Withdrawal

Do you ever just miss something so much it starts to affect how you act? I can only assume this is something like withdrawal symptoms which people go through when giving up smoking or drinking or something. Every time I go a week or more without writing I begin giving the world a slightly dimmer view. Over time I really start getting a bit dull and have a harder time seeing some of the greatness of the world.

For those who don't know, I was deathly ill for the last week and a half. I mean deathly, I was knocking on death's door and asking (no, I was begging) for admission. I was looking for any sort of reprieve from the constant cold shivers that were so bad I couldn't hold a cup or the awful hot sweating. Though really the worst was the sore throat which wouldn't let me eat or drink anything (I lost 3 more pounds in a week). I couldn't sleep, eat, move, anything... I don't know if I'd ever been that sick for that long.

As with anything, if you didn't live it you don't really understand. My poor wife had to put up with so much from me.

At one point I seriously considered asking her to get the blanket for me and put it on the bed. Now, mind you, the blanket was on the floor, beside the bed I was laying in. It's also important to know my wife was downstairs in the family room, 1/2 a house away. But man did I come close to picking up the phone and using the intercom to get her. I think the only thing that stopped me was knowing she wouldn't actually come up and do it. Well, I'd have had to sound really, really pathetic anyway, and I would have felt guilty afterwards... I did eventually end up going through the life and death struggle of getting out of bed, picking up the blanket, and snuggling back in my cocoon.

Over the week I obviously hadn't written anything. There was that one post with Rachel's picture (she really is the cutest baby ever), but that was about it (besides writing for Rob which didn't come out as well as I'd hoped).

I had all these thoughts running through my head but no outlet for them. Trust me, thoughts in my head just run around in circles until they either get tired and give up, or I tell them to someone who looks at me like I'm an idiot. Without writing I'm just a bottle of mashed up thoughts that make no sense and probably are the reason I have had such strange dreams lately... Well, or it could have been the feverish stupor I was in that caused those extra strange ones.

All this is to say that I'm going nowhere fast. I'm finally back at work, and my throat is finally not hurting as much. I'm also wondering if my friends from Pennsylvania will be coming down or canceling out (depending on the time of day it's a different answer... gotta love people).

Right now you've already figured it out. You've wasted a good bit of time reading a pointless post. All I am saying is that I've missed writing, even if no one is reading. I'm glad to be back on the horse and feeding my addiction.

Peace,
+Tom

posted by Tom at 3:30 PM