Poor Self-Image

I read a whole bunch of blogs. Thank goodness there's intraVnews to deliver all of my blogs into different Outlook folders within the hour they were written. I feel so "on top of it all" since I get to be the first one to comment on blog entries. Boy, I'm just so cool huh? Well, maybe not... But I still do love having blog entries delivered directly into Outlook and if you're willing to part with $20 I'd strongly recommend at least trying out intraVnews. Actually, just looking at their site it's now free for personal and non-profit use (I'm glad my $20 could help make that possible for you).

That entire paragraph is a lead-in to a new blog I've recently subscribed to called Monday Morning Insight. Do I make any lead-in simple?

Today they posted an entry titled Do you Struggle With A Poor Self-Image? While I'm new to this blog I was immediately taken in. I read a bit in the morning before heading into work, considered what I'd read the whole way in and read the rest before lunch. Some things really stick with me and this one has just kept rattling around in my head.

Leading youth at church I get to see a lot of people struggle with a poor self-image. That also holds true when I look at my co-workers and family as well. It just seems that a lot of us struggle feeling like we aren't good enough, or trying to prove ourselves.

Todd mentions the outward appearances of self-image as (This is a religious mailing focusing on pastors and priests, so be ready for some churchy stuff):

The question is-what are the characteristics of a positive self-image? A person with a positive view of himself is aware of his strengths and weaknesses, is open and honest, can say "I love you" without hesitation, can voice his opinion without fear of criticism or retaliation. Most importantly, though, he accepts himself-scars, blemishes, and all-because God first accepted him. (1 John 4:19)
On the other hand, someone with a negative self-image doesn't trust himself or others, questions his ability, suffers from a "persecution complex" (i.e., "Everyone is out to get me!"), is scared to open up, always wears a "mask"-so as not to let others in on his flaws-and usually feels as though God determines his worth by how much good he accomplishes, resulting in a "workaholic" mentality.

Reading this really got me thinking about my personal image and my "fear" which I discussed earlier in Living Your Dream. I do accept my own scars, blemishes, strengths and weaknesses. But I also push myself so hard to get past them. I strive to be the absolute best at whatever I am working on. I've met some great youth leaders in Loudoun County, and now that we have a national search I'm meeting even more. At the same time I'm still pushing myself to have a youth program that's even better than what anyone else has to offer.

I keep pushing myself to try and make something a success which I don't even necessarily care for. I love the youth and our youth group with all of my heart. I never thought I could feel so committed to a cause, but it's really paved the path God has working for me. At the same time I feel a bit helpless when it comes to our weekly "big" meetings. Times where we should be able to bring in hundreds of youth and make them feel at home. All I can feel is dread that something will go wrong, people will be unhappy or we'll drive someone away.

Reading this article helped a bit, though I do need to continue praying on it and letting it soak in. I hear very little criticism from parents or parishioners at St. Matthew's. That's incredibly great news. The criticism I do hear is always very helpful. In the end I probably push myself even harder because of this. I find flaws where no one else may have seen them. I tend to become my own critic. It really helped me to read this:

Our unwillingness to accept criticism also hinders our ability to move toward a positive self-image. A man with a godly view of himself decides whose approval he wants-God's or the world's. From there he chooses to live for the Lord and the issue is settled. As long as we live, there will always be someone who criticizes us. We simply cannot be everything to everybody. (1 Corinthians 9:22)

I really, really, really need to remember that I can't be everything to everybody. I can't be the person who spends two hours extra with some youth driving around so we can have a little more time away from the responsibilities of the world, and the same person who focuses on growing leaders. Plan Wednesday bible study while also planning the next great "graphic" for our upcoming sermon series (truly, if you have any artistic talent let me know, we need some graphical talent desperately).

I need to realize that I should be looking for God's approval and not that of the world. The world is falling apart everywhere. It's also growing healthier and getting a stronger spiritual connection everywhere. In short, this world is going on its course regardless of my own actions. So I need to stop living for the world and start living for god. I need to do what he wants me to do in this corner of the world (and Internet) and let some of the detrimental personal connections go.

I guess my only question for you is where you fall on this. I know there are a ton of people out there with a wonderful self-image. How do you work through the hard things that come our way?

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

posted by Tom at 7:51 PM