture

Criteria

Sit with a key group of influencers and ask what criteria God wants us to go after
What's the criteria of the qualities of people you're going to look for of the people to get in the movement. (Jesus didn't ask anyone he ants to come come to be disciples. He had a definite criteria)
Example: GIFTS - Gifted people (in front of groups, organizing, planning, strategizing, connecting with people, something makes them influential), Influential (have influence in a circle), Fruitful (want to see them already bearing fruit, even if having a team to sweep floor), Trustworthy (can't train for integrity), Serving (already serving in some capacity, even if it's a minor thing, don't want someone who's just "praying for a mentor to come along")

Catalyst

come up with some catalytic event
Example: Had two catalytic events every year where we'd talk about and wrestle with the idea that god wants us to raise up leader.
Not everyone is a leader as someone who has a position. But the following definition, "Leadership is simply using my influence for a god given cause"; everyone has this.
We have the capacity as human beings to lead a group.

Communities

Had event now have critical mass. Step up and say "Now many of you really identified with principles this weekend. If you really want to continue on this journey sign-up and we'll match you in a group to continue to build on this journey
Clusters of people that are going to do the process

Challenge

Every community should be given a real problem to solve in he church or in the community. Over the next 6 months have them work together to solve that problem.
Leaders solve problems

Coaches

Ideally every one of the communities aught to be led or facilitated by a coach.
The coach does not need to be an expert, just needs to be a facilitator to make sure the group does not get of topic. Keeps them moving forward even if they're only one step ahead of the group

Consultants

On the way the problem may seem large even the coach doesn't have answers. Bring in a consultant from the community outside the church one time to get some expertise on that area.

Curriculum

Found that it was helpful to give the groups some sort of guide to go through finding leadership principles that helped them keep on track.
Becomes a discussion point in addition to the problem

Champion

Someone will have to be the champion for the process.

Habitudes - How to change culture

the Joshua Problem

The problem is that Joshua never found someone to pour into and never trained another Joshua. This lead to the worst period of history for Israel
Can't neglect the idea of apprenticing
Must have apprentices for every leader you have in church

Critical Mass

Who are you going to implode on in a small group before you're going to explode on the whole congregation
Get some key influencers, get the small community so that the buzz begins in them and explodes in the community. then make an announcement so it sticks

Hollywood Effect

Assume the character. Act on the character you want to be like
When an organization wants to change and you post the cultures on the wall it takes at least 10 years for the change to happen
If the key influencers simply act on the key values (even if it feels like they're acting) the effects can be seen within three years

Family Virus

to build culture need to have people work in teams (close proximity) and have them fit the culture (Similarity)

Charles Simeon's Leadership Culture

Mentor said if you want to change the culture of an organization you need to stay within the organization.
Circles

Chapel - outer circle

Said after talk, now some of you resonated what I had to say, if so meet me Tuesday for conversation

Conversation Groups

Take it deeper and hand pick the ones who he saw as potential leaders. Invited to supper club Sunday nights to go deeper

Supper clubs

amounted to about 15. Challenged about leading and making a difference.
Made a group of 3 or 4 that were seniors and he called his inner circle. Worked as vision casters and as a movement maker within the church.

Became a fundraiser to get the money to get the 3 or 4 leaders he wanted to be leaders within the church instead of letting the rich of the church decide
Not a great speaker and had a kind of crusty personality. But changed the culture of the Anglican church

Catalyst: Innovation

2006-10-04T22:16:00.000-04:00

Margaret Feinberg discussed keeping the church relevant and innovative to spread God's message.

“When I try something a little bit innovative often it doesn’t turn out like I expected”
“As followers of Jesus we’re called to step out of our ruts and be innovators”
We flavor and illuminate as followers of Jesus
Passion + Calling = Innovation
Passion

Passion keeps your light in orbit around something
Passion is more a notion or an equaling. It’s something you find yourself doing over and over again. For others it’s less clear and you may have no idea what you want to do with your life. For those people listen to your friends. When you talk about your passion you light up, those around you can help identify those things.

Calling

We should have a calling that is heavenward but secondarily is to the people around us

Innovation

Innovation is not the same as being inventive
Innovation is a place of prayer

Our passion and our calling brings us to a point where we really don’t know what to do with it and we must turn to Jesus
Innovation is a place of relationship
If you’re going to be innovative you can’t do it alone
Who are we seeking as mentors of the previous generation so that we’re not learning the same thing over and over again?
Who are we seeking of the next generation to pass the baton to
Innovation is a place of personal and spiritual growth
Jay, a church planter, asks new people one question, “What do you love about Jesus?”
Innovation is something that can’t be measured. You never know how it’s going to be spread.
How do you live the innovative life?
You must embrace it
Don’t just look at the new stuff and say “I’ve tried that before and it didn’t work”
It’s the nature of people to be inventive. Everyone feels like they have something inside that they want to invest. The world moves forward because we are innovators… – Don Kelly - Former patent office chairman
Demonstrate

Need to actually live your passions for others to see it
Dust off your passions Put them into practice
Even if following your passion doesn’t work out the way you expect, living your passion encourages those watching you to innovate and try new things as well

Mentor

Diving into your passion and living the innovative life, mentor others. Encourage them that nothing is more important than loving god and loving others.
Even things that are innovative and you’re passionate about should be held back and put on the back burner to allow you to spend time on those things that are important, like God, family and loving others.

I Smell Like Sour Milk

2006-10-01T22:32:00.000-04:00

You know it's a good party when you can walk away and say "I small like sour milk". Ok, not everyone says that, but in this case, it's very true.

I just went to my final youth group meeting of 2006. This was an incredibly fun and immensely moving night for me.

The fun came in the form of some incredible games (all of which people threw things at my face) or the Jell-O pie eating contest with whipped cream (which I won, woo hoo) though I now have a face with old whipped cream which makes me smell like sour milk.

Then there were the gifts. I got a big poster with pictures and notes from everyone. Tegan and Taylor went way beyond what I expected and I'm still trying to get my mind around a gift that took so much time and love. The stories brought me to tears, I can't believe the number of lives God has allowed me to touch. Then there is my new Peter Pan hat from Christine, Amy and Kim and my old shirt with signatures all over it. Also the sheer amount that Peter, Mary and Martha (along with help from many teens including the Hansbergers and some I don't even know about) put into the evening just awes me.

Last were the stories. Stories of how I've touched lives and how those people have changed me. There were so many stories, serious, long hugs and sheer love that it's moved me more that I can ever put into words.

I keep wondering what God has in store for me. Right now He's given me some really great people to lean on and the realization that I need to really rely on the support of those around me. I've got to think that youth will always be a part of my life; these guys have moved me so much.

Now that this evening has finished and I'm really off of youth group for the next few months, it's time for me to reflect on them and on God's call for me. I'll go into those details another day.

Tonight I am going to enjoy heading off to bed with the vivid memories of the night as I smell my face covered in sour milk.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Perspective on Perspectives - Tasting the Sun

2006-09-29T22:13:00.000-04:00

This morning I had the following conversation with my daughter.

Rachel: I taste the sun

Dad: How do you taste it?

Rachel: Remember, we look at it.

It's amazing to me just how clear and understandable the impossible is. I had never considered tasting the sun before, and yet it's an easy and obvious thing to do.

Sometimes I think I need to be a bit more creative when looking at the world around me. I've never considered the taste of the sun or the smell of the wind until now.

I think it's time to open my eyes and taste the world with them.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Stories - An Example

2006-09-28T13:31:00.000-04:00

Well, it turns out the photo I snagged from Flickr in my Stories post was used by C.B. Whittemore in another post (I don't know which one). Perusing her posts about marketing, I came across her post on Going the Extra Kilometer with Iron Girl Judy Molnar.

There are a lot of little things which were done during this event. Each one of them made a mark in the people participating.

The mere existence of this post shows that the Iron Girl competition changed people and has them telling stories about how they were changed.

What's my point? This post has some really specific and easy ways to impact people at our next church event. Ways that get different generations impacted all at once. This post made it clear that it's easy to make a huge event personal.

Jody closed the entry appropriately with this.

…you may not know which personal touch will connect with the consumer and differentiate you from the others. But, if you focus on the little things that tell a consumer that you care, they can all add up to a very big difference.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Stories

2006-09-28T13:04:00.000-04:00

During our recent staff retreat, we talked a lot about stories. We talked about hearing the special stories about how a particular program or even touched someone's life.

Right now I'm on my way into work listening to WMZQ (you can tell Erin's driving, I wouldn't be listening to commercial radio, or even typing on a laptop as I drive) as they advertise their upcoming job fair. What struck me about this ad is that it wasn't an advertisement so much as a storytelling.

During parts of the program they would just have employees come up to the microphone and talk about how they found their job at WMZQ, what they love about it (they did love what they did, that part was emphasized a lot) and how the job has affected their life. The DJ (the ads went on throughout the day) would ask the person questions and drop in some of their own experience.

You knew that what these people did at WMZQ was more than just a job. They were doing what they loved with people they liked to be around. You also heard from everyone, the DJ's, studio producers, sales people and even the interns.

These guys have storytelling down. Whenever we have an event at church, there should be people talking about how it's changed them. If we aren't hearing any stories for our programs, maybe those programs need to be revisited.

Stories are all I can think about now as I go places (Rachel's gym class, Rachel's school, college, church events, meetings (yes, meetings) or retreats). What story do I want to tell afterward? More importantly, what stories do other people want to share?

If you've got a story, share it! If you've heard a story, let someone else know. The best way to change lives is to talk about how your life is changing.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

What Are You Remembered For Florence Leary?

2006-09-28T12:45:00.000-04:00

On September 15th, 2006 my grandmother, Florence Leary, passed away peacefully in her sleep. I wish I could say the entire process was peaceful, but she went through a lot of pain from her rheumatoid arthritis, especially in the last few weeks. Thankfully, she was able to finally decide it was time to move on from this world and hang out with god, which meant the increased medication could help her last few days be restful.

Spending time with my family talking about grandma Leary got me thinking about what it is people remember about her. Here's what I always think about when I think of grandma.

Accepting. I only really completely realized this during grandma's viewing, though my mom had mentioned it. She welcomed everyone and was kind to them regardless of what major events or issues had happened. After my parents divorced, my grandmother continued to be my mom's mom. She also cared about and accepted my uncle (by marriage into the family) when he was lost both in life and with his marriage.

Once you were a part of the family, grandma was there for you. She was also open enough to tell you when you'd messed up or when you needed to change. At the same time she was glad to tell me how proud she was of both my brother and I.

I try to accept those around me and even make people I've never met feel comfortable. Once I hear some negative news about someone it gets harder for me to treat them quite the same. So far as I could ever see, this wasn't the case with grandma. I only hope each of us can be so loving.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Why I Love the Internet

2006-09-16T15:55:00.000-04:00

I'm writing this as we drive along the New Jersey Turnpike. Almost to the end and my turn to drive, I sure would like to be able to write and drive at the same time, but it'd drive Erin crazy (I could use Dragon NaturallySpeaking, not type and drive, that's almost crazy). Already on this trip, five questions have come up:

How much further to the Vince Lombardi rest area?
Is there gas at the rest area (the signs were misleading, after a quick call from the rest area's site they have as much as I could want)?
Is there traffic on the George Washington Bridge?
Should we take the upper or lower level of the GW Bridge (the lower level based on this site)?
What did that sign on the turnpike just say before it switched off?

As we've been driving up the road a quick bit of searching (mostly on Wikipedia) turned up all of the above information. I can't even remember what it was like before we had all of this real-time information at my fingertips. I must have just flown by the seat of my pants and taken what came. Thank goodness those days are gone, huh?

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Youth Group Resuscitation

2006-09-16T13:42:00.000-04:00

I was reading this post from ChurchBlast about how their youth group has shrunk significantly since many teens graduated off to college. Having been incredibly blessed to be able to share life with a youth group that has grown from 7 teens to over 60, then back to a steady 30 (and a core of 25) I figured I would comment with some of what I've learned through reading, from Rob and (mainly) experience. Here are my thoughts on it all.

Our group began a few years ago with 7 teens and quickly grew to 50. While this wasn't sustained, we have learned a lot from the ebb and flow of the numbers of teens in our group.

For our group the best way to grow has come through strong small groups. Having a core group of 5 teens who care about each-other creates a healthy clique which is willing to welcome others. This environment helps people want to invite their friends as well.

We've coupled that with mission trips and some large fun activities. Having one large, fun and purely secular activity a month, such as a trip to an amusement park, spelunking, hiking, going to a sports event really gets the teens to want to invite friends knowing there is no pressure that the friends they invite must join the group. New teens get to meet others outside their circle of friends at school and figure out if they fit with that group.

Our mission trips (we've used Youthworks for the past 4 years) have also really helped this. Some of the less engaged teens at church have gone on the trips and come back with a whole new outlook toward Christ and each-other.

Another thing we've done to help bring in some new faces has been for a youth leader to simply sit at a central Starbucks that most teens can come to. There's no agenda, just a time to meet the youth leader(s) and chat with friends. While this started with 3 - 5 teens, the weekly meeting grew over 3 to 4 months as people invited more and more friends, or others simply stopped by. While we've only brought maybe 5 or 10 new teens into the "traditional" youth group activities, I and other leaders have made some new connections and really impacted some hurting and lost people.

Another thing we've done is simply to get the leaders into the lives of the teens. going to sporting events at their high school, going to plays they are in (or even helping them get ready for the event, my wife did girls' hair before a play, another mom brought the kids out to Red Robin after each performance), attending science fairs for some teens. Taking youth group outside of the church gets the teens to recognize that you care about them beyond Sunday/Wednesday nights and almost forces them to introduce you to their friends and gives you the chance to be "normal".

One area we have recently begun working on is youth group’s vision and focus. We're working to determine where god is leading our group and what programs we can really focus on, instead of trying to be everything to everyone. Having that written vision, mission and core values for the whole ministry team helps create activities that are so good teens can't help but invite their friends.

The short answer is that we all need to celebrate the teens that have left, but focus our eyes on the unsaved. The teens within the church are incredibly important to youth ministry. They are the links to those unsaved teens at school and they're the ones who will bring in their friends. Focusing bible studies on stewardship and support for their friends (and strangers) in the school gets the teens to recognize the importance they play in a healthy, fun and life changing youth group.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

The Planning Stage

2006-09-11T14:07:00.000-04:00

Right now I am in the planning stage of my life. I'm planning what to do in the next few years. I'm writing out my high level goal for every year over the next five and the steps to make the plan happen.

I'm really working to define what is going to set my life apart from everyone else's. What is God's plan for me that will have the greatest (not the biggest necessarily, the best) impact on the world. What will I pioneer?

This came clearer as I was reading Seth Godin's blog on Doing it for free. Seth says

In fact, the more I think about it, the more it seems that pioneers are almost never in it for the money. The smart ones figure out how to take a remarkable innovation and turn it into a living (or a bigger than big payout) but not the other way around. I think the reason is pretty obvious: when you try to make a profit from your innovation, you stop innovating too soon. You take the short payout because it's too hard to stick around for the later one.

I already know that I'm not very hung up on making gobs and gobs of money. Here's where I do fall into the trap.

...people who want to join the pioneers are often focused on a steady paycheck and juicy options... they would probably be better off seeking the edgiest thing they can find, run by the most devoted visionary.

I am incredibly hung up on the steady paycheck. I've always worried about not having the money when we need it, or keeping up a lifestyle. Not increasing it, but just whether I can make the mortgage payments.

I have been e-mailing my friend Kelly and she said this a little differently. She raised the point:

Now I'm back in NYC and really wishing that I loved working in a job that paid a lot more! One with a bit more security. But oh well - the starving actor life for me:)

If you really read this she makes pretty clear that she loves her job and what she does. For as long as I've known Kelly (about 13 years now, how crazy is that) she has known what she's wanted to do with life and where she wants to be. Truly, I can become jealous of that sometimes.

Sure it's uncertain. She dropped out of college and works from show to show never really knowing what is going to come next. She loves it.

My life has been centered around stability and moving slowly. Now that change is finally occurring I feel God leading me toward that unsure life that might pay very little, and it scares the heck out of me.

Time to put some more faith in God and less in myself. In reality my security has little to do with myself anyway. When do you let your sense of security fall away?

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

My Weekend

2006-09-11T12:08:00.000-04:00

While I generally dislike strictly uninformative posts about my family, I just have to get this out.

First, my mom is awesome. She visited us and helped immensely get Rachel potty trained and just spent time with us all.

Second, over the weekend we got some amazing pictures. Here are my two favorites, no question. In case you weren't sure, it is true. My child is cuter than yours (wink, wink). Yes, these pictures are on Flickr but I wanted to highlight them somehow.

Have you ever seen bluer eyes
(believe it or not, I didn't Photoshop them)?

Rachel just randomly started making faces at me.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Potty Power

2006-09-09T22:10:00.000-04:00

Anybody remember Scrappy Doo always saying "Puppy Power" before doing something incredible? I'm a die-hard traditionalist. Scooby, Shaggy, Fred, Velma & Daphne without weird and perky sidekicks. The best thing about the first movie was that Scrappy was gone (sort-of).

While I always disliked Scrappy, it was cool that he shouted Puppy Power and did amazing things you didn't even know he could do. He transcended himself and amazed everyone around him.

Today I'm thinking of teaching Rachel to say Potty Power. While we've been working on potty training her for a week and a half, today she amazed us all. She went all day without making any accidents and without needing a diaper. She doesn't even want one for naps or bed time, but we're working on that (thank goodness for pull-ups, the special sleeping diapers).

Rachel told us when she wanted to go (even in the middle of story time at the library) and kept herself dry all day. She truly went beyond what we all expected of her.

When I see Rachel do things like this it gets me to recognize that we humans are capable of much more than we are aware of.

As I keep moving forward in life I'm realizing that I really can do some of these things which I have never thought myself capable. This is bringing about some big changes in my life.

What do you think you're not capable of? Why not try it anyway?

Peace
+Tom/Bob

Million Dollar Idea #3: Zoo Wars

2006-09-03T19:35:00.000-04:00

Today we went to the Cape May County Zoo. I have to say, this is a zoo that seems very well maintained, is really interesting and does it all on donations alone.

While we were there my friend John had a great idea. He wondered who would win if you threw a lion in with an alligator. That spurred on the discussion of a new reality show that we'll need to make. This one would probably go on Discovery or Animal Planet.

We'll take an animal from each habitat, starve them for a few days then throw them into a cage together and let them duke it out! I bed we'd get millions of viewers throughout the series (except maybe the turtle vs. giant sloth fight - maybe time lapse video will be needed there).

This is one I definitely can't pull off on my own. So, if you love this idea as much as the time machine, then you get to run with it, no charge.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Sum of Our Parts Illustration

2006-09-02T13:06:00.000-04:00

We're on the road to New Jersey for a weekend with the family of my college friend Melissa. We stopped off for brunch. At 11:30 I can't say it was lunch, Erin and Rachel had breakfast and I eschewed breakfast (since all breakfast is second class to lunch and dinner) food for a sandwich.

As I watched Rachel pull apart and eat some bacon a great illustration came to mind. I'm wondering why we don't use it more in talks and conversations.

When you have bacon, it's essentially got two parts, meat and fat. You'd never grill bacon without fat, since it would burn. You'd also never break it apart and eat only the fat, that's just gross. It's only by the fat and meat working together that you get a decent taste.

Not liking bacon I figured out an even more relevant illustration... Hot Dogs! Wikipedia has an awesome description and history of the Hot Dog. Along with these listed ingredients:

Contents can also be questionable, with cheaper types of hot dogs having been known to contain snouts, ears and blended organ meat.

Yummmm......

I don't know about you, but the last time I ate snout all alone I wasn't all that impressed. While "blended organ meat" may sound incredibly appetizing, I wonder if it really is as tasty as the name lets on.

All those ears, snouts and organ meat together make for one delicious meal. While I can't abide with natural casing hot dogs (those with sheep intestines holding all the meat in place, that just sounds gross), skinless is darned good.

Where does this whole thing lead? I am so much more with other people than I can be alone. I can get more done, think more creatively and even have more fun.

Why hasn’t anyone else thought of the hot dog illustration before?

At Denny's one family came in with a big group and decided to have some fun. One guy convinced the waitress (in secret of course) to tell the rest of the family that they were out of eggs. It was quite hilarious, and the waitress pulled it off so well I thought they were really out.

Had that guy with the joke came in all by himself I hardly think it would have been as funny.

What are you going to do today? Will you be a pig snout or will you be a delicious hot dog?

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Refuting Real School

2006-08-31T09:56:00.000-04:00

I mentioned being back in in school a few days ago (or was that just yesterday) and alluded to how Nova, the community college wasn't real school. Of all the people to refute me, my own wife comes across Talking about Five Myths About Community Colleges on Encarta. It's definitely worth looking through.

I chose Nova for four main reasons:

It was easy to get into. I registered online and was accepted as soon as I hit submit;
it is close. All other schools I'm considering are at least an hour away;
it's cheap, you can't beat $250 per class; and
it was safe, if I Fail a class it doesn't affect my GPA for other schools at all.

Apparently I really am back in real school. God is just continuing to work my life in some amazing ways, letting me know that heading off to Nova is a pretty darned good idea. I'm excited to see what comes out of it.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Owning What You Deliver

2006-08-31T09:42:00.000-04:00

Last August I came back from a mission trip realizing that the job I do isn't one where I find much satisfaction or purpose. I recognize that I need to work and I have a "good" job that many would envy. Others aren't so blessed. I've heard a lot of feedback from people that they need to figure out how to just "suck-it-up", they're unhappy in their jobs but it's the sacrifice we make for our family.

There are a couple of different factors to work discontent, but this post by Seth Godin on marketing really got me thinking about what it is we're making, what we're selling and who we're selling to.

Thank goodness I'm not selling cigarettes or something else hurtful. I'm developing and selling applications to the government to manage and solve their IT problems. Sounds glamorous, I know. Honestly it can be pretty fun and interesting at times.

Seth points out:

The same way the marketer at Marlboro needs to acknowledge that by being a good marketer, she's putting her kids through college at the same time she's killing thousands of people. It's a choice--her choice.

We're responsible for what we sell and how we sell it. We're responsible for the effects (and the side effects) of our actions.
It is our decision. Whatever the decision is, you need to own it. If you can't look that decision in the mirror, market something else.

While I don't market much of anything I do take people's money and try to give them something back that is worth that investment. I've been asking myself, am I proud to own the product I've built or the information I've given. Do I think that product and information was worth the amount of money people spent on it?

This answer is different for everyone. Erin loves what she does and I'm excited to watch her work. While she groans at doing a proposal (where we tell the government our solution and the cost, essentially marketing our product) I also know that she really enjoys it. She believes in what we offer and likes to be a part of a team of people that feel the same.

When trying to define my discontent I'm coming back to this question. Am I excited about the products we make? Do I really think they are worth the money or make a large impact on the world? I sure hope and pray that you do.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

More Than I Can Do Alone

2006-08-30T16:25:00.000-04:00

Jason over at Granger Community Church mentioned the iDate video that Jeff, one of their video creation gurus, put together. Watching the video is just amazing, but I was also surprised to watch the credits roll by.

There were a bunch of different people that went into making that video a reality (not to mention the 5 days it took for the computer to render the video). It wasn't a team of 20 or anything (looked like about 5 by my count, not mentioning the network storage guys) but it wasn't just Jeff either.

I have no doubt that Jeff could have created something amazing all by himself. For all I know he could have done 99% of the work himself. The fact that other people are listed makes clear that there was a lot of input into that video.

I have just finished Reclaiming the Fire by Dr. Steven Berglas (on the whole a book I don't really recommend) who referred to Lou Gerstner's story:

Apart from his managerial skills, Gerstner's success was due, in large measure, to a passionate refusal to live a lie. After being touted as the ubermanager responsible for RJR Nabisco's profitability, he took the top spot at IBM... He admitted he knew little about the technological underpinnings of the business he was hired to manage... and could not have cared less. Gerschner was strong enough to allow skilled IT professionals to do their specialized engineering work while he did what he knew best: creating efficient systems to market, sell, distribute, and service the product. (emphasis added)

There are so many times that I see a need and want to learn whatever I can to try and meet it.

Right now we've recently implemented an Active Directory environment at church, something I know little about besides that we need a central control of users. So I have books on Windows Server and Active Directory, learning what I can. It's been interesting and even fun (I'm a geek at heart) but I know there are more knowledgeable and more interested people out there I should be relying on (thankfully I think I found a co-worker who will help).

My point is this. I could never make a video like the iDate video. In fact I'd be irritated that a ton of my work went into something that was seen only a few times and then shelved forever. There are much more artistic, technical and experienced people that love this stuff. I might have a vague idea to pitch, but it's the team of people that love what they do who will make it happen. If I tried to do it myself you'd see a 5 second video of two stick figures making out (and by video I mean video taped flip-book).

I'm so glad there are people around us that have passions which I don't share. People who are so much more talented than I am. I really need to keep myself focused on God and pray that He continues to bring these gifted people into my life and gives me the guidance and trust to let them do what they do best.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Sundays Off

2006-08-30T15:44:00.000-04:00

I was just reading Michael's blog and loved what he had to say about taking a day off. Up until this post I would have been upset to say that I rarely go to church when I'm on vacation. I know, shocks of awe and horror abound. It didn't sound like something a youth minister would do.

If you're at all involved in our church, you'll know my wife and I are there quite often. It's a wonderful place to be and there is very little I would trade it for. Every now and then though, it's nice to take a week off.

We both feel way too guilty to just sleep in some Sunday if we are around. It's a bit like Jess commented; don't ever think you have an excuse to miss it, because it only gets easier to skip. At this point I seriously doubt that would happen, but I just don't feel right being local and not going to church. It's much easier not to miss it if it's impossible to go.

This is true for everyone, from the general congregant through the active volunteer and up to the staff. It's hard for me to miss a Sunday partly because it means someone else has to take my place. I don't like making someone do what I can do, feels like I'm shirking my responsibility and giving grunt work to someone. This is definitely something I need to work though, since it clearly leads to me not allowing others to really excel.

In any case, when I do relax on some Sundays, I come back having really missed church. I feel a bit more energized and ready for a fun Sunday. So, when's your next church vacation?

As a side note, I'm convinced he must have just watched this video from Luke's post. It would be great to do something like this at church, if only I had rhythm (or even style like these guys)! Seriously though, you have to watch the video.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

I'm a Student Again

2006-08-29T14:44:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I’ve always been a student of the world like the rest of us. Now I’m also officially a student of Northern Virginia Community College. It doesn't sound like much, but it's definitely a step for me which I've needed to take.

For the past year I've been thinking that I need to enroll at some school and just start taking a few classes. Get familiar with being in school again and figure out where God's hand is leading me. Somehow I've continued to put it off.

While I can come up with a lot of reasons that I've procrastinated, I think it boils down to one thing. Fear.

I am really not sure I'm going to do well in school (even if it's just one class). Even more than that (and that one is pretty big) is the fear of what it means as I begin taking more classes.

I have a strong suspicion that I'm going to be pulled more and more away from the work I currently do. That isn't going to make things easy financially by any stretch of the imagination. With all things financial they lead family discussions and possible life change, something I'm not sure we're ready for.

In any case, I'm thinking of signing up for Survey of the Old Testament to just get my feet wet. I'd rather do Introduction to Greek, but I'm sure not driving to Alexandria every Wednesday evening. Any other suggestions on good classes or good teachers at Nova (if you happen to have gone there)?

Next Fall I plan to switch to a real school (I know I'll get grief for that) where I know the credits will transfer to wherever I go full time.

Do any of you have advice on going to school? I used to be crummy at taking notes and I doubt that's changed a whole lot.

Prayers are always appreciated.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Gems of Wisdom - Overheating Car

2006-08-28T16:07:00.000-04:00

I’ll be the first person to say that there isn’t a ton of practical information that comes out of my blog. Well, that changes right now.

Here’s what you do if your see that your car is overheating. I learned this in high school sometime (and unfortunately had to use it then and a few days ago) and realized how few people know what to do.

So, here’s my piece of practical knowledge for you to know. If you are driving down the road and you hear a strange “ding” and see a little image of a thermometer that wasn’t there before, or if you have a temperature dial and the gauge points to the little red area, your care is overheating. This generally means something has gone wrong with the fan blowing off the heat your engine produces or you are out of antifreeze so the radiator isn’t cooling off the engine correctly.

I’d definitely recommend pulling over and getting a tow to a shop. Since I’m too cheap to pay for a tow (I don’t have AAA and this car isn’t under warranty) I decided to drive to the repair shop.

I decided right away that I would prefer not to arrive at the shop with my car as a ball of flame. As amazingly cool as that would look on the road, I forgot to pack my heat suit. While I’m willing to light my hands on fire for a visual, I haven’t quite decided to light my whole body on fire.

Here’s what to do if you still need to drive a car that’s overheating. Open the vents, turn the heat all the way on and turn the fan all the way up. You may want to open the windows, it gets crazy hot in the car in the summer with hot air blowing full blast at your face.

You’ll definitely notice a bit of an odd smell. It’s the smell of the antifreeze boiling a bit and entering the air. It will stop soon, but that’s actually not such a good thing.

Ok, there’s my gem of wisdom for the day. In case you were wondering the car didn’t blow up, but with a $1,100 repair bill I almost wish it had J

Peace,

+Tom/Bob

Out Into the World

2006-08-28T15:18:00.000-04:00

At work I've worn a bunch of different hats. Besides the jester's cap, which I can't seem to shed, I am often wearing the "team leader" hat a lot. This generally means that I train and lead other people to do what I do, but better.

So far all of the people I have trained or led have since left either our team or the company. They're continuing to develop and I do get to talk to them regularly. Really I couldn't be happier for them.

I started wondering what it was that these people keep moving away. I'm starting to think there's something about me that makes that happen. In most cases it boils down to a lack of opportunities to grow on our team.

Some people train to keep the individuals within the team. We train with the idea that this person will eventually replace me. I'm beginning to realize that I may actually take a different approach. I care more about helping the individual grow as their own individual than I do about keeping that person within the team.

This means I'll have to train a whole lot more people at the same time. If I want to keep a successful team going then I need to be continually brining up new people to fill spots that keep opening up as we send people out into the world.

Right now I'm thinking that successful teams may actually e those which are constantly in flux. People are constantly growing and changing so the team needs to set them free or change accordingly.

The more I think about this the more problems I can see from this idea:

Keeping institutional knowledge is difficult
Getting a cohesive group of people that trust each-other is hard when the people keep changing
The amount of energy needed to get new people up to speed is difficult since we do it for so many people
Keeping the group focused on one goal instead of the goal of whoever the "new blood" is
I guess I'm going to just have to keep growing and learning myself.

Maybe I'll find people who don't like to keep trying new things, and then I'll just plug them in and be done with it. Knowing me it probably means I won't get along so well with them.

Can you tell that I'm a fan of change?

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

My Life as a Book

2006-08-24T14:13:00.000-04:00

I just returned from a very fun, emotional, enlightening and relaxing staff retreat for church. I have to say that we are very, very blessed to have such a diverse group of people who feel comfortable making their thoughts clear while having an open mind to pursue God’s will for our church.

During breakfast on the last day Rob laid down the bombshell on me. He simply said, “Since we’ve been on the retreat you haven’t read my blog yet, have you?” Of course this brings up the suspicious thoughts that only friends can bring about. Turns out Rob tagged me for a meme (something I generally don’t enjoy doing).

The topic is all about books. Mentioning some of the questions we actually had a very good discussion around the table about the questions.

This is exactly why I like getting together as a group to casually talk about whatever is on our minds. I learned more about the people in that 30 minutes then 2 hours of discussion can ever bring.

So, without further ado, here are my answers.

1. One book that changed your life: 1979 Book of Common Prayer. When we discussed this over breakfast we decided The Bible was a cop-out answer (so I saved it for a later one) and I had to really think. Going through books by Orson Scott Card, Terry Pratchett, Dean Koontz, Vernor Vinge, Dan Simmons and even some non sci-fi books (amazing, I know) I think the Prayer Book is the one. If it hasn’t changed my life, it’s at least been there during all of the big changes. It was part of my marriage, part of Rachel’s baptism (I was baptized Catholic), part of my confirmation and continues to be part of every Sunday of my life. It’s got some interesting stuff and great prayers. Not to mention it makes every Episcopal Church I visit feel familiar (St. Matthew’s is actually probably the least familiar, but still the best).

2. One book that you’ve read more than once: Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card. I’ve actually gone through the entire series twice and Ender’s Game a few times. This whole series brought me to recognize the connections we share with those around us, and where faith can fit in. As Kate recently mentioned regarding quantum physics, Orson shows a future where we can really harness the human potential.

3. One book you’d want on a desert island: The Bible. Yeah, it sounds hokey, but if I weren’t alone on a desert island I’d probably keep putting off reading it all the way through. I’ve gone through once in bits and spurts, but a solid reading would be nice… If only there weren’t so many other books out there to read.

4. One book that made you laugh: Another Fine Myth by Robert Aspirin. This book (and the whole series) is flat-out humor. If there’s anything to take away it’d be the magical threads which again hint at something more to this world that we can’t see but is ready for us to tap into.

5. One book that made you cry: Hyperion by Dan Simmons. The depth of the characters moved me so much that I’d have to put the book down at times. The story about Rachel brought me to sobs.

6. One book you wish had been written: The Secret Thing We All Share. Every time I think we humans are all pretty much the same deep down (wanting to be loved, having our own unique and perceived hurts and wanting to be treated as “normal”) other things pop up making me unsure of that. I want a definitive answer to make sure I’m not nuts, or to tell me where the core is in each of us that we do share (I know it’s there). This would probably have to be written by God I guess.

7. One book you wish had never been written: Sourcery by Terry Pratchett. This was the first book I read of the Discworld series and I can’t ever stop. I’ve read everything by Pratchett (and went quite broke buying his books in England when I was there for a semester) and can’t get enough. I’d have had a much more social life if it weren’t for the sheer number of books this one has gotten me to read.

8. One book you’re currently reading: Chazown by Craig Groeschel. It’s been over two months of picking up and putting this back down. It’s been a very thought-provoking look at God’s vision for my life. Not the job I should have, but my own gifts, mission statement and vision. I’ve given it to most of the graduating seniors at church.

9. One book you’ve been meaning to read: The Crystal City by Orson Scott Card. You’d think I loved Orson, and in some ways I do. But after meeting him it’s gotten a little harder to be quite so addicted. In any case I’ve had this on my shelf for two years, and at this point need to re-read the rest of the series.

10. Tag 5 others: Here you go! Jessica, Kate, Alex, Mason/Miriam (who I’ve recently found shares my love of the same types of books) and Cindy (Who has a new and adorable baby boy, check out the pictures!).

Christ vs. Christians

2006-08-19T20:40:00.000-04:00

I’ve heard it said a lot over the past year.

I Love Christ but I can’t stand Christians.

This has been said by both people I know and world-known leaders. I was reading notes by Tony Morgan about an interview with Bono during the Willow Creek Leadership Conference and he mentioned something similar.

[Bono]'s never had a problem with Christ, but Christians have been difficult for him. Christians seem strange to him. They can be very judgmental. They tend to judge people by surface problems.

Finally I began to understand the “I Love Christ but not Christians” statement.

This came even clearer when I read this entry by author Phyllis Reynolds about a Christian man who stole a book from the library because the child questioning their faith didn’t come around to Christianity in the end.

Why is it that Christians seem to be the most intolerant people I know? Why do we come to Christianity thinking that we’ll be safe there and that things won’t change or upset us?

Christ upset everyone he came in contact with. Where he went things changed. He certainly didn’t live safe, and neither did his disciples. Want to die by hanging upside down on a cross?

Then there’s the intolerance. Truly, what Christ intolerant? I’ve been listening to some talks with people related to the XXX church who are out ministering to porn stars. They have received threats, attacks and everything by, you guessed it, Christians.

I’ve finally figured out that people like this do exist around me. There was recently some discussion about moving a youth activity because of some drug activity that happens around the corner.

I’m not saying that I want our teens going and selling/buying drugs. At the same time some of them do have friends who are involved with drugs. I want them as far away as possible, but I also want them to love these people (kind of a clash, I know). I want all of us to not be afraid of the normal screw-ups around us.

I don’t want us running away from awkward situations. Honestly, I don’t even want us running away from some unsafe situations. How can we show non-Christians the beauty of what it means to be Christian by avoiding them?

I guess it’s a good thing I’m not the youth minister... huh?

Truthfully though, we have some absolutely amazing parents. They’ve recognized that the teens are not involved in the activity (I don’t think any of them have even seen or know it existed) and have decided to put a little control while still letting them stay.

I can’t ever explain how amazing these adults are. People so committed to kids that they’ll volunteer and help out even if they don’t come to our church and even when it doesn’t benefit their kids directly.

These people are the Christians I like to spend time with. They’re the people I strive to be.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

The Real D.C.

2006-08-17T08:59:00.000-04:00

In case you haven’t figured it out yet, I live relatively close to Washington, DC (about an hour outside). I also grew up in DC until I was 21, so I know the area relatively well. While I’m glad to have moved out and avoid going back unless I have to, I am often impressed by the sheer diversity between man and nature.

We have tons of art museums (almost all free), unique sculpture, parks (D.C. has the highest percentage of national parks of any city in the world), architecture and the national buildings which just seem to stir our emotions (like the Capitol and the White House).

I got pointed to the group blog Metroblogging D.C. by my friend Jessica. More interesting to me is their Metroblogging Washington D.C. Pool Flickr site where any random person can contribute their pictures of and around D.C. Having grown up in the city these photos are just fascinating. These are the pictures of the real city. Pictures from the park, clubs, Northeast, colleges, everything. If you want to see the real D.C. this is a great way to check it out.

In case you don’t know where something is (and they describe it) I’d be happy to take you there so we can check it out!

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Strange Things are Afoot

2006-08-16T16:36:00.001-04:00

Have you ever listened to a morning show on the radio and they talk about their Arbitron rated X number of listeners? In DC there’s the Jack Diamond Morning Show on Mix 107.3 which always boasts (sarcastically) an Arbitron rated 7 listeners. Maybe it’s more now; we stopped listening once we got XM.

I always wondered where this number came from, and what it meant. I know more than 7 people listen in the morning (especially after they added more songs to their repertoire (see how I can use repertoire in a sentence? Never mind that I misspelled it the first time). Unfortunately Wikipedia wasn’t any help this time around. So I’ll have to leave the mystery of the low number unsolved.

In any case I was changing the top banner for my blog and noticed the ClustrMaps Map for my site. I’m shocked not by where people are coming from, but the sheer number of people reading my blog… every day.

Up until a week ago I could have told you that I had three regular readers. Rob, Mason/Miriam and Jessica. Now, unless they really like what I say, I can’t imagine they visit my site at least 3 times a day each (on top of the 3 people who subscribe). All I know is that strange things are happening for me to have so many readers.

I’ve gotten so much support and people have come up to talk to me because of the changes coming my way and things I’ve discussed only in this blog. I am deeply touched by that, and I thank you all for welcoming me into a little bit of your life.

I don’t know that I give you all the same amount of knowledge, experience or emotion as I get from you, but I’m glad to know I get to share this life with you.

Thanks,
+Tom/Bob

Sticking With Tough Decisions

2006-08-10T22:26:00.000-04:00

I am planning on taking a sabbatical from youth group. This starts either now or beginning of September, depending on who you ask. Generally I am continuing some activities until September, and then stepping back from it entirely. After the sabbatical is over I may come back to youth ministry, but it won’t be as the youth minister and it will be a very different role than I’ve lived so far. I'll come back to a role that really plays more to my own strengths, and gives me time for my family.

I’ve recognized that my heart isn’t in youth ministry like it was. I still have a deep love for teens, and my heart is into them, but it’s not in the weekly planning/ownership/oversight like it once was, and it was pretty obvious even to those who aren’t very involved. This isn’t a big shock, and even some of the teens suspected it simply by watching.

Truthfully, the weight of this decision didn’t hit me very hard until tonight. I started telling people that I will not be coming to Starbucks after August for the Thursday night gathering. This brought some very strong emotions, from teens which I didn’t expect it and even a parent which really floored me. As I drove home it really sank in, I’m choosing to step away from something (and the people involved) that I love.

Okay, that’s not entirely true. It’s not my choice; God has made it clear that this is the right way to go for a while. He’s also made clear that it’s time for some change. It’s time for me to make these decisions and stick by them.

Up until tonight this decision felt somewhat easy. Intellectually I knew it may be hard, but it just wasn’t impacting me emotionally very much. In a lot of ways it just didn’t seem real. Thinking about it all now, this is one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make, and harder still to stick with.

Thankfully I do know that by sticking with this decision God is opening doors for our teens and youth ministry that wouldn’t be there if I stayed involved. He’s going to rock the joint, and I’m going to have the privilege to cheer from the sidelines.

My heart is beginning to ache, and tears may be around the corner (things that don’t happen too often with me). You know that heart ache, like when you find the person you thought you’d spend your life with just isn’t the right person? Or the ache when a close family member passes away? Or even that ache when you hear your parents are splitting up?

I feel like I’m becoming an emotional basket case for a while. I am excited for what is coming, and so glad for the blessings I’ve gotten to be part of the people’s lives. It helps a lot that I’m not leaving the church and still have this support group. At the same time I’m going to be somewhat introspective and enjoy the pain that comes from moving on.

I’m not too proud to say that God has done some amazing things with youth group, and I feel like He’s used me in some of that. So, if you see me off and reflective, I’m always accepting of a hug. If I seem quiet, I’m always looking for someone to share a conversation. In the end though, I’m likely going to enjoy the fact that I do feel so much pain from this decision. If it weren’t painful then it would mean that in last 4 years my heart hadn’t been touched.

Sometimes it’s easy to make tough decisions, but it’s a lot harder to stick with them. I’m so glad for the changes youth group has brought to my life and my family. Right now I’m going to enjoy a good cry. I’m sure I’ll have some to share if you’d like to join me.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Passion

2006-08-08T22:02:00.000-04:00

What are you passionate about?

Recently this question has come to the forefront of my mind. There’s no question that this goes along with my priorities. While your priorities give an idea to what your passions are, they don’t cover everything. I mean, what do you really get fired up about? What do you get upset about when you see other people brushing it away?

Recently I’m discovering that wile I love youth ministry, I’m incredibly passionate about it too. Notice though, it’s not a big priority for me, and honestly it’s been recommended that I take (and I greatly welcome) a sabbatical. Time off, and stepping back from the intense role I’ve had for the past 4 years sounds magnificent to me.

How can I be passionate about something I am excited to leave behind? I can’t really explain it. But I do know that I’ve made some incredible relationships with this youth group, and I truly think they have helped me grow as much, if not more than I’ve ever helped them.

What’s gotten me to recognize this passion? We are working on a recommendation to bring in The Riddle Group to help implement an evaluation they put together for us a few months ago. They had some unique, focused and really creative ideas for getting parents and teens involved in the life of the church and the community while growing their faith at the same time.

As with many decisions regarding money, you find a lot of differing opinions. Lots of confusion about what the money may go to and the different priorities individuals hold dear.

We’re having a vote soon to decide whether to bring The Riddle Group on. I’m a bit nervous about this, since it’s going to be a very clear expression of how others view my passion. It’s not a black or white decision, where we decide to spend our money (and where we don’t) shows what the community holds close.

While this one decision would not ever make me want to leave the church, I don’t think any one decision should be a reason to leave… It will certainly let me know the importance of youth ministry.

As of late I’ve been thinking about what I’ll say regarding all of this. Truthfully it will probably go something like this…

Actually, after writing it down I realized that I’m already on a bit of a tirade (or rant to stick with Web terms) and the last statement really isn’t well suited to the broad community. So, I’m leaving it off.

All I can ask from you right now is your prayers and support. I truly feel God leading one way, please pray to support the church in god’s plan for it (whether it’s what I see as right or to help me recognize that I am incorrect).

In any case, I can tell you that I love the passion I feel for the youth both within and outside of St. Matthew's. I'm glad God has blessed me enough to let me share my life with them.

What are you passionate about? What get's your blood boiling?

Passion (not peace),
+Tom/Bob

Experiential Storytelling

2006-08-01T15:09:00.000-04:00

I’ve recently finished the book Experiential Storytelling (Re)Discovering Narrative to Communicate God’s Message by Mark Miller. This was a great book which has really gotten me to rethinking how to teach others. So often we think people want to hear what we have to say, really they want to do what we’ve done. We learn best by doing and taking part, instead of being lectured to.

Oddly I got through this entire book and grasped the Storytelling part without the Experiential piece clicking. It wasn’t until this past Sunday’s gospel reading that I finally understood how telling a story should be an experience for all involved.

Last Sunday we used Group’s curriculum for Vacation Bible School Fiesta! to tell the gospel reading. The congregation were the waves and the fish (after we figured out we were supposed to be fish there were some pretty funny fish faces). Others came from the congregation to be “actors” playing out the story as Bill read it. Truthfully, this was one of the most effective ways I’ve heard/experienced the story of laying down our nets, leaving our homes and giving up everything to follow Christ.

Rob’s display about needing to trust was pretty darned good too. It was all a big experience which is sticking with me days later. No offense to Rob (or the other 5 sermons I listen to a week), but I often forget even the one main point by the next day.

I wrote a newsletter article focusing exclusively on the storytelling piece. Talking about Rachel’s life and the ways she has grown based on a community which gives of themselves without asking for anything in return. My hope was that people would relate to either Rachel’s life, or the life of the community around her. I certainly relate to Rachel, my walk in faith has followed her growth from innocents and ignorance to have a lot of support by those around me, without me being able to give much back besides a smile and the love I have for people.

The biggest thing I had to get over in switching to a story instead of my thoughts for the day, was to trust that the person reading would be moved in their own way. 5 times (both at the beginning and the end) I wanted to add a statement like “Where do you see yourself in this story” but I refrained.

Mark states:

...pray and ask God to help us to trust those attending our gathering. Trust that they can understand Scripture more clearly and better retain what they have learned when they’re allowed the think for themselves.

This is still hard for me. I want to ask if I can edit the article to help the reader understand what I want to say. I guess I’ll find out in a few weeks if the message was understood, or if I need to go back to the drawing board.

In any case, watching a group of 200 people, from preschool through adult retirement taking part, laughing and being a part of a story finally made me realize how important experience is in learning the story.

If you’d like to borrow it, you’re welcome to my copy. But for about $9.90 from Books-A-Million, I’d recommend supporting the author.

I’m excited to refine this. I wonder how else telling (and recreating) stories can let people know what we’re thinking more than statements are able.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Unrecognized Friends

2006-07-31T10:19:00.000-04:00

Have you ever had something happen to you that made you recognize someone is your friend when you didn’t already know it?

I talk to a lot of people on a regular basis, at work, church and neighbors. While I do care about all of them, and think about them often, I’m wouldn’t call everyone a good friend. They are more acquaintances or people that I wouldn’t necessarily confide in.

Recently I had a dream that someone I know returned home from a pretty long trip she’s been on. I was really glad to see her, and wanted to hear everything about the trip, especially all of the exciting thing’s she’s experienced.

This dream made me realize that I have missed having her around, and that I actually do consider her a good friend. Sometimes God just lets me know that there are more people than we realize who we can rely on. This is a really great feeling that I wish everyone gets to experience.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Amazon Sells Everything

2006-07-30T13:14:00.000-04:00

This is craziness. I love shopping Amazon for anything besides books (I go to www.bam.com for those). I’m always amazed ate shops the open. But with their newest store I’m convinced, Amazon is planning to sell the world.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

What Do You Remember About Me?

2006-07-25T15:57:00.000-04:00

I was at Starbucks a few weeks ago talking to two of the youth from youth group. We were talking about the seniors who are going off to college, and what we would remember most about each of them. This led to a discussion focused on ourselves. We asked each-other:

”What will you remember about me?”

A whole lot of different things came up as answers. It’s hard to be right on the spot and give an honest answer to someone about what will stick in your mind when you think of them. I mean, do you really say “you’re breath” if they have bad breath (thankfully none of our teens do, that I know of)?

About two weeks after this discussion Maddie, one of the teens, finally came up with something she would remember about me. I think it was something about eating a lot of popcorn at movie night.

Truthfully though, what are you remembered for? What the heck am I remembered for?

What have I really done that has impacted someone’s life so much that they will remember it forever? Was it a good impact that I made?

I know that I have made an impact in the lives of those around me. If I ever doubted it, a recent report by The Riddle Group who came to evaluate our youth ministry (plus the amazing volunteers and parents in our church) made pretty clear what I could do well… and what I didn’t.

Apparently, and I was as shocked to learn this as anyone I’m sure, I am not all things to all people. Go figure.

Anyway, even knowing that I’ve made a difference in some peoples’ lives doesn’t seem to be enough for me. I’m learning more and more that I’m here to help people outside the church, we all are.

So, what are you remembered for? What stands out in your memory of me? What will the stranger on the street remember us for?

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Being Natural

2006-07-25T14:28:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago I accidentally left the last Fiction book I have to read. So, I’ve turned to finally catching up on some of the non-fiction books that have been collecting dust for months (or over a year in some cases).

I’ve recently finished up The Coffeehouse Gospel by Matthew Paul Turner recently and found it to be ok, but not great. I was hoping for some real examples on ways to share faith with others and some advice on how to move past the initial fear on how to strike up conversation.

There are some good points, especially around the evaluation of what you know and how to find a commonality with someone else you’re talking to, but it just didn’t quite give me a real guide on how to meet a stranger in a coffeehouse (or elsewhere) and really begin a conversation. A lot of his coffeehouse examples were based on conversations he overheard instead of initiated.

One section really did stick with me though. Matthew writes:

” [Jesus’] entire three-and-a-half-year earthly experience in ministry was spent seeking to save the lost.

“I’ve begin praying that God would allow me to feel a fraction of the pain He feels for those who resist Him. I prayed this prayer not because I’m a glutton for punishment; I’ve simply realized that sometimes I have found myself to be so cold toward non-Christians… I simply don’t feel the weight of the void in their lives. I so often go through my day without thinking one selfless thought about the eternal value of others.”

He continues on with this closing story which resonated pretty closely with me.

Remember Carolyn, the lesbian I met at Starbucks? She taught me something about sharing my faith. When she told me her story, she doused her conversation with the fact that she was a lesbian. It wasn’t extreme, just enough for me to understand what she was really passionate about, what made her tick. Shouldn’t our ability to share our love for Jesus be the same? Natural? Poignant? Like breathing? So many times, our attempts to be evangelical seem calculated, stiff, and abnormal. It doesn’t have to be that way.

At church we had a “competition” to see which soda was better, Coke or Pepsi. People brought in both Coke and Pepsi products for three weeks and stacked them up. Now we bring out those cold sodas to people across the park, handing them out without forcing the gospel on them, simply as a gift of our love for them, just as God loves them.

As a side, the winner was Coke, of course, by almost 420 cans!

What I’ve learned from this book is that I need to really be passionate about church, God and the lives of others around me. I tend to focus inward, talking about God with those who already know Him. When I go hand out sodas this week (my first time) I really want to let my passion for God flow through me, and be part of a natural conversation, without pressure or sounding calculated.

Care to join me?

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Sporadic Blogging/I'm a Genius

2006-07-18T21:30:00.000-04:00

Kem Mayer is the communications directory at Granger Community Church. Today she posted this blog entry which I actually really agree with.

As Kem (and really her friend Jason) mentioned:

The blogosphere doubles in size every 6 months and cutting through the clutter is more difficult with daily posts.
Traffic doesn't make a blog successful, engaging your audience (which may be narrow and focused) does.
Loyal readers remain loyal because they subscribe to your blog, not because you post frequently.
The pressure of frequent posting has the potential to drive poor content quality.
Frequent posting could push corporate bloggers into the hands of PR agencies. That decreases authenticity and creditability.
So, there it happened--in an instant--I went from amateur blogger to strategic blogging genius. In an instant. From zero to hero. Jason, you're swell. Read the full article.

I’ll ride on their wave and consider myself as becoming a blogging genius as well. Now if only I can get even select people interested in what I write.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

BMW

2006-07-17T14:15:00.000-04:00

While I was on vacation last week I had to drive my brother and niece over to the hotel for the evening. We were short on cars (I don’t quite remember where mine was) so I ended up driving my cousin’s BMW. I am pretty sure it was a 750, but truly I am so un-interested in cars it’s hard to tell. I base my guess on the fact that the car is around $70,000. Yeah, talk about ridiculous expensive.

I got to drive around the winding back-roads of Shelton, CT to bring them to the hotel and back. Thank goodness it had a navigation system, since I keep trying other routes I think will be faster and end up getting hopelessly lost.

BMW advertises that driving one of their cars you know you’re on the road and in control. I’d definitely have to agree. I haven’t been in any other car where I could make a complete U-Turn on a two-lane road without backing up or swinging over the edge (I did mention getting lost, didn’t I)? I also felt every bump, groove and curve in the road. It was kind of exhilarating in a “glad I don’t do this all the time” sort of way.

While the navigation system was kind of confusing, turning the thing on was the worst. I think I lost bets as to how long it would take me to figure out.

It has a cool “Start” button on the dashboard. So, I get in the car and push it… Nothing. Anyone know what I was doing wrong?

Here's a picture of the dashboard, can you figure it out now?

Turns out that while it has a cool button and all, you still have to push the key fob into a rectangular hole then press start. Took my brother and I 5 minutes to figure that out. Don’t get me started on turning it off, took me forever to figure out the door had to be open to pull the key fob out again.

My final take on it, it’s cool to drive somewhat fast (45 – 55) on winding roads where you should probably go 25 – 30. I definitely understand why people driving those cars tend to go quickly, while you know how fast you’re going (it just feels fast all the time) you also feel like you can do anything.

Sometimes life even feels like this. Like we’re completely in control and know what’s going on. Life is moving so fast and we can navigate everything. We just feel great.

At the same time that things go so well we seem to have a difficult start/stop process that keeps people out who aren’t part of our crowd. When things are good I definitely feel like I don’t want to hear about someone else’s troubles. Everything is right with the world, so don’t ruin my reality. I’m so busy that I can’t possibly slow down to help you out.

In any case, I now think you should drive a high-performance car once in your life, just for the experience. Don’t buy one, that’s craziness, but if you can, give it a drive and see how the other half lives (at $70K, that’s definitely some half I’m not part of, what I could do with that much money).

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Time Off

2006-07-17T09:01:00.000-04:00

In the past, when I take a hiatus from blogging I tend to simply ignore it and move on. I generally don’t even mention that I took a break. It’s been over a month this time, and I wanted to explain quickly why I take these unannounced “breaks”.

I have a couple of priorities in life. They are:

1. God
2. Family
3. Friends
4. Everything else (including blogging, church and work)

So, if I go missing it’s generally because I firmly believe that living life is more important that writing about it. Living in the world will change lives faster than living online.

I’ve had family in town two weeks ago, lots of church activities along with trying to find my own focus and vision for youth group, church and work.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a bunch of different ideas which I’ll write about soon (including driving a $70,000 BMW, awesome craziness I tell you). But if I drop off the face of the Internet, just know that it means I’ve dropped onto the face of the World. I’m doing very well, even if there are more personal struggles. All in all, it’s a good thing.

I hope you’ve all been well. I have missed writing, but life has taken control, and I’ll have some great photo galleries up soon from family events.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Songs in the Key of Summer

2006-06-23T12:37:00.000-04:00

At church we’re working on a new sermon series for the summer (ok, we’ve been working on it for over a month). One of the things I’m generally tasked to do for a series is to put together a graphic making it “interesting”. Of course, what I find interesting or catchy sure doesn’t mesh with everyone.

So, I’m turning to the general public (or the public that ready my blog anyway). Here’s what we’ve (I loosely include my wife in the We) come up with so far. If you’d be so kind, please let me know what you think and what you’d change.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

The Time Machine

2006-06-14T09:19:00.000-04:00

It was completely by accident, but I stumbled across the creation of a time machine. It is in its very early form and has some sever limitations, but I am convinced I’ve created the world’s first machine which will warp time. Amazingly, it can all be done using absolutely no electricity at all.

I love to be open about my ideas and inventions. Here is how I made this invention, and even what you can do to make your very own. Hopefully you’ll be able to refine it so that people can jump forward and backward through time.

Process:
Here is what you need:

One room. This can be any sized, but needs to have all windows covered and allow little external noise. A bed-room is ideal.

One clock. This will show you just how slowly time moves from minute to minute.

Carpeted floor. This is my preference. I believe time can be slowed even more by a wooden floor.

One crib. Again, this is not a requirement. But you need something for a child to sleep on.

One baby. This may be the hardest to procure. Parents are, of course, ahead of the game here. I have heard that e-bay no longer sells children, but possibly purchasing a mail-order bride will help. Another option is to borrow a friend’s infant, they’ll be glad to hand the child over and will often give you all of the above items as well.

The primary purpose of our time experiment is not to warp time itself. You must be focused on getting the baby to go to sleep. You’ll take the baby to its room and proceed to try to get it to sleep.

You can accomplish this in any way. Generally listening to advice from the parents does not work. This is because a child knows you are not the child’s parent and will behave far better and be very accommodating to you. Referencing observations, this has the negative result that the time warp effect will not last long. The effect seems to last only until the baby lays down asleep in its crib.

Observations:
This effect does work for both yourself and people outside of the room. When you leave, others in the house will invariably say something like, “boy, that took forever” or “must have been rough”.

The time warp effect is best completed when you have other things to accomplish in the day. It seems that the more you need to do after getting the child to sleep, the slower time will go and the longer the effect will last.

If the child falls asleep on your shoulder while you are standing, but will wake up as soon as you lay it down, consider yourself very lucky, the warping effect may last for hours at this point.

Limitations:
The effect seems specific to the room I am in. Once I leave the room, time returns to normal. This means it only traverses time, not time and space.

A baby that should be sleeping is necessary. This often limits the times of day you can use the machine.

By far the largest limitation is that you can’t do anything during the time warp effect. You can not check e-mail, read or even listen to much music. If you try the baby will often get in the way and stop whatever you are doing.

Conclusion:
This effect works for both the person in the room and people outside of the room. The statements made by observers clearly showed that while time seemed to slow for you, it raced along in the outside world.

Also, as the days go by and the child seems unwilling to sleep, the time slow-down effect gets greater and greater. I suspect a similar effect occurs within schools around the country. Further research should be done to see if students already benefit from this effect.

In case you have any doubts, my wife and I are willing to let you test my hypothesis. We will provide the room, clock, carpeted floor (more comfortable to lie on when banging your hands against it) crib and baby.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Visions

2006-06-09T11:27:00.000-04:00

Tony Morgan from Granger Community Church has been working his way through the bible and offering his own observations. He took this (among others) away from Ephesians:

"God can do anything, you know--far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!" My vision is never too big for God.

Seemed appropriate at this point in my life, both personally and with our plan to add a new service and make them all better than they currently are. We should be bringing thousands to Christ, it’s time to realize God has grander ideas than even that.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Compliments from Strangers

2006-06-06T22:29:00.000-04:00

A week and a half ago I got relatively sick. I was thinking it was hoof and mouth disease (sorry, hand, foot and mouth, easy mistake, hehe) since Rachel got it. It also seemed that Erin had it, so it only made sense. It doesn’t help that Erin, Rachel and I all share everything even when she’s sick.

So, a week later I’m worse than ever while everyone else is fine. Definitely not fair.

I bowed to peer pressure Saturday and went to the urgent care center (it took my doctor 3 hours to call back from my page, needless to say I don’t feel bad looking for a new doctor). The doctor diagnosed me with strep and I was given a great prescription which has definitely helped.

While I was at the urgent care facility the doctor looked at my chart around the middle and asked me if I was 31. He said I looked a lot younger. That got me to thinking about comments we get from strangers.

The doctor had no reason to say it, which made me hear it as a fact (it may have even helped that he was a doctor). When a friend pays us a compliment, we hear it more as an opinion. Needless to say, it made me feel pretty good when a stranger said it.

It’s pretty easy to compliment someone we know. We do it because we want to make them feel good, but also because we recognize those qualities which make them great.

It’s harder to compliment a stranger, but when we do, that person appreciates it a lot. They’ll often think of the compliment even days later. It’s been three days and I’m still thinking about what the doctor said.

So, when is the last time you complimented someone you’ve only just met? The check-out person at the grocery store, or that server at the restaurant? A simple thank you can make someone’s day. Letting them know just specifically why you appreciate what they did (and what made them stand out) will brighten their week. Why don’t we do it more often?

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Why?

2006-06-05T22:18:00.000-04:00

Tonight was one of those milestones in your child’s life which definitely needs to be remembered. Tonight Rachel asked the big question, Why? Every answer I gave her got another Why?

Now, I’m sure you’ll think I’m going to say something deep like… It got me to wondering, why don’t we look at the world and just ask “Why?” Why do I work at a place where I don’t make a difference? Why do I accept Jesus in my life? Why do I love leading people? You’d be wrong.

After just 10 minutes of it, I’d recommend not asking Why.

Ok, maybe that’s not completely true. But people who give advice on asking “Why” really don’t have any kids. Hearing that questions 20 times in a row does give you hope that she’s looking with wonder at the world, but it also can drive you to drink.

Truly though, it was a really neat night. I love when she does something new, and it seems like most of the new things she does are pretty big. She’s just smart and athletic all over. I’m told I should enter her in dance, but I think gymnastics will be her first class.

In any case, it does make sense to look at this world and ask the questions no one else is asking. Why isn’t my elbow double hinged? Why do I only get two opposable thumbs? Why aren’t I doing something that changes the world every day? Most importantly, why am I so blessed to have such an incredible daughter, wife, friends and family around to support me?

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Seussical

2006-06-02T23:05:00.000-04:00

Our church has been interviewing different people for a full time youth minister position (if you happen to know of anyone, please I’d love to meet them). Right now Steve is visiting us and asked me an interesting question last night, “What do the teens do with their free time outside of school?” We asked a bunch of the teens and had answers ranging from swimming to dance to playing video games to mountain biking. The reality is that they have so many activities outside of school that I am constantly competing to get them to show up to youth activities.

If he were to ask me that question right now, I would have a much better answer. Outside of school each and every one of these teens are doing amazing things with their lives.

I just got home from seeing Seussical at Potomac Falls High School. I am constantly amazed at how talented people are.

Two of the teens I knew we re in the play. Stephen had a supporting role as the Grinch and one of three monkeys (quite appropriate if you know Stephen ). Briana (I found out when I recognized her) is in the dance chorus. While she didn’t sing very much, she was an incredible dancer (something I learned about her just two weeks earlier). This was easily the best play I’ve seen teenagers put on in the past few years.

Over the past 4 years I have gotten to see three middle school plays (with anywhere from 30 – 60 kids) and two high school plays. They were all great in one way or another. I liked the middle school plays mainly because I knew at least 5 to 10 teens that were in it. But the high school plays just knock your socks off.

While almost everyone had a great voice, The Cat in the Hat (Tali), Jojo (Paige) and Gertrude (Lara) were just incredible. I actually got goose bumps listening to Jojo and Horton sing “Alone in the Universe”. All around it was a great play.

Every one of us has some amazing gifts. I just love getting the chance to watch them exercise those gifts for the world. So, the next time someone asks me what my youth group does outside of school, the answer is easy.

They are making a difference in our world. They’re making us laugh, making us cry, and making us have hope for the future.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Multitasking

2006-06-01T09:36:00.000-04:00

I used to think I was good at multitasking. I could talk to someone on IM and still get a lot of work done. Well, I have definitely found one thing I can’t do at the same time.

I don’t think it’s possible for me to prepare for two completely different talks within the same week and keep them straight. So, for all those that were at bible study last night, I apologize for being scattered to the four winds and mixing up topics.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Caving Update

2006-05-26T20:49:00.001-04:00

I received a comment asking where we went caving (spelunking, whatever). Since this is the first comment from someone I don't know, I figured it definitel ydeserved a response. This is also giving me the push the create the flikr photo gallery which you'll find linked on the right.

I don't have a ton of details, we had a great guide from a spelunking club, Mr. Johnson. Here is what I do know.

We went to Jones Quarry in Berkeley County, WV. the cave is gated and you need to get access from the owner of the land, there's actually a man who oversees the access and giving out keys.

The area was great. We had a porta-potty (not the best, but at least it was something) and there was pretty easy access into the cave (we had a rope to pull us up the side of the hill).

I would definitely recommend checking it out. Here are some links I've found referring to Jones Quarry (you'll need to search on it in the page). Otherwise I can check with Mr. Johnson for more details.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Perspective on Perspectives – Lawn Care Service

2006-05-26T20:49:00.000-04:00

The way we see the world affects our position within it.

It’s taken a while, with a couple false starts, but I’m finally found the best lawn care service provider in our area. They got out of their way to be accommodating to our schedule. They fertilize the way I prefer to have it done (twice a year at most), they aerate and the mow every week. They even work around our weekend events so that if we’re having people over for a party on Saturday the lawn will be mowed on Wednesday so there aren’t a lot of extra grass clippings for the event.

Rachel loves watching them work, seeing the mower go back and forth. The lawn technician (I love the fancy industry names) will even wave each time he goes by. She eats it all up. This service is so good even their spouse and kid will sometimes come out and sit on the porch to talk and watch.

They’re even relatively inexpensive. I do need to provide all of the equipment and gas, as well as fertilizer and seed when they spread. It’s a small price to pay for the exceptional service we receive. The grass is always cut the way I’d like (now that’s attention to detail) and there are often times we’ll even welcome the technician in for some sweet tea or soda afterward.

The way we see the world affects our position within it.

Two years ago we had the same lawn care service, and it wasn’t nearly as good. They had to use our push mower for the whole yard (and it wasn’t self-propelled), so maybe that was part of it. The lawn didn’t get mowed as often, and we never had the fertilizing/seeding/aerating done. You just knew that our “technician” wasn’t incredibly happy to be out there on hot summer days mowing my lawn. He’d much rather be sitting inside, sipping some tea and watching the world go by.

We even switched to a different lawn service for one summer, having a teenager down the street mow (It helped that our lawn mower died at the beginning of the summer). He was definitely more expensive, and never edged the grass by the fence.

So, last year we switched back, and it’s as though we’re working with a completely different service, even though we have the same two lawn technicians coming out to mow each week. I’m so happy we switched back.

This year we called a bunch of other companies, to check on fertilizing, seeding and aerating. They were pretty expensive, so we decided to stick with our current plan and avoid those “expensive” lawn care providers; though I’m sure they were very capable.

Unfortunately I can’t really recommend this service. So far as I know, they only do very select lawns. You have to know somebody who knows somebody to even talk to these guys about lawn care. Even then it’s like pulling teeth to convince them to mow your yard. That’s mainly because they mow only as a side business, so they just don’t have time to service too many lawns. When I think about it, I’m pretty sure they just do our lawn, helping some other people every now and then. Crazy business model I know, but it keeps me coming back to them!

The way we see the world affects our position within it.

My outlook on mowing the lawn used to be one of disdain and upset that it would take time away from family or friends. Now I actually care about the lawn, that it looks nice and green, and that it takes very little work to make that actually happen.

Scott’s, Washington checkbook and Consumer Reports have given me great advice on how to really care for the lawn. It’s really pretty easy to do.

As I continue to scale back wherever I can, I’ve been really focusing on my lawn. It feels good to watch it grow and know that it is healthy. Taking care of my lawn is now a joy simply because my outlook on the process has changed. It’s stopped being a chore and has become something to enjoy.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Decisiveness

2006-05-24T21:40:00.000-04:00

We’re considered to be in a Postmodern Era. I’ve found a lot of different definitions for this age. It covers anything from individual opinions to the age after classical art has ended.

What is agreed on about Postmodernism is in how we act with one-another.

Today people are encouraged to accept everyone around them, regardless of their faults. We all have our own opinions on a given topic. I’m entitled to my opinion and you’re entitled to yours. I accept you for who you are, and I understand where you’re coming from in your opinion.

I think this acceptance of one-another is great in some ways. I also think this brings about some deep problems in our lives and with us as a society.

How many times have you seen some rule come up that just seems like common sense? How often have you been told that you can’t do something for one person since you’d have to do the same thing for everyone else?

Often in talking to someone they will say something I disagree with, and I’ll just respond that I understand where they are coming from. I don’t disagree openly with the person, even though I really do think they are wrong. We’re too worried about offending someone to let them know what we really think and feel.

I think this does hurt our own ability to be open with others. We lose to chance to be ourselves and talk about our feelings and beliefs even with friends.

When Erin’s parents are over, especially her mom, I tend to avoid talking about church as much as possible. This is something which takes up easily 25% of my week (probably more if I thought about it). I shy away from talking about it since I really think it may offend her. We just try so hard to avoid offending someone today, because we equate offending someone with not accepting them for who they are.

Think about the last time you went to dinner with someone, or a group of people. How long did it take you to decide where to go? Have you ever said the line “I don’t know, where do you want to go?” We go to dinner every Friday and Saturday night with Erin’s parents, and every time at least 10 to 15 minutes goes into the “what are you in the mood for? I don’t know, what are you in the mood for?” conversation. After that we name say, five different restaurants, and start the conversation all over, narrowed down to our five choices. It’s not always that bad… But it does happen a lot.

I think we do this because we are too worried about offending the person we’re talking to. We don’t want to specify a place because we’re worried that decision will not be some place the other person likes, and so we create a rift between us.

Instead of making a decision, we stick with indecisiveness.

Instead of offending someone, we never let ourselves be honest.

Sometime in high school I realized why I should be decisive, and I made decisions left and right. I would always suggest one place, if someone didn’t like it they could suggest another. After their suggestion I’d accept it and we’d move on. Sometime after high school I lost that.

I still offend people because of my openness and, honestly, my bluntness. At the same time I worry a lot about whether I’m offending someone. I try to make everyone happy, which of course is impossible.

Now is the time for me to reclaim that decisiveness. Get opinions and propose a solution. Let someone disagree with the solution, but at least there is one out there.

In this world there really is a right and a wrong. There really is a man called Jesus who loves us and forgives us from our sins. He’ll still ask us to do things we don’t want to do. He’s accepted that if that request causes a rift between us, He still loves me and is waiting for me to realize that there really isn’t a “rift” other than what I created.

It’s time to tell people what we think. There’s no other way that we’ll really move forward in this world.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Training

2006-05-24T18:43:00.000-04:00

Erin and I are currently in a training class from Microsoft on some of their new technologies. The class is somewhat interesting, though currently I don’t see our company purchasing and administering the software for us to actually use some of this stuff.

Right now we’re listening to a lot of details about a product that is really interesting, and is something we definitely need to know about. It also helps that the trainer is pretty good.

To top it all off, I have power so I can actually do some development on this project while being in the training.

I used to think that sitting in the office with the door closed was the best way to concentrate and get some work done. I was definitely wrong on that front.

The way to get a lot of straight development done is to sit in training with a power cord and no Internet access. I’ve been working on this project for almost two hours straight, and made a bit of headway. To top it all off, I am grabbing some interesting tidbits about the tool I’m developing with.

I’ve got to say, I love training!

This really goes back to how more and more people seem to live today. We don’t really do any one thing. When we’re driving or walking, we have music or Podcasts in the background. When we’re on the phone I’ll often go around cleaning the house or doing something else mindless. Even in work meetings most of us will continue to check e-mail and IM. Heck, have you looked at many teenagers today? Even as you talk to them, they’ll have headphones on and listen to music at the same time.

Have we gotten to the point in our life where we need something going on in the background?

I know that while I work, if there is no music or any other “distractions” I will check my e-mail almost every 15 minutes. If it’s not e-mail I’ll start thinking that I should check for updates to software. If not that I’ll work on the youth minister search.

My brain doesn’t seem to follow a single line of thought; instead I have a jumble of things going on all at the same time. Everything is vying to be the “most important thought of the moment” (Hmm, I like the idea of having a MITOTM). Once the moment is gone, it’s time for another thought. It’s become so hard to focus on one thing without giving my mind some background noise.

Am I alone in this?

Peace,
Tom/Bob

Deep Thoughts - Church Attendance

2006-05-22T22:06:00.000-04:00

Lately I’ve been going to conferences, reading marketing materials and reading church blogs to find ways to bring people into a relationship with Christ. My friend (ok, he’s my priest too) Rob sent over a this link by the Assistant Village Idiot (I LOVE this name by the way. Here was my initial take.

I’d agree with the idea that they tend to be dabblers, though I also think people are curious to learn more. That might be why I am not so excited when listening to Mark Batterson’s sermons while I do like Erwin McManus’. Erwin’s seem to come with a challenge and assumption to learn more. At the same time, I don’t really think I’m “learning” much from either.

I’ve been thinking a lot about that and “numbers” in church. I think some of the big churches:

Meet a need that the community desires (likes coffee, wants to be entertained, wants to meet people, needs a vacation from kids etc.)

Tell them that they are loved and accepted for who they are, no strings attached

Give a flashy show or interesting talk without a lot of depth

The real question is: what should a Sunday sermon be? Is the purpose really to delve deeply into the bible (which it seems the Assistant Village Idiot is suggesting) or is it to get people wanting more? These churches focus on Sunday morning being the big “marketing weekend” as Ed Young said. After that they are plugged into groups which should be deepening their faith through bible studies and such.

This is the goal of Creation as well. Main stage talks which make you feel good, smaller side talks which go a little deeper (though still working on making you feel welcome, giving some challenges as well).

The scripture is a little bit lost in this focus of brining people in. A passage or two are mentioned, but the interpretation is definitely lighter than many people who have gone to church for years would want or need. I mean, how many times do you really want to hear the parable of the mustard seed discussed? Where are the stories from the Old Testament or the focus outside of the gospels?

The question is, where’s your focus? Back to the purpose of Sunday morning. Is it to bring in new faces, or are we keeping the deeper believers satisfied? I doubt it’s easy to do both.

I firmly believe that churches like Granger or Willow will bring in people on Sunday’s. Those people will find a community they like and then begin volunteering and taking part. As they volunteer to help Sunday services they also bring friends. These people who stick around will go to bible studies to deepen faith. Eventually they will lead bible studies and other talks, further deepening their experience. That being said, I think more people attend the small groups and begin leading groups that fit their interest (new mothers, marriage, singles, etc…) and aren’t quite as interesting in figuring out what more there is. They are volunteering, they are furthering God’s message, and they are giving of their money, so (according to Sunday mornings) they must be doing it right.

Of course, these are raw, barely reflected on thoughts. So any comments pointing out ways I could be smarter are greatly appreciated.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

History

2006-05-17T22:16:00.000-04:00

A few months back I mentioned finding an old girlfriend of mine on MySpace. It also talked about how weird it was to be able to look at her life without actually getting involved.

I’d toyed with the idea of e-mailing her, but just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I guess I wasn’t sure how she’d react and what I’d even say.

Well, yesterday she apparently found me and shot me an e-mail. It brought back a flood of those old memories once again.

Have you ever walked down the street and smelled a certain perfume on a person or a scent in the air, and your mind just floods with memories as real as if they just happened yesterday? Lately I’ve been going through a lot of those types of experiences.

I went downtown two weeks ago to the Buzz Conference at Union Station. In high school I spent a bit of time there, just walking around and letting the days go by, enjoying a limeade (that place as since closed) and simply watching people. It helped that I also got to walk across the mall and through some trees back home.

Being there got me thinking about my whole life in DC. Thoughts about my old job, thoughts about friends and relationships I had and family memories.

Having Kelly e-mail me has brought back up a lot of those thoughts as well. Kelly was one of those good relationships which I did think may end with us getting married. There was some age difference, and my friends didn’t particularly like her, but we really connected, without a lot of physical pressures.

I have been listening to Mark Batterson’s sermons from the National Community Church. In his So Far So God (1 or 2) sermon, he mentions that we really need to be thankful for the prayers that God doesn’t answer. Possibly more thankful for those than for the prayers he really does answer.

Growing up I’ve come to recognize that I would have only held Kelly back from the amazing life she wants to live. I could never have been very good at handling her acting life. I like being settled, and I know she is content to let the world flow and move along for the ride. While I appreciate that, and sometimes envy it, I like the solid community I have, and the satisfaction that comes from having such great people near me all the time. Living in New York would never have suited me, and she would never have been content in suburbia.

God knows what he’s doing, even if I don’t entirely understand. He has so blessed me with a wonderful daughter and amazing wife. He’s also guided my life toward supporting him and spreading His great message to those people who haven’t heard it yet.

All of these thoughts have been bringing back the memory of one of my best friends through middle and high school. I haven’t talked to Geoff in years, and I still have some hurts that go with that friendship. As with Kelly, I wonder if he’d want to hear from me, and what we would say. But, maybe those are just excuses.

I may have some weird gifts, but here’s one that I love more than anything. After years away from someone, without talking or any contact, I can connect with someone as though not a day has passed.

I love that. I am really hoping that connection will work with Kelly, and with Geoff once I finally decide to reconnect.

Who is it in your past that you’d really love to find out about? What’s stopping you from trying to reconnect with them?

I have no idea how this will all turn out. I’m just glad that I have the chance to see how their lives have changed, and the amazing things they have done.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Being My Own Best Friend

2006-05-16T11:40:00.000-04:00

Anyone who has known me for a while has heard me steal the line from Spaceballs “I’m my own best friend”.

Barf says a bit more than that, he says “I’m a Mog. I’m half man, half dog. I’m my own best friend.” It just doesn’t seem to fit if I say all of that, but you do have to be impressed that I can remember that from 15 years ago (though I did watch it all day for a week in a row). Hint there, if you want to get me a present, pick up the Spaceballs Deluxe edition for me.

Anyway, I was doing my monthly MySpace checkup. I go in, see what comments I have, updated blogs, friend requests and such and give a quick reply.

I was looking at my own comments and figured I should add one in there. So I go and click “Add Comment” and get this message:

Well, apparently I was wrong; I really am not my own best friend.

Heck, from the first six words I have no friends at all. Boy, I can’t even change my top 8 friends. It just goes to show that apparently MySpace doesn’t know everything.

I’m sure there’s a message in there, and it’s teasing my brain for tomorrow night’s talk.

As for now I think I’ll go enjoy some time with my best friend. I may even let my wife come.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Mother’s Day

2006-05-14T22:28:00.000-04:00

Well, as you may know, today is Mother’s day. Now, I was a great husband and let my wife take a nap while I mowed and grocery shopped. Ok, no card, no flowers, I’m the worst husband ever. Thankfully I have parents who sent my wife flowers. At least I called my mom and stepmother and had Rachel talk to them :)

Here’s what will really stick with me from today… I heard the best mother’s day sermon I have ever heard.

Our seminarian Ann did the sermon and just changed things up a bit, which created for a great message. She and another woman worked together and recited letters between a mother and her daughter.

When it started I thought she may have taken it from another sermon or story. It became clear though, that this was originally done by Ann and Martha. They composed something so moving, I found myself tearing up. I really did feel like it would be something circulated around the Internet.

If you missed it this morning, I’d recommend you give it a listen. Reading the sermon may be good, but listening to it will really make it move you.

Hopefully I’ll be able to get the mother’s slideshow up as well, but you really need to give it a listen (now in MP3). Check it out.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Spelunking

2006-05-14T22:11:00.000-04:00

Ok, it’s caving for us plebeians. Yesterday 6 teens and three adults (myself included of course) headed out to a cave in West Virginia to go caving. This was one awesome trip. I wish more teens had come, but sometimes God gives us just the right mix.

We headed into the cave looking like this picture on the left. We shared a great breakfast of Milky Ways, Three Musketeers (the best candy bar ever), Sprees and Gobstoppers. So we were full and ready to go!

As we went through we all agreed to try heading down one arm of the cave where we had one foot to 18 inches of clearance. What it meant was that I had to literally squirm my way through three different sections of rock. One arm was pinned behind me, since there wasn’t space to have both arms forward, and my head was stuck to the side, since there wasn’t space to turn it over (the crawl back was much easier). I definitely got a bit spooked and didn’t look forward to going back out the same way.

That squirm was well worth it. We got to the end and were in a huge mud room. Some people had some pretty big mud fights. I got to scoop up big clumps of mud and smear them all over Bethany. Regardless of what SHE says, I definitely won.

We also got to drop down into a hole about 20 feet deep and could actually hear the water dropping against the mud. It was an incredible sound. Unfortunately it was too hard to hear when a lot of people came in the room. The climb back out was a bit tough, but so much fun.

We lunched next to a dead bat. Did you know a bat’s hands naturally are closed tight; they hibernate hanging on the wall (and apparently can die hanging on the wall too). It was pretty cool.

Michael and Tom got to sing the Indiana Jones theme song multiple times, as they slid down walls and explored. Bethany was crazy adventurous by leading the group almost all the time (she’s small enough to fit through anything). Then you had Christine, Maggie and Susan who were a bit more like me. Ready to explore and try stuff, but glad to have someone near.

I can safely say that for every wall we looked at, someone had a different view on what it looked like. I say this picture on the left looks like the inside of a larynx; other people had their own ideas.

Really, this was one great trip. We came out of that cave closer to one-another than when we went in. we shared stories, and I’m still learning about some of the people who went on the trip. As with every good trip, no one can stop talking about it.

Remember what we looked like going into the cave? Here we are just coming out. If that doesn’t make you want to go caving, I don’t know what will.

Thank God for the chance to see the inside of His great green earth.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Time Off

2006-05-12T23:48:00.000-04:00

As I’ve mentioned earlier, work has been really, really slow. So slow in fact that one manager has sent my resume to people for FoxPro work or for a project which no one even knows what they do or what they need. While this woman is wonderful to talk to about family life and things of a personal nature, I have a hard time looking to her as a leader.

In any case, if you happen to be interested in looking at my resume and suggesting improvements, etc, please let me know. I am always excited to have people constructively criticize my things. It’s only through teams that we really get better.

So, this entire week I have taken off of work. My plan was relatively simple. Take the time off, do a few things around the house, put my resume together and get it out on Monster and really reflect on where God wants me to be.

Remember the movie Clue from 1985? It was awesome, and had three alternate endings. When you went to the theater you picked whether you wanted to see ending A, B or C. Thankfully the video (and DVD) have all endings. I always remember right before ending C they write up “But here’s what really happened”. A and B were good choices, and great intentions, but not what really came to pass. Often my life follows that same line, great intentions, not so great realities. But I have an awesome life that I would never give up, so I’m sure not complaining, just saying that I never quite live up to my intentions.

So, with my intention of focusing on a job search well in hand… Here’s what really happened.

I did errands, sprayed to kill weeds, got and spread mulch, worked on why I couldn’t burn TV shows to DVD, discussed the next sermon series and adding a service time, and updated the church Web site. Oh, I did at least get my resume up on monster.

I never did get that long walk I promised myself, nor that reflection time, and I don’t even have a written resume, though I have to hand it to Monster, they make it really easy to put up your information without needing a written resume.

This got me to realize that I really would love a job where I was the IT leader in a church (or technology pastor as National Community Church calls it). I spent a lot of the week preparing a talk for Wednesday night (which apparently I did well on, which makes me so glad) and updating our church Web site to support RSS feeds and sermon e-vites (both are pretty cool).

It ended up being a really productive week with church things, and you really do have to check out the RSS feeds and Web e-vites (once the e-vite sermon series text gets finalized by Rob.

So check out the updated St. Matthew’s site. It’s not very different, but those little orange syndication squares are the RSS feeds. So you can subscribe to our Newsletter, Sermons and Rob Recommends.

I really do love some of this work though, being able to make a difference in something that will really be used by someone and hopefully deepen their faith. Now, just pray for me that I’ll have some time next week to really begin reflecting.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Brain Teasing

2006-05-09T13:42:00.000-04:00

Over the past two months or so there’s been something teasing the back of my brain. Have you ever gotten that feeling? The feeling that you’re about to realize something that may change your life, but it’s just not quite coming clear?

I know that it has something to do with how we treat people around us. Why we should help people and speak positively to and about friends, family and strangers.

I think I’m coming to some realization about how to explain the practical reasons of why we need to think positively about the situations around us. It’s also that “click” I’ve needed to really begin recognizing that there are no problems, only opportunities.

I also think that when this teasing stops and really becomes understanding I’ll also be able to explain it to others. I’d love to be able to sit with people and be able to give them good, understandable reasons why they should be kind to friends that hurt us instead of turning our backs on them.

Maybe it’s growing up. I prefer to think its God passing along a realization I need.

In any case, I can’t wait until it all comes together.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Life After the Buzz

2006-05-08T22:36:00.000-04:00

It’s been a few days after the closing of the Buzz Conference. While I like attending conferences, they almost always feel like brain washing sessions. I’m convinced this is because we’ve been immersed in one topic for days or a week straight, and just start accepting everything the speaker says as the ultimate truth. Because of this, I always like writing my notes immediately, but then reflecting for a few days before getting out and trying to change the world based on what I learned.

So, the Buzz has begun to wear off, and I’m still seeing the world differently.

First, let me say I was a bit surprised at what I got from attending. I had thought this would be a great conference to talk about creating a buzz about church and changing the lives of people. Ways that include using technology, scripture and old fashioned hitting the streets.

I got there and was surrounded by pastors. Have you ever been in a room and felt like you were the dumbest person there? Ok, this wasn’t that bad, there was a 4 year-old girl there with her parents, I’m pretty sure I know more about church and preaching than she does.

Seriously though, there are 300 people around me, and each one I talked to seemed incredibly interesting and incredibly intelligent. They pastured church which were multiple times bigger than our church. They were all staff. One was a great man from Australia who is currently planting a church.

Heck, the people I talked to were bloggers who you just knew had some really insightful things to say about church and life. People who must have a ton of people reading their blog regularly. Me, I have about 14 subscribers (and one of them may be me actually). I do have some friends reading, like Melissa who offered to help with sermon series graphics (she is creative and just and awesome person, I’ll be taking her up on that offer).

The conference ended up being more about how to give really good sermons, and how to focus the church on visitors and people who don’t know Christ.

So, what is the main thing I took away from all of this? It was simply this, “that’s how I’m going to do it when I become a priest”. I can do some of it now with youth ministry, and supporting Rob. Really though, I can’t wait to have a church of my own, where I can make some real changes, pushing the technological envelope as well as driving a parish to be open and willing to invite people in.

There have been two things I took away from this conference that keep sitting in my mind. I may write more on them later. Basically the four key points are:

I can actually be a priest, and could be a pretty good one.

Creativity isn’t simple, we need supporting people and supportive practices to make it happen. But, everything you can imagine IS possible.

We need to build the people up around us. Never speak negatively of someone, do you think God sees you in a negative light?

I know I’ll be writing more later. Especially about those top three items. Heck, I’m already in the middle of a blog entry relating to them.

I’m beginning to listen to more sermons online too. I’m also planning on setting up Rob’s sermons as a podcast, no more requiring people to use RealAudio.

For now I’ll leave you with this quote from Mark Batterson paraphrasing J.R.R. Tolkien

"Maybe a lack of faith is really a lack of imagination"

Do you have the imagination to believe?

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Getting Sappy

2006-05-08T22:03:00.000-04:00

Growing up I rarely cried. I felt for my friends and family when they were hurting, just as I feel for my aching family right now. But I don’t tend to cry very often.

Then… I got married… Then… I had a baby.

I’m thinking about this because Erin and I are watching Grey’s Anatomy (TiVo’d, so we’re behind) and I just watched two pretty incredible things.

The first was a premature baby gets delivered looking grey, and its mother passed away due to a car accident. When the baby started breathing and cried, I couldn’t help but cry myself. It lasted through the commercial break and on.

Then the second thing happened. The baby’s grandfather met with the man who hit their car. When the man said he was sorry, the grandfather went up with rage and sadness consuming him. He met the man and offered a gentle touch. I couldn’t help but think how hard this forgiveness would have been for me.

This is what it means to forgive. It’s not forgiving the family member because they made a small mistake. It’s not forgiving your wife when she misspeaks and hurts you. While those are important things, and should be forgiven.

What truly makes us followers of Christ is our forgiveness for those who have altered our lives irrevocably. Forgiving those people who we have no ties too, and may even want to smash their face in, is the true gift of Love for each-other.

Having Rachel makes all of these things feel so much more real in my life. I feel like I can imagine so much more, and recognize so much more pain that might come in my life. To lose Rachel, and look at the person who made it happen. I truly do hope I can offer the same forgiveness if my life was hurt so drastically.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Buzz

2006-05-04T10:25:00.000-04:00

Work has been incredibly slow lately. So slow I’m seriously considering looking around at positions in other companies, finding a way to work from home, or really beginning this discernment process I’ve put on hold. So, if you have any job leads for Web developers, preferably in a Christian related field, let me know.

In the short term I get to go to a conference on marketing and making talks/sermons in church really interesting and interactive. It’s called the Buzz conference. It’s all about creating a Buzz in the world about God and your church community. I’m pretty excited about going.

It didn’t completely occur to me until recently that I’ll be going to the conference alone. Normally this would make me a bit uneasy. I mean, I’ll be around hundreds of other people without anyone I know to hang out with. Maybe I’m growing up or something, but I’m excited that this will mean I get to meet some new people. I’m really hoping to meet some people who are in the same boat I am, a somewhat small church (compared with a couple of church leaders going with 10,000 members or more).

But more than anything I’m hoping to come away with some ideas on how to share God’s love with other people. How to deepen the faith of people around me, and start the process for those who don’t know God.

I was just talk to Greg, a small group leader for the 40 Day Revolution. He mentioned the same thing that surprised me. These teens may feel uncomfortable, and may be doing things they’ve never done before. But they are all doing them, and excited about making a difference. I truly hadn’t expected that reaction. Some of the teens are really doing every event on every day, and making real commitments to those around them. Already they’ve brought 3 or 4 other people into the fold and have them taking part.

I can’t wait to hear what god has waiting for me to learn today and tomorrow. I’ll definitely be writing on it, in case you’re curious. I really do want to create a Buzz about God in everything I do... It's what Jesus wants all of us to be doing.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

The DaVinci Code

2006-05-02T21:56:00.000-04:00

We're going to be doing a sermon series on Exploring The Da Vinci Code: Seek the Truth at church. Lately for all of our sermon series' I've had the opportunity to make a graphic depicting the series. Often I'm way off base and it takes a few revisions. In the end I think I do all right, though not as well as some of the graphic teams I know other churches use. I'm still working on building a graphic team, anyone interested? You don't have to go to our (or any) church...

Anyway, I stole ideas from a couple of different logos, but I really am kind of happy with how this graphic came out. I also got to dabble in using a custom brush (I made the Seek the Truth text a brush to delete the black over-top the Mona Lisa). It was fun all around.

Sure, call it pridefulness, but really I just want to put up this graphic so that I remember one of the first series' graphics I'm really happy with on the first try. It means I'm getting a bit better at this (I hope).

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Discovering Your Mission

2006-04-29T18:00:00.000-04:00

This is a talk I gave during our Senior high spring retreat last weekend. It was an awesome time in Black Water Falls, WV. I'll get pictures and things up later, but figured I'd post this talk. As a warning, it's a bit long...

Last night Alex was playing Imagine by John Lennon for me. I’m pretty sure it was just for Alex and my benefit, since there was WAY too much noise going on around the table with people playing cards for them to have even noticed Alex had a guitar in his hands. It really was a great evening, and a good way to settle down.

The song spurred me into imagination. I want you to imagine something with me.

Close your eyes… No peeking, even Rachel can close her eyes while Big Bird plays hide and seek with Ernie.

Imagine with me a 10 foot deep hole with a ladder on one side. Now imagine my daughter Rachel doesn’t pay attention and accidentally slides down the side and into the whole. She’s ok, but stuck. Imagine what it must be like for Rachel at the bottom of the hole, looking up at me over the edge and wailing because she feels trapped and can’t find any way out. I’m at the top of the hole pointing, talking and trying to explain how to get to the ladder, but she can’t hear me over her sobs. Until she settles down and actually listens to me, she’ll never find a way out. I can do tons of things, but until she settles down it will all be wasted.

What pit are you stuck in right now? What questions do you feel that you just have to answer right now? Are you wondering what you want to be when you grow up? Wondering what you want to do with your life? Are you asking where you fit in God’s plan? Are you feeling led more by what you think your parents desire for you instead of where you feel God leading you? Have you wondered about entering ministry full-time or go into the marketplace after college?

These questions are always on our minds. Some of these are questions I keep asking myself, and listening to the wrong voices for answers. We’ll stay stuck in the pit of indecision until we look too God and let His answers lead us out.

Okay, you can open your eyes.

Have you ever heard the country song “It’s 5 O’clock Somewhere”? The chorus goes like this:

“Pour me something tall and strong,
Make it a hurricane, before I go insane.
It’s only half past 12, but I don’t care…
It’s 5 o’clock somewhere”

At one point the two singers talk about heading out and one singer makes sure that the other is keeping it “between the navigational beacons”. Every time I think about getting directions or being lost (which happened far too much yesterday) I think about keeping it between the “navigational beacons”.

Yesterday night we went around the same circle of road three times. We doubled back and still didn’t make it. It wasn’t until we slowed down and read the signs along the way that we finally found our way out of the endless loop we were stuck in.

God has put each one of you here for a reason. Sometimes we need to slow down and forget about schedules, forget about how upset we are that we’re lost. We need to turn to God and let him give us direction. I have to tell you, when you figure out what God has planned for you, and you follow that path you will find peace and fulfillment. It always begins with God.

Look at James 1:5, the last person to find it gets to read. God is our navigational beacon. “If any of you lack Wisdom, he should ask God, which gives generously to all without finding fault and it will be given to them. God is generous and wants you to be happy. God gives wisdom if we seek and pray to him”.

So, what is Wisdom?

Those are pretty good answers.

Wisdom is godly understanding. It’s seeing things as God sees them. See, we don’t see things as they are… we see them as WE are.

Wisdom also helps us get a clear focus on our purpose. Going back to our imagination. If I asked you to picture your life, what image would come to mind?

That image is your life metaphor. It’s the view of your life that you hold unconsciously in your mind. If you view life as a race, you’ll value speed. If you view life as a party you’ll value fun. If you view life as a battle, winning will be your ultimate goal.

To fulfill you’re your purpose you’ll have to challenge conventional wisdom. We can’t conform to the standards of the world!

Why is it that adults say high school is the best time you’ll ever have? Why do they say it’s all down hill after college? Why do they want to be “young” again? Don’t they know how incredibly hard life is in high school?

Here’s what those adults really see when they look at you. They see lives that are able to be molded. Lives that don’t have to support a family or a house. Lives where you can do whatever you want. Sure you have to go to class and get through college. But if you wanted you could drop everything and enter the Peace Corps. You can become a missionary and go all over the world, without having to convince your husband or wife to come with you.

You can hear God’s mission and follow it right now. As you get older it may become harder to follow that mission, since you may have to convince others to follow with you. The pressures of the world will keep making your hold deeper and deeper so that your Father’s voice gets harder and harder to hear.

Someone read Jonah 1:1-3 and 2:1. God’s missions for us are pretty clear in our lives. But, just like Jonah, we tend to turn away from what those missions are. We listen to the people around us for guidance instead of going straight to the source.

So, how the heck do you figure out your mission anyway? Thankfully God has given us two great tools to give us clarity.

Prayer is one gift God has given us to find our mission.

In the van, how do you think my navigation system was able to play music through the radio? It worked because the radio was on the same station that the navigation system broadcast on. So, the Navigation system sent a signal as 106.3 FM and the radio had to be set to 106.3 FM to hear it. Any other channel would have been static or some other music station.

Prayer is the amplifier that takes His words and allows us to hear them. It helps bring us to Hid frequency. God is always speaking to us, but if we’re on the wrong channel we can’t pick him up.

There’s so much distraction and noise around us that it’s not easy to get on his wavelength. We so over stimulated that we don’t let God compete with our busy schedule. We want instant answers, like those we find on the Internet.

The frequency God works on is silence.

We need to create a time of silence to hear God speaking to us.

The second tool God gave each of us to understand His mission for us is scripture.

Yep, that book you keep cracking open whenever we ask you to read Book X, Chapter Y, and Verse Z isn’t just there for us to test your reading skills. It’s filled with God’s words.

Reading His words help us to understand what He wants the world around us to look like. Passages of scripture affect each of us differently. How you feel as you read the Bible helps you find your mission.

How do you know if you’re doing what God has planned for you? You know because you will finally be at peace.

For years I have felt that my job is not meeting the mission God has for me. In the work I do every day, I am not bringing people closer to God. I am not introducing people to God through my products. Every time someone logs into one of my applications, they are not deepening their faith.

I have a wonderful gift that lets me love each and every one of you. Even if you don’t share that love back. I was talking to Ann last night about my “favorites” in youth group. As we were talking I realized that every one of you were my favorites. Everyone here, everyone I see Sunday night and everyone I see Thursday night are my “favorite” in one way or another.

It’s true at work too. No matter how difficult a person is, you can see that they only want to make this world better for those around them. They just may not recognize how.

I thought that making the decision to go to seminary and become a priest would be relatively easy. I know God is leading me in that direction. I know He’s been leading me there for years. I never expected how much my own family would tell me I was making the wrong decision. Even my mom, who goes to church regularly and has kept me faithfully grounded, thinks it’s a bad idea to pursue right now. They all recognize that I have Rachel to raise and a family to help support. That’s impossible if I go to seminary, I’ll become a financial drain instead of a faucet.

At the same time, I do feel like I’m in that pit. The ladder is right beside me, but I just can’t see it. I am in a personal turmoil, and peace feels like it’s the farthest thing from my grasp.

I’m trying to compromise with God. I’m trying to find programming work with a company which produces products that help God’s mission for us. But nothing seems to fit.

It’s like my new van. I was sick of my Nissan Quest. It was expensive and had problems. I just felt uncomfortable in it. So I researched and test drove a ton of new cars. Not one of them “clicked” for me. I didn’t fall in love with a single one of them. Then I looked for a used minivan I could buy with my own money. I test-drove my Chrysler and fell in love with it. It just clicked, and now every time I get in the car I feel at peace. I love to drive again like I haven’t felt since college.

If you’re unsettled or uncertain about where God is moving in your life, it’s time to seek Him out. Once you have found God’s frequency and are following His will, you’ll find the Experience of Peace.

Find another person in the room, put your hands on their shoulders and close your eyes. I want you to pray for that person right now that they will accept God’s will for them in their lives. Also pray that they will receive the wisdom to know when it’s not God’s will.

I Like This Youth Group the Best

2006-04-27T22:46:00.000-04:00

I was talking to one of the teenagers who come to Starbucks on Thursday nights and he made a pretty interesting statement. He’d been to youth groups which had 200 people and others which had far fewer. Some had great leaders and some had insane amounts of money. But tonight he said he keeps coming back to Starbucks because it’s the place he likes the best and feels the most comfortable. He even wants to go on our retreat tomorrow, even though he did just find out about it two hours ago.

Statements like that are why I volunteer to do this job. I have some parents who think my evenings at Starbucks are a joke. There’s not much talk about God and mostly people just hang out in one of two big groups talking about whatever comes to mind. It sure isn’t structured the way many parents would like.

Over the past three years of these meting though I have seen a lot. I’ve been there during break-ups and when one guy asks the girl on her first date (both happened in the same evening recently, if you can believe it). I’ve been in the cold when no one showed up and in the summer when 60 people are running around and the manager came and said we were too loud (and we were sitting outside).

More than anything I’ve gotten to be there for real life. I get to hear the stories of what these teens go through each day, and I get to interject a tiny bit of wisdom whenever it fits. Really though I’ve just loved the chance to be a part of the lives of some teens who don’t go to church. I get to show them the love and acceptance Jesus has for them, without having to plan and keep them structured.

So, tonight was simply a great night. I had another of those chances to hear that what I’m doing does make a difference. As I’ve said in the past, I’ve made a difference in some people’s lives. I could die tomorrow and only regret leaving Erin and Rachel to early on. I love it even more to find out that I’m continuing to make a difference, and people still appreciate what I do.

When is the last time you heard someone say that about what you’ve done? Kevin didn’t say that it was directly anything I’d done. Just that he liked the friends he hangs out with and likes this group the best. I just feel so good knowing that a strong community of teens is forming in front of me. There are screw-ups and there are nerds. But they’re all getting along and growing together. God does work in some incredible ways.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

What Do You Want To Hear?

2006-04-27T13:10:00.000-04:00

I shared this story at bible study last night, but it just seems to be sticking around in my head. I figure that means I should write a blog entry just to get it out there.

I went up to Pennsylvania for a few hours to visit my friend Abby. She and I met during the Mississippi trip our youth group took last November. Honestly, she was quiet and we joked around a little but I certainly hit it off more with two other people, Dave and Amber, out of their group. Over time that has changed a lot. Time and God just keep throwing changeups when all we were expecting was a fastball.

Right now I talk to Amber and Dave every now and then, but have the good, regular conversations with Abby. While IM is a great way to talk, it just isn’t wonderful at getting to know someone. I knew Abby went to church and did some things even outside Sunday morning, but really had no idea where she fell relating to God (I still don’t think I know entirely).

When I first arrived we got to talking about this bible study called the 40 Day Revolution I’m leading at youth group. It’s all about showing the world the love God has for each one of us by going out of our way for other people and praying for their needs.

Monday was simply to color a rock and put it someplace you could see it. Tuesday’s “assignment” was to ask the people beside us in each class if there was anything we could pray about for them. When I write it, and when I present it, it just sounds like such an easy thing to do. Apparently I’m not so good when it comes to living it.

I was talking to Abby about the curriculum and started talking about the assignment from Tuesday. I don’t know whether Abby had look on her face or if it was my own insecurity, but I just really down-played the assignment. Heck, I even made it out to sound kind of silly… As though I was getting too religious or might put her off because of it.

On the ride home I was thinking about the good times we had, but this interaction kept nagging at me. I realized that this was an assignment completely out of my comfort zone and will be really hard to accomplish while looking someone in the eye.

I hold honesty to be a pretty important value in my life. I also tend to hold bluntness up there as well. Don’t say something that hints at what you’d like me to do, or what I have done wrong. Get it out there so we can discuss it head-on. I only ask that you be considerate of what I may be thinking and about how I may receive your honesty.

The last part there causes some of the problems for me. I am too blunt in some cases, often putting my foot in my mouth. Thankfully I am surrounded by forgiving people who see it as one of my peculiarities. Other times I will water down what I am saying so much that I’m really changing my point entirely, just because I think the other person won’t like or agree with what I have to say.

It happened yesterday talking to Abby. My own mind started thinking about this assignment and how she would receive it. I erred on the side of caution and took almost all of the “religion” out of it. I didn’t want her thinking I was weird or strange (which is funny since I really am weird AND strange). I just don’t want people to act a certain way with me because of my religious beliefs. I’d rather we all just be honest and comfortable with one-another while being open to listen to different ideas.

I had one of the most open and honest conversations with some of our youth last night during a small group discussion. We all opened up to one-another and really shared some of our heartaches in life. It’s that sort of honesty I want to be surrounded by. An honesty that is brutal, blunt and opens us to hurt. Conversations like these are what build a strong community. They build relationships that should last beyond the end of the week and into the changes phases of our lives.

For now all I can say is that I’ll be asking Abby what I can pray for in her life. I’ll also ask you, is there anything I can be praying for in your life?

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Making Time

2006-04-27T11:26:00.000-04:00

Lately my job has been roiling along pretty slowly. There just hasn’t been a lot of work that needs to be done. While it’s frustrating to be at work during this time, it has given me the opportunity to use a little vacation time and try to re-center myself.

Yesterday I got to take one of those days and get out of Virginia. I headed up to Pennsylvania, Selinsgrove to be exact, to spend some time with my friend Abby. The drive up and back was uneventful and relaxing. I just get so relaxed by watching the landscape around me turn from urban sprawl to small towns to trees and finally mountains on every side. The East coast is great at getting you almost every sort of land mass you could want (besides desert, but who wants that anyway) within a 3 hour drive.

I do admit that it can get boring (that’s why I have audiobooks). I also sometimes wish I had more time to just stop and walk around in those trees or look out from the top of that mountain. I only had about 4 hours in PA before I had to head back, so I tried to soak in as much as I could at 75 miles per hour.

Having the day in PA helped as well. I got to Abby’s farm house and was easily taken in by the sheer nature around me. Now, Selinsgrove sure it’s not the most exciting place in the world. There just isn’t much to do when you compare it to Northern Virginia. While it may not be a beehive of activity, I got the chance to just sit and talk. I can’t tell you the last time I talked to people without having to worry about what was coming up next or what I was going to be late for.

I met Abby at her house and just chatted for a few minutes. Since I’d only really talked to her face to face three times, it seems a bit awkward whenever we first get together. We soon headed down to Selinsgrove University and I got to have lunch with her mom. Yeah, it may sound a little weird, but it worked out. I got treated to lunch, and got to have a great conversation about work, life and anything with Abby’s mom (I think we left Abby out of the conversation a bit, but it was fine).

After that we grabbed ice cream at Rita’s (or is it custard) and splurged for the rainbow sprinkles (since they taste better than chocolate ones). Over ice cream Abby and I really got to start talking more comfortably. We got to talk about relationships (man am I glad I’m past those days), about lecherous truckers ogling me from the side of the road (ok, they may have been ogling Abby but I was closer to their age so it’s just disgusting in a different way).

Over ice cream and in the warm sun I really just enjoyed talking. I listened to what was going on in her life and got to talk a little about some of the things going on now and about my own past. Even though I did have something of a deadline (to leave by 2 to get back to church) I didn’t even worry about the clock (yeah, I left at 3, but was still only 10 minutes late… The pizza brought forgiveness).

I don’t really want Rachel growing up in a small town; I have just seen what so many teenagers get into when there aren’t many safe things to do. At the same time it does feel good to go someplace where the world just slows down. A place where you can relax and spend time with friends without to worries of what needs to be done next.

Vacations are good, but we tend to spend them with the same people we see every day. It’s good to make some time to just sit with a friend and talk. Maybe I just need more day trips for friend visits.

In any case, when is the last time you made plans to spend time with someone and didn’t worry about the schedules you needed to keep? Often I’ll have lunch or dinner with someone. These are some good times, but there is always the thought that we’ll need to end soon so that we don’t tie up a table or that the person needs to get back to work.

I can only hope that you are able to make more time for those things that are truly valuable to you. Even if it takes a few hours drive to get away, the people you’ll reconnect with will be worth it. Want to join me for a time-insensitive talk sometime?

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

40 Day Revolution

2006-04-18T11:44:00.000-04:00

A few people from church went out to St. Louis for a Servant Evangelism conference. Servant Evangelism is essentially the idea that you should do something kind for someone else without expectation of getting something back. That’s the servant part.

You serve others without any expectations except for the hope that the person you served will be happier and spread your example around, that’s the evangelism part.

Have you ever seen the movie Pay it Forward? This kid (played by Haley Joel Osment… Is he even around anymore?) goes out and does some random acts of kindness to strangers around him. All he asks is that you repay that kindness with someone else.

If I help 10 people and even half of them help 10 other people, you can eventually change the world. It will spread like a virus (or an Ideavirus if you read Seth Godin). You’ll have individuals going out in the community and looking at other people as people instead of nameless faces to be ignored or used to get ahead.

One way I live this in my life is through lunch with others. I tend to go out to lunch a bit to meet with people at church. At these lunches I generally try and pay for the entire meal. When someone offers to pay I simply ask that they save the money and use it to take someone else out to lunch later.

For the high school bible study we’re beginning a curriculum called the 40 Day Revolution. This takes servant evangelism and puts it on steroids. The goal for high schoolers is to spend 40 days sharing kindness with students in their school. The ultimate goal is to get everyone in the school, from the administration to the students, to be considering one-another with all of their actions. There is also a hope that some people will find a saving relationship with Jesus.

I was ordering the curriculum and heard a story from the author’s dad believe it or not (he was great to talk to). He was telling me about this school in Florida that was targeted by a couple of churches during the 40 Day Revolution. This was a school which wasn’t the bottom of the barrel, but wasn’t perfect either. They had their fair share of drugs and fighting.

You begin the Revolution by sending a letter to your principal, letting them know what you are doing. This Florida principal was more than skeptical, he was openly critical of the idea. At the end of the 40 days the principal went up to the youth minister leading the group and actually thanked him. He offered the school’s auditorium for the closing ceremony and asked if they would continue doing the Revolution within the school. Turns out that the year the school did the revolution they only had one drug incident and one fight. How incredible a change that is. That a group of youth was able to help the entire school grow.

Richard Mull, the author of the 40 Day Revolution really aims at making this bigger than a school. Once a school has bought in, bring in a community. Once you have the community taking part work on the county. It goes up and up, until we have the entire world caring about one-another in ways we’d never thought was possible.

I’m looking forward to what changes are going to come across in my own life and the world around me. How will I apply this stuff to my job, my family and those around me? It’s definitely going to be a step out… a step I’m really excited to take. Are any of you up for joining me? I’ll definitely let you know how it all works out.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Consumers and Producers

2006-04-17T14:43:00.000-04:00

When I was on the vestry (board of directors) for church last year a term came up when referring to parishioners (regulars and visitors who join us) in the church. As a forewarning, I really hope not to offend anyone, but if you read my last entry you’ll remember that a little offense is something we can work through together.

Anyway, we looked at the people who came to church and made two general categories for individuals. People were either consumers or producers. The consumers were people who came to Sunday morning services, and maybe some other activities. These people consumed what we had to offer, but had not made the life decision to give back to the world (and regardless of your opinion, Christ does want us to be giving back). Those people, who made a life commitment to Christ, volunteered their own time and actively worked to bring others to Christ we called “producers”.

If you’re really going to get politically correct, we should probably call them “potential volunteers” vs. “actual volunteers” (though that doesn’t accurately reflect these people). Consumers and producers just make more sense in our day and age (and rolls off the tongue).

The reason for this grouping was that we were constantly asking ourselves, “How can we change people from consumers into producers”? How can we bring people from the pews into a lifelong commitment to Jesus and all of the potential He wants our lives to be?

I say all that to recognize that lately I’ve been much more of a consumer than a producer. In the blog world I’m reading 53 blogs every time they are updated (some once a week or less, others multiple times a day), not including the Mosaic podcast each week and any regular e-mail newsletters I receive (though all except the New York Times newsletters I get as RSS and ignore others). At the same time I’ve posted a whole 0 times in the past two weeks. Yesterday was the first time in what feels like forever.

This actually helped me recognize some of the ways I have been slipping in my own life.

Since last August I’ve made some changes to how I’m living, including how I eat. That has somehow translated to me losing about 22 pounds since August (a benefit I hadn’t expected). Over the past month my weight leveled off and actually went up by a tiny bit. I’ve found this to be a great barometer to see how I’m living.

If my weight is going up, it means I’m eating more than I need to. It means I’m consuming more than I’m producing. Looking at my blog posting habits was another example. I’ve tried journaling but just don’t make the time for it. Blogging has been easier for me, and I do make time for it. When I stop blogging it means I’ve also stopped making the time to journal, never a good thing.

This got me to recognize that I’m also consuming more in other ways. I’ve been buying more DVD’s (two or three in the past 2 months, not terrible, but I’ve seriously considered buying some that I don’t care about).

I’ve also been taking more from church than I’ve been giving back. Letting other people do all the work while I sit back and watch. I’ve also begun being sarcastic and teasing with people instead of making jokes which build people up.

Even with family I’ve been consuming. During our weekly get-togethers I’ve been a bit more reserved, and feeling very disconnected from the conversation. Simply wanting to be alone.

St. Matthew’s had a prayer vigil last Thursday and Friday and I took part from 12:50 – 1:30 a.m. That really helped me to recognize what’s been going on, and that it’s time for me to get back on track. So far even recognizing this has helped and I’m doing a bit better.

So, are you consuming more than you’re producing? Sometimes we do just need a break from life for a while to recognize how much we gain from helping others. I do have to say that it’s beginning to feel good getting back into the swing of teaching and volunteering again.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Good and Bad about Being Episcopalian

2006-04-16T21:34:00.000-04:00

One of the great things about being an Episcopalian is also one of the things which make it hard for us to really grow.

Being Episcopalian means that my focus on this world is centered on community. It is through a strong community that people really do see God working in this world. It’s through community that I become more than I can ever be by myself.

It’s also through community that I get to see what forgiveness is all about. I’ve taken on more than I can really handle lately. I’ve also put some things that aren’t all that important ahead of others. I have definitely let some of those people in the community around me down. That’s probably most especially true with the youth, and it hurts.

That same community which I’ve hurt has always been there supporting me, and forgiving me the times when I’ve failed them. In some cases they haven’t even mentioned some of the times I’ve messed up.

Thursday night I was at church and had the chance to simply kneel and pray from 12:50 – 1:30 a.m. Initially I thought it would just drone on and on, and I’d keep looking at the clock. It kind of hit me how little I have been spending alone with God. Those 40 minutes flew by before I’d even realize they were over.

During my simple time of reflection and talking with God I was told pretty clearly that I’m actually doing pretty well in life. I am very often my own worst critic, and it holds me back more than I realize. It’s time for me to begin forgiving myself, and recognizing that this community I am in forgives me as well.

So, what’s the bad side about all of this? Well, we are a community centered on the belief (not all Episcopalians, but most of the one’s I’ve met believe this) that we will all find god in our own way and in our own time. We’re a group that will welcome you even if we don’t necessarily agree with you. We’ll support you even when you’ve made some mistakes, both big and small. We will accept you even if you haven’t accepted us or Jesus.

Can you see the problem? This mentality is awesome, and why I love the church. It’s also why we tend not to talk about our faith very much. We prefer to live a Christian life and hope someone will recognize that God must exist and that you can live a fun and rewarding life through Him.

We just don’t want to tell people that they are wrong. If you believe God doesn’t exist, we don’t want to tell you that you are mistaken.

Many people won’t even say aloud the changes God has made in our lives. Some won’t even say it within the church. We just don’t want to offend someone.

Well, change never happened without causing some offense. I’ve been married to Erin for 4 years (this Thursday) and I know I’ll offend some people when I talk about it. I’ll say it’s been 4 whole years, and offend those people who have been married for 30 and thing 4 years is a joke. I’ll offend those people who are desperately looking for a mate and only feel more alone when they hear how great marriage and parenthood is.

I’m not great at talking about my faith publicly. I am too worried about what people may think. But right now I’m in a bit of a lull in my career, with little interest of “getting ahead” any farther. I think it’s time to stop taking stock in the opinions of my co-workers, many of whose live lives I would never want, and who just seem so lost I can’t agree when they get excited about new purchases or golf scores.

It’s time to start focusing on what’s really important. Time to start building a community that feels free to offend one-another. A community that knows that even when we disagree we’re together for the long haul. How will you start changing your communities?

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Watching

2006-04-02T17:50:00.000-04:00

Right now I’m enjoying something I don’t often get to do. I’m sitting in my car at church and just watching.

Ok, a little more background, for fear you’d think I was some weird church stalker.

I got to church youth group a little bit ago and was just relaxing and reading a book. Then the middle school group came outside and started playing a game. Thankfully they either haven’t noticed that I was in the car, or haven’t had a chance to say “hi”.

So now I sit here, typing a little and watching. They’re throwing what looks like a heavy blue ball back and forth. Based on their actions the ball must be as heavy as a bowling ball. They’re all just out smiling, laughing and having a great time trying to throw a crazy heavy ball to each-other. One almost went straight at Lanae’s face.

The best was watching Amanda wind on and use everything she had and the ball plopped neatly right between her and her partner. All of them just laughed together. That great laugh where you know you’re laughing together. The knowledge that each of them will have the same problems soon.

Now they’re trying to balance a napkin on a straw (or maybe have a relay race with it), while holding the straw in their mouth.

All I can say is that we have an incredible community around us. People will do so much for one-another. People really can love one-another so much that they’ll make fools of each-other, and laugh the entire time. Sometimes I wish we could do that more as adults.

There are two great leaders giving their time every week to make all of this happen. Jen and Martha plan activities, lead talks and just commit themselves to these 6th – 8th graders. Trust me, from doing this for 4 years, that is something very few people are willing to do. Even fewer are any good at it.

I am just so excited that people like this are around my family. That Rachel will grow up sharing a laughter with others, instead of a laughter at others.

Well, it’s almost time for people to arrive for the senior high meeting, and for me to stop “watching”. Well, the peacefulness always must end; I can only hope I can impart some of that unconditional love I’ve just witnessed.

Often high school is that time we become more jaded in life, and it just seems to get worse. I hope you are looking at this world with some excitement and recognizing the beauty. I also hope that you’re not laughing at anyone, but instead that you are enjoying laughter at no one’s expense.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Counting Spots

2006-03-31T10:36:00.000-05:00

Here’s one of those things they don’t tell you before you get married. Apparently one of the marital duties is for each of us to look at each-other’s skin and count how many spots we have. We also need to see if any of them have changed in size.

I say this because Erin just got back from the dermatologist and he gave Erin the edict that she and I have to count our spots. I didn’t even know I had spots. But apparently I do. I guess we are somehow related to leopards.

So, how do you go about counting spots? Do you break each section of back into a 4x4 area and count for each area? Should I get a tally sheet and mark each off with tick marks?

Heck, I even need to keep track of size. What is that measuring tool they give you in geometry (not a protractor) that slides open and closed to make precise measurements? Maybe I’ll just break our my measuring tape, I love the soft “thunk” noise it makes when retracting the tape.

I don’t know about all of this. What else am I going to enjoy doing throughout this marriage? Next thing I know someone will tell me that I have to give a foot massage or maybe even cook a meal (oh my)!

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

50 Dollars

2006-03-27T22:09:00.000-05:00

One of the teenagers in youth group was recently given $50. They were given the money with the understanding that they would use it to help someone else. Ever since then he’s been banging his head against the wall trying to figure out what to do with the money that will have the greatest impact.

Should he give it to a homeless person (not necessarily a long-term solution)? Should he give it to Michael Brown? Should he invest it? Sponsoring a kid to go to Vacation Bible School?

So, I’m simply posting the question to you. What would you do with the money?

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Hands

2006-03-27T08:53:00.000-05:00

Yesterday my 20 month-old daughter Rachel and I went to the playground together. For some reason we got to grandma’s house and all she could say was “slide”, so we knew it was time to get out and walk on over to play on the slides. Oddly we didn’t spend a whole lot of time actually on the slides.

Initially she’d be tentative, asking for my hand to climb up the steps and look around to make sure I was near while she walked along the bouncy bridge. I even coaxed her into jumping a little to feel the bridge bounce, but she kept close to me.

When she got to a big step down she’d just call out “hand” and reach out so that I could hold her hand and steady her. Then she’d start climbing up the bars and need me to hold her hands as she negotiated balancing her feet on each rung. Of course, once she got to the top she was just fine running around on her own.

There was also a twisting slide which she was tentative about initially, so we slid down together. After the second time she was just fine going on her own and didn’t even want me to hold her as she went down. Then there was a smaller slide she decided to just get on her belly and slide down that way.

I really started thinking that this hand-holding is very similar to my relationship with God. When I’m starting something new I just rely on Him so much. I keep thinking to myself that if God weren’t helping make it happen I’d be a complete mess. Then as I do it more and more I tend to let go of the hand and really try to make him proud with my works.

After I’ve gotten somewhat good at something I still have a lot of times where I realize I just know nothing about the topic. I realize God is still right there beside me, watching and ready to catch me when I fall. He’s all set to pick me back up and make me smile about my hurts and failures. He knows that I’ll never be perfect at anything, and that hand is always outstretched and waiting for when I need it.

What better gift can I give Rachel than that outstretched arm? Even when she’s climbing the jungle gym without help, I can still help her do headstands (something she’s taken to doing lately). Once she’s off in the car on her own I can still help her feel better about the accident she’ll get or hold her hand through fighting a ticket. Once she’s off with her boyfriend, I can pray for her happiness, but I can also wrap her in two arms when it ends sadly.

I am just so glad that I can give my hand to Rachel any time she needs it. When she’s not holding on I’ll be honored to offer it to anyone else in need.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Viewings

2006-03-24T20:25:00.000-05:00

When I say viewings, I don’t mean viewings like when people get in a circle and contact ghosts. I’m talking those far more sad and moving times when you get to say one final goodbye to those you love.

Today was Marcus Gopal’s viewing. I can’t tell you how immensely sad and confusing this is. I’ve been to viewings and funerals in the past, all for direct family members. While they’ve all affected me, they were all for people who were much older than I was, people in their 90’s.

Attending a viewing for a 20 month-old is completely different. It’s also different because you have more tons and tons of pictures and even video of 2 year olds. There were two large boards of pictures as well as almost every surface had some picture of Marcus with a bright smile. Then there was a 12 minute video of Marcus during different times of his life. All of that came together to really remind me what we'd all be missing in the future.

I was especially moved when I saw four of the doctors from Rachel’s pediatrician’s (Marcus went to the same practice). I just appreciate them so much in what they’ve done for Rachel that I’m glad to know they really will be with us through whatever troubles we face.

Marcus’ mom made an observation that she can only pray that they will find some reason in what’s happened. I definitely understand where she’s coming from. It is so hard to find any reason in why this happened.

I consider myself a pretty spiritual person. I feel like I’ve really been listening to God, and He’s been making a lot of things pretty clear to me. But I just can’t find any reason in this.

I do know this wasn’t something God did. I even understand and believe that God is deeply hurt by this death as he is when everyone He loves passes away. God is also excited at welcoming Marcus up to be with Him.

For us left behind it’s hard to see any purpose. How can we grow from something so sad. What possible personal growth can we gain that is more important than having Marcus with us?

How does a priest explain this? Maybe being a priest doesn’t mean that you have all of the answers. I know as a programmer I don’t have all the answers about programming. Heck, I know as a youth minister I sure don’t know everything about youth ministry, or even teenagers. There are things in this life no one can ever explain. That can just be so upsetting at times like this.

If I’d ask you to do anything just do what I’ve been doing all week. Looking at those around you and really appreciate them. Every time I hold Rachel my heart melts at the things we’ll get to do as she grows up, and at the memories of fun times we’ve had. Let’s just appreciate one-another anew.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Secrets? Tell Someone!

2006-03-23T13:58:00.000-05:00

I’ve been reading Nate’s blog recently. I won’t go into details, but he’s kind of interesting if not exactly my type of guy. He just spent 3 weeks in an unheated cabin in the snowy mountains for some reflection… I think I’ll reflect in the Summer.

Long story not too short he posted a link to the PostSecret blog. Definitely check it out. It’s a blog where people mail in their secrets and some guy named Frank posts them up on the blog anonymously. You’ve got some sad secrets, some funny ones and some which can be a bit scary. Honestly I can only hope that some of these people have gotten counseling.

At the same time there are some good stories in here. Stories of problems people have had and how they finally got help. A few even make it pretty clear that without someone loving the person with a secret, things could have been far worse than they were.

I was reminded that all of the conversations and relationships I make with other people have the potential to change their lives. It also reminds me that there will always be something about everyone that I don’t know. Really it reminded me that the times when I just don’t want to listen to someone’s problems are probably the times I should be listening the closest.

When’s the last time you were listening to someone talk about their troubles but you mind just wasn’t all there?

I’m thinking it’s time for me to mail in a postcard to Frank… Now if I can only figure out something I’ve never said about myself to someone…

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Video Editing and the Little Things

2006-03-22T09:53:00.000-05:00

Recently I hacked our DirecTV TiVo. What this means is that instead of my TiVo only recording and showing shows (a job it does wonderfully) I can now copy control my TiVo from the Internet and even copy shows off to TiVo onto my computer. This has the added benefit that I can put Sesame Street shows onto a DVD for Rachel to watch in the car… she’s addicted, addicted I tell you.

Of course, with every cool “new” thing comes a lot of new “opportunities”. I’ve taken a Dr. Who episode and need to simply cut it in half and remove the commercials. Sounds easy, right? Well, I’ve now run through 5 different programs for editing video and making DVD’s, with very little doing everything I’d like. Right now I’m in the process of downloading yet another program.

I’m actually convinced that what I want to do is so simple that either every product does it and I’m thinking it should be hard, or no product does it because they are too focused on editing videos you record form home on a video camera. I’m pretty sure that products have barely considered editing TV shows and such; it’s just something so basic it gets glossed over.

I think I was reading Seth Godwin’s blog where he mentioned that through the 90’s everything we needed to live well has already been invented and has since been integrated into our lives.

Look around, you can’t even buy a car without air bags, seat belts, antilock-breaks (well, most cars have ABS or traction control). Regulating temperature in your home is a no-brainer with central heat and A/C. Communicating across the world for the masses has been a reality for more years than I’ve been alive (it’s called a telephone). When’s the last time you knew someone with typhoid fever, or polio?

Over the past decade companies are now trying to find the things you “want”. Our needs are taken care of at this point. So, how do they get our money? By giving us things we want or think we “need”. Do you need an MP3 player? Probably not, but Apple and others have created an entire industry around solving the “problem” that we need to listen to digital music and watch TV while we walk. Using the Internet to make phone calls (I admit, I do this, Sunrocket is awesome, especially at $17 a month (including taxes – not plus them)) sure isn’t necessary but having unlimited calls sure is nice. Drugs are all over the place making our lives easier, Claritin and other allergy drugs are a great example.

How many times do we look at the world and ignore the little things? We spend all of our time trying to solve the complex problems without looking at some of the basic little things which need to be taken care of.

How often do you try to figure out what’s not quite right in your marriage instead of making a little time to share dinner with just your spouse? You’re not solving the big problem directly, but looking at those little things helps make it manageable. I definitely complain about how much money we spend each month while also picking up just a few “extra” things at the grocery store.

Heck, with our church Web site I worry about redesigning the entire thing, keeping it updated regularly, getting pretty graphics for sermon series’ and all-around trying to find ways to make it the best. At the same time I let the little pieces fall away, and I forget that we do have one of the best Episcopal Web sites out there.

It’s time to look at the little things in life. Rob has been walking every day and taking in such little things as a beaver slapping it’s tail and heading into the water (he’s also thinking of getting an MP3 player, I sure hope it doesn’t come along for the walks).

During our Lenten bible study we’re reading The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis and someone in our group picked up that a ghost was no longer referred to
“he” but as “it”. It’s such a small thing, but makes such a big difference. What if someone started referring to me as “it”? You can bet it’d make a big difference to me.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob