The Craziness of Friendship

Here's how crazy my friend Amber is. We were talking last night about the Chronicles of Narnia coming out next Thursday at midnight. Being myself I, of course, asked if she was free to come down and watch it with us at the midnight showing.

Now, any sane human being would laugh and say you're nuts. Apparently not Amber, she was willing to let me come up there and bring her and her boyfriend back for the movie, then bring them back home afterward (a 5 hour drive each way).

That, of course, is nuts, I'd be sleeping through the last 10 hours. But then she offered to meet half way, so I'd have less driving to do. That's almost crazy enough to work (and trust me, I keep thinking about it, but I think my level-headedness might win out).

What amazed me though is just what lengths friends will go for one another. This is someone I saw only a week ago, and only for a few days. Now she's trying to work out ways that we can all get together and hang out, even if for a few hours in the middle of the week.

I've mentioned it before. One of the things that was made clear to me last week was how friendships change as we get older. It's very hard to create close friendships and keep them strong.

When I look at church it can be hard to make close friendships. While holding a role as a youth leader I'm have to make sure that what I say and do with friends at church is appropriate. That's not to say it's ok to be inappropriate, but it can be relaxing to not have to worry about what you're saying or doing all the time.

The same is true with work (probably more so). I work at a pretty professional company. I wear a shirt and tie every day, and I'm more casual than most. Anyone who knows me can barely picture it. I have to watch every e-mail, IM and verbal discussion to make sure it is formal and appropriate. Making sure it is clear and work related when needed, or sufficiently vague when we're not ready to commit. The most interesting work conversations I have are generally about vacations and kids.

But friendships outside areas of leadership are so much more free. I have four great friends, two from high school and two from college. Unfortunately none of them have IM and we just don’t get together as often as we should. I think we may e-mail once a week to once a month depending on the person.

Then there are friendships like those I'm forming with Amber, Dave and Abby. People who I talk to almost daily (if only for a few minutes) to see how life is going. People who I'd gladly drive 10 hours to see for only a short time.

I won't say we can talk about anything, we've only met recently. But I do feel like I'm making friends which will stick with me for long time. Friends who I can share some incredibly crazy moments and even some conversations which may not be appropriate for everyone. People who really just build you up, letting each-another know how much they are missed and how much we all mean to one another.

I just love hearing great things from them. I can't tell you how happy and excited I am that Amber's boyfriend will be back closer to her (she promised I could take a number so I can talk to her at least once next semester). Or how proud I was to hear Dave takes part in a worship band at his church and is probably more faithful than I am. Or how much it hurt to hear about some hard things Abby needs to go through when getting out of school.

I love these guys and the lengths they are willing to go to just meet. I can only hope and pray that we can keep this going. But whatever it turns into God has shown me one thing I needed to learn. That I need these friendships outside marriage, church and work. I just need people to talk to sometimes who are living life completely different from mine.

Right now I need people like Amber, Dave and Abby to show me what I've been missing.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

posted by Tom at 4:21 PM