G3 Frustration, e-mail and Questions

It's been two days, and so much has already happened that I feel overwhelmed. Which, of course makes me not want to write about everything, since there's just so much to say. So, I'll touch on a couple of topics without going into a whole lot of detail.

first and foremost, Rachel seems to be fine now. She was at daycare today and happy the whole time. So, I'm really so glad she's feeling better and happy again. Tonight I was putting her to sleep and she just looks like an angel. But, its so late I'm not going to put up a picture tonight. Maybe tomorrow, I did get a bunch today and yesterday.

One of the questions I get asked a lot regarding G3 is this (and I can quote it word for word, no matter who asks it it's exactly the same):

What are we doing for G3 tonight?

Now, here's my question. What answer are you looking for? Are you asking what we'll be talking about? Are you asking what games we'll play? Are you asking to figure out whether we're having food or not? I'd love to hear comments on this. If I know what you are really asking about then I can give you the answer you're looking for.

Even better, got ideas on how to improve the G3 meetings? Let me know that too, since I'm definitely interested.

Completely unrelated, I was talking to a friend over e-mail today about how he gave up e-mail one day a week for Lent. Only three weeks into Lent he had decided that he gives up, it's just too hard. That got me to thinking about it. I am one who checks e-mail ALL the time. I get home from work and turn on the computer to check e-mail, get on IM and surf the Web. While I have been using the Internet for over 10 years (back when there were no graphics and pine was my e-mail of choice - not vi and emacs, I'm not smart enough for them). But I still had a great life, and could go over a week without checking e-mail.

Why is it that we find we can't go a day without the Internet, and more specifically e-mail and IM (for some people IM is worse than e-mail, just check how many people are on IM from their mobile phone all day every day). Have we decided that something won't get done if we aren't available every day? Is it just that we feel that if we wait a day there will be so much e-mail the next day we won't want to sift through it? Can we not entertain ourselves for one day without Internet access?

It almost seems as though the concern of watching too much TV from the 80's and 90's have turned into too much Internet. But it's so new that parents don't worry about it for their kids. Heck, most parents (myself obviously included) are online as much as our children are. And how much time is too much, when you realize we are forming stronger relationships through IM, and when teachers are assigning homework that requires using the Internet to get information, such as the annual budget for the Department of Transportation (true story, I helped a youth group member find this information).

I don't know what I expect for an answer. I literally rely on e-mail, the Internet and IM Monday - Friday for work, and then use e-mail and IM over the weekend for church activities. So it sure doesn't look like I'll be breaking from the habit any time soon. I wonder though, is it becoming so much of a "habit" that I won't be able to break it?

As for my friend (who shall remain nameless). I can only pray that you do find the strength and fortitude to continue your Lenten offering, through Lent and maybe even afterward. Look outside, look in a book, look into your kids' eyes. There are so many things which will help you grow. Growing doesn't always mean intellectually, I've always preferred the emotional and spiritual growth we get from others and the world around us.

Lastly I wanted to share a neat and slightly sad story. Tonight our family (myself, Erin, Rachel, Grandma Cindy, Grandpap Jeff and Uncle Jason) went out for our usual Friday night dinner's. This time we went to Logan's, and I had a pretty darned decent Rib Eye (but I digress).

Turns out our waiter used to be a youth minister. He currently works with a boy's basketball team at Christian Fellowship. What was sad about this was that he stopped being a youth minister in 2001, for a couple of reasons. While burnout may have been there, the main cause for him was seeing so many 20 year-olds he used to lead having completely fallen from the faith. As he said it so well, it got far too hard to have fun youth group activities when there was so much else competing for their interests (relationships, sports, homework, work etc...).

This got me thinking a bit about our youth group. We tend to do a lot of crazy activities, which don't seem to relate to God on the face of them. Going to New York to see Phantom of the Opera, going to an anime convention, Halo nights at church or even bowling. The only thing these types of events build are community. But we aren't going to make it through the long haul without that community. When we leave high school and go off to college, if we don't have other friends or youth leaders checking in with us, and helping guide our spiritual compass every few weeks or months, its very easy to see how we can loose our own connection. We need to build a connection among each-other so that we do have a friend we've made with faith as a common factor. If we don't have faith friends, we may lose our faith in God as well.

But these big fun events have two things going against them. First, they're hard to plan (especially for someone like me, who tends to live for the moment). Second, and most importantly, they're expensive. While we are blessed by the church for funding to help pay for events and scholarships, the money isn't limitless. And for some people they just miss out. So we have our weekly bible study and G3 meetings.

The main focus of the G3 meetings is to bring people into our community and begin to figure out what being a Christian is all about. So we get together to play games, sing a few songs, and talk about God and His work in our lives.

As a side note, we'll be putting together actual mission statements for G3 and bible study, since I believe there is some confusion on what the difference is. If you have comments or suggestions please let me know.

Going back to our waiter's frustration, and the question I started this post with. Because we have G3 every week, it doesn't stay fun, exciting and fresh. Every week I get at least one complaint about something (lack of pizza, the game's not fun, whatever). Each week I go through what really pushed our waiter to take a break from ministry. While some people really are happy and excited to be there, the few who find fault really bring it down for me.

I read a few years ago that the burn-out rate for youth ministers is 16 months. I'm really proud to say I've lasted 3 years, and still doing well. But I'll be honest, there are definitely times when I can understand that burnout rate. Keeping parents, youth and the church leaders happy and growing in their faith is hard. Not a little hard, really hard. While I'm trying to grow a team of youth leaders to help group the group and alleviate my workload, I'm still responsible for handling all the problems which come up (well, Rob's responsible, but I'm second in line, and would prefer not everything has to go to him). Why would someone keep doing this? I mean, I have a job, a family, I'm already active in church outside youth group. Why put up with one more thing?

Well, that's one I've answered so many times. It's because of my relationships with each of the youth group members. If I could afford it, I'd quit my job, assign my other volunteer duties to others and dedicate my life to youth ministry. I don't know that it's where I'd be the rest of my life, but I truly love the relationships I have with the youth and their parents. I mean, some of these parents go so far out of their way to help, offering to drive to bowling from 11pm - 2am, staying over night, other volunteers staying from 6pm Friday to 6pm Saturday, giving one-on-one time to youth, helping lead, and enjoying their company (yeah Katie, you know who you are, if you ever read this, I can't express enough how much I appreciate your help).

Then there are the 6 - 12 graders who will give weeks of their summer vacation for a mission trip. Or every Sunday night, even though they have homework, to hang out together and talk about God. Or they just get with someone they know a little, find a common bond, and begin planning activities together like laser tag.

Okay, this has gone far longer and more off track than I'd ever planned. May need some trimming later. But the short thought is this. Even if 90% of the youth from youth group fall away from faith, there's still 10% who stick with it. And of those 90%, I still believe most will come back to faith later in life, because of the unconditional love they have experienced in each of their youth leaders. So, I'll do this for as long as God wants me, because 30 years from now one person may say "I remember Tom Leary, he was with me when I learned what it meant to experience God's love".

As for the Logan's waiter, he has an open invitation to come to Mama Mia with us. I only hope he calls, so we can share God's goodness together.

No JoA tonight, this was too long already.

Peace

posted by Tom at 10:41 PM