Decisiveness

We’re considered to be in a Postmodern Era. I’ve found a lot of different definitions for this age. It covers anything from individual opinions to the age after classical art has ended.

What is agreed on about Postmodernism is in how we act with one-another.

Today people are encouraged to accept everyone around them, regardless of their faults. We all have our own opinions on a given topic. I’m entitled to my opinion and you’re entitled to yours. I accept you for who you are, and I understand where you’re coming from in your opinion.

I think this acceptance of one-another is great in some ways. I also think this brings about some deep problems in our lives and with us as a society.

How many times have you seen some rule come up that just seems like common sense? How often have you been told that you can’t do something for one person since you’d have to do the same thing for everyone else?

Often in talking to someone they will say something I disagree with, and I’ll just respond that I understand where they are coming from. I don’t disagree openly with the person, even though I really do think they are wrong. We’re too worried about offending someone to let them know what we really think and feel.

I think this does hurt our own ability to be open with others. We lose to chance to be ourselves and talk about our feelings and beliefs even with friends.

When Erin’s parents are over, especially her mom, I tend to avoid talking about church as much as possible. This is something which takes up easily 25% of my week (probably more if I thought about it). I shy away from talking about it since I really think it may offend her. We just try so hard to avoid offending someone today, because we equate offending someone with not accepting them for who they are.

Think about the last time you went to dinner with someone, or a group of people. How long did it take you to decide where to go? Have you ever said the line “I don’t know, where do you want to go?” We go to dinner every Friday and Saturday night with Erin’s parents, and every time at least 10 to 15 minutes goes into the “what are you in the mood for? I don’t know, what are you in the mood for?” conversation. After that we name say, five different restaurants, and start the conversation all over, narrowed down to our five choices. It’s not always that bad… But it does happen a lot.

I think we do this because we are too worried about offending the person we’re talking to. We don’t want to specify a place because we’re worried that decision will not be some place the other person likes, and so we create a rift between us.

Instead of making a decision, we stick with indecisiveness.

Instead of offending someone, we never let ourselves be honest.

Sometime in high school I realized why I should be decisive, and I made decisions left and right. I would always suggest one place, if someone didn’t like it they could suggest another. After their suggestion I’d accept it and we’d move on. Sometime after high school I lost that.

I still offend people because of my openness and, honestly, my bluntness. At the same time I worry a lot about whether I’m offending someone. I try to make everyone happy, which of course is impossible.

Now is the time for me to reclaim that decisiveness. Get opinions and propose a solution. Let someone disagree with the solution, but at least there is one out there.

In this world there really is a right and a wrong. There really is a man called Jesus who loves us and forgives us from our sins. He’ll still ask us to do things we don’t want to do. He’s accepted that if that request causes a rift between us, He still loves me and is waiting for me to realize that there really isn’t a “rift” other than what I created.

It’s time to tell people what we think. There’s no other way that we’ll really move forward in this world.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

posted by Tom at 9:40 PM