Blogging Friendships

There are some people in life you just really like. At church there are a couple individuals and families who I really look up to and respect. I just look at these people and kind of think to myself, “they’ve kind of got it together”. Never mind that I’m probably wrong. Whenever I get to know someone I find out they really don’t have it all together. That doesn’t seem to stop me from thinking that these people have wonderful lives, lives I sometimes wish I could have.

One of the families in the church who I definitely think this of is Matt and Jessica DiBeneditto. Now, if they’re reading this I’m sure they’d be kind of surprised. These two just seem to be living a great life together.

I’d consider Matt something of a friend. While we don’t talk a lot, I do have an idea about his life. I enjoy the times we do have together and am just in awe at how creative he is.

Then there’s Jessica, with whom I share a really odd relationship (at least in my opinion). I’ve probably said more to Jessica’s sister, Sarah, than I’ve ever said to Jessica. When we do talk there are pleasantries and then we talk about music or the sound board for church.

Despite this lack of actually communicating with each-other (talking, e-mailing or IMing), I definitely know the most about Jessica. That’s completely due to blogs. She has a really interesting way of talking about her day or life and keeping it interesting (most days anyway, some strike me as so-so… but is it ever possible to make me happy 100% of the time? I’m way too fickle :) ).

I could actually say the same thing about Sheri. While I’m closer to Jessica (mainly because I see her each week and I went to her wedding and all) I’ve been reading Sheri’s blog every time she writes, and have really enjoyed it. Getting to hear about what a moron her husband can be, and to just hear about how life may not be perfect but it’s the life we’re given and there is a lot to be thankful for. I definitely know more about hunting and really do feel for Sheri and her family.

I need to add in my usual disclaimer since my blog is linked from a church site. While Sheri is really interesting and makes me laugh out loud sometimes, she also does use some language – part of what makes me laugh actually – so just be prepared.

Last night I was thinking about Jessica and Sheri. I was just thinking about how different our lives are today. How we can know so much about someone without every really talking to them. Sure, in the past you could get this through letters. I remember one of my favorite relationships with Kelly. Throughout a summer we’d write each-other letters or dictate stuff into small tapes and send them to each-other. I was a part of her life even though I wasn’t with her.

Blogging takes this to a whole different level though. At least with Kelly I knew her ahead of time. With blogging the whole world can just become a part of your life without actually being a part of it.

Take Sheri for example. I’ve commented on her blog maybe twice. She’s commented on my blog about the same amount. But we live completely separate lives and barely think of each-other when not reading a posting.

Kelly’s probably an even better example. I read her blog (as sparse as it is) and know what is going on in her life from her Web site, but she definitely doesn’t know anything about me. She doesn’t read my blog (so far as I can tell) or even know I’ve looked her up on MySpace.

I’m still trying to figure out if this is all a good or a bad thing. The ability to see someone every week, to know about their lives, but to not talk about it together.

What about the false sense of connection that comes from reading a blog? I get to read about Kelly’s life, which kind of makes it feel like I’m a part of that life. At the same time we have no connection beyond our past (and I’m not sure I want that to change). It almost feels like I’m spying into their lives without actually making a connection or giving anything of myself. Is that really fair?

All this is to say that I love blogging. I love the idea that someone can find out about my life and live it with me, even if I don’t know who they are. The fact that I’ve had over 2,000 hits on my blog (many returning visitors) shows that there are a lot of people reading my blog whom I don’t know. I find that kind of cool. I just sometimes wonder if there’s a way to go another step, and grow a relationship that is less one-way.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

posted by Tom at 9:27 AM