Viewings

When I say viewings, I don’t mean viewings like when people get in a circle and contact ghosts. I’m talking those far more sad and moving times when you get to say one final goodbye to those you love.

Today was Marcus Gopal’s viewing. I can’t tell you how immensely sad and confusing this is. I’ve been to viewings and funerals in the past, all for direct family members. While they’ve all affected me, they were all for people who were much older than I was, people in their 90’s.

Attending a viewing for a 20 month-old is completely different. It’s also different because you have more tons and tons of pictures and even video of 2 year olds. There were two large boards of pictures as well as almost every surface had some picture of Marcus with a bright smile. Then there was a 12 minute video of Marcus during different times of his life. All of that came together to really remind me what we'd all be missing in the future.

I was especially moved when I saw four of the doctors from Rachel’s pediatrician’s (Marcus went to the same practice). I just appreciate them so much in what they’ve done for Rachel that I’m glad to know they really will be with us through whatever troubles we face.

Marcus’ mom made an observation that she can only pray that they will find some reason in what’s happened. I definitely understand where she’s coming from. It is so hard to find any reason in why this happened.

I consider myself a pretty spiritual person. I feel like I’ve really been listening to God, and He’s been making a lot of things pretty clear to me. But I just can’t find any reason in this.

I do know this wasn’t something God did. I even understand and believe that God is deeply hurt by this death as he is when everyone He loves passes away. God is also excited at welcoming Marcus up to be with Him.

For us left behind it’s hard to see any purpose. How can we grow from something so sad. What possible personal growth can we gain that is more important than having Marcus with us?

How does a priest explain this? Maybe being a priest doesn’t mean that you have all of the answers. I know as a programmer I don’t have all the answers about programming. Heck, I know as a youth minister I sure don’t know everything about youth ministry, or even teenagers. There are things in this life no one can ever explain. That can just be so upsetting at times like this.

If I’d ask you to do anything just do what I’ve been doing all week. Looking at those around you and really appreciate them. Every time I hold Rachel my heart melts at the things we’ll get to do as she grows up, and at the memories of fun times we’ve had. Let’s just appreciate one-another anew.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

posted by Tom at 8:25 PM