Mississippi Memories

If you remember yesterday I’d be surprised (I know my memory doesn’t go back that far), heh, heh. Anyway, yesterday I was talking about Amber and her Christmas party. About how she’s going to feel uncomfortable around all these strange people.

We were talking about how quickly she started talking to us in Mississippi. She paid me (at least I assume it was me, she didn’t actually use my name) another of those great compliments that always make me smile. She said:

“someone talked to me and showed an interest in me... and Rob was joking with me too... it made me comfortable”

It felt good knowing that we made someone comfortable in a very uncomfortable situation.

I kind of wondered why more people aren’t interested in others. Or, if we’re interested, why don’t we actually express that interest?

I mean, when I’m in a room full of people I know and I see someone new I like to go up to that person and say hello, hopefully get to know them. If nothing else I want to try and make them feel welcome.

I won’t say I’m always like this. There are a lot of times when I’m happy to cling to the people I know and just talk to them. Even today at our work Christmas lunch I spent a lot of time with Erin and my friends Scott and Janet. Far more time then I spent with people I didn’t know.

In one way I did this because I didn’t feel like it was my job to meet the people I didn’t know. It’s just easier to think it’s someone else’s job to meet new people and make them feel welcome. I also assumed that the other people there had their own group of friends and I wouldn’t be able to jump into the group.

In the end I did meet most of the people there. I certainly could have done a better job, but just didn’t feel like it. Those that I didn’t meet still certainly had their own group of friends so I didn’t feel all that bad.

So it got me to wondering... What would it take for all of us to welcome strangers, even when we’re the stranger?

In Mississippi the very first night people were welcoming us in. I remember passing a group of 6 people playing cards by a fire. They offered a hot dog and asked if we wanted to play with them. Honestly, that took me all off guard. It felt weird compared to DC where a stranger won’t even look at you, much less invite you to something. If they’re inviting you to something the person generally isn’t to be trusted.

After even half a day in Mississippi I started going up to strangers and welcoming them. Heck, Thursday night after our Thanksgiving dinner I went from table to table offering them some apple pie. A completely crazy thing since everyone had already had dinner and desert. But it got me to talk to people at some different tables, which was nice.

I don’t have a ton of thought on this, besides some of what I’ve already said. Feeling comfortable makes it easier to welcome others in. But what about when you’re the one who doesn’t know anyone? Or what if no one knows anyone? Or, especially, what if you’re in a group of people you know and see someone you don’t?

Will you be the one to step out and introduce yourself? Ask that person’s story? Show an interest in the person and make jokes with them? If not, why?

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

posted by Tom at 10:17 PM