Monday, February 27, 2006

Abby

Over this weekend I’ve realized how incredibly blessed I am for the people in my life. I have a lot of people around me who I really just respect and in many cases look up to.

They sure aren’t perfect… I mean, today I was convinced to make our church hate me by receiving a cell call in the middle of the sermon (it was all a joke, I think everyone got over it and it made a good point). But each person brings something I can really admire.

This past weekend Abby, a good friend of mine, came to visit from Pennsylvania. I suckered her into coming by offering to pay for her gas and entry to go line dancing (both of which I still got her to pay for (goes to show you shouldn’t trust me I guess :) ).

We had a crazy busy time going to movies with friends from church and birthday dinner with my family. In it all we also had some good conversations. We’ve talked every few days over IM, but I’d only met her in Mississippi last November so it was a weird long-distance friendship.

While we were line dancing at Nick’s, and on the way home we just got to talk a lot. I learned more about the person she is in that one evening that I’d learned in 3 months of chatting. What I found really impressed me.

Abby is 9 years younger than I am and has a firmer grasp on her life than I think I have now. Again, she’s still kind of messed up in some ways, and has some healing to go through. At the same time I was completely impressed with how confident she is in herself, her realistic outlook on relationships and her ability to be so honest she’ll openly disagree with someone no matter who is around. She exudes peacefulness to those around her, even if she may not be feeling so peaceful inside.

On the way home from dancing we got to talking about her past dating relationships. I was struck by how few people she’s dated (and how short the relationships were), because she’s unwilling to put up with someone who isn’t looking for the same thing she is. She’s also unwilling to compromise her morals in even little ways. I can’t tell you how many times in college I compromised my morals thinking it would help my relationship and help me change the person.

I can look at her and see someone who is so sure about what she wants that she’s at peace with it all. Even when things don’t go as she wants them to, she still has a positive outlook on it all. I just can’t tell you how good that feels. She’s definitely one of those people who you’ll tell your life story to before you realize you’ve opened your mouth.

Now, as I said before, Abby has some incredibly serious problems that we may never overcome. She loves peanut butter… she loves bread… and she won’t even try sushi. As you can tell, she has some real problems that I may never cure her of (she seemed pretty adamant that peanut butter was good and couldn’t understand when I explained how gross it is). At the same time she was willing to try eating snails at my birthday dinner. Anyone who is willing to try something that different will always get my respect (realizing the rest of Erin’s family wouldn’t touch them and, sadly, even Rachel wouldn’t eat her bite).

As Abby headed on home I couldn’t help but feel a bit emptier for her leaving. I still miss seeing that person who is comfortable watching the world and sitting in silence with a friend. Someone who can talk to a person and know almost immediately whether they will work well together.

I hope you have people like this in your life. Friends you can admire and love for who they are. People you can look at and wish to emulate. It also got me wondering whether I have any traits people want to admire. I’m sure that I do, just as I’m sure you have traits others would want to mimic. I guess it’s time we look to those around us and begin emulating what they do well. Maybe it’s also time to let those around us know what it is about them that we find makes them special.

So long as Abby reads this I’m set for telling at least one person.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Abby

Over this weekend I’ve realized how incredibly blessed I am for the people in my life. I have a lot of people around me who I really just respect and in many cases look up to.

They sure aren’t perfect… I mean, today I was convinced to make our church hate me by receiving a cell call in the middle of the sermon (it was all a joke, I think everyone got over it and it made a good point). But each person brings something I can really admire.

This past weekend Abby, a good friend of mine, came to visit from Pennsylvania. I suckered her into coming by offering to pay for her gas and entry to go line dancing (both of which I still got her to pay for (goes to show you shouldn’t trust me I guess :) ).

We had a crazy busy time going to movies with friends from church and birthday dinner with my family. In it all we also had some good conversations. We’ve talked every few days over IM, but I’d only met her in Mississippi last November so it was a weird long-distance friendship.

While we were line dancing at Nick’s, and on the way home we just got to talk a lot. I learned more about the person she is in that one evening that I’d learned in 3 months of chatting. What I found really impressed me.

Abby is 9 years younger than I am and has a firmer grasp on her life than I think I have now. Again, she’s still kind of messed up in some ways, and has some healing to go through. At the same time I was completely impressed with how confident she is in herself, her realistic outlook on relationships and her ability to be so honest she’ll openly disagree with someone no matter who is around. She exudes peacefulness to those around her, even if she may not be feeling so peaceful inside.

On the way home from dancing we got to talking about her past dating relationships. I was struck by how few people she’s dated (and how short the relationships were), because she’s unwilling to put up with someone who isn’t looking for the same thing she is. She’s also unwilling to compromise her morals in even little ways. I can’t tell you how many times in college I compromised my morals thinking it would help my relationship and help me change the person.

I can look at her and see someone who is so sure about what she wants that she’s at peace with it all. Even when things don’t go as she wants them to, she still has a positive outlook on it all. I just can’t tell you how good that feels. She’s definitely one of those people who you’ll tell your life story to before you realize you’ve opened your mouth.

Now, as I said before, Abby has some incredibly serious problems that we may never overcome. She loves peanut butter… she loves bread… and she won’t even try sushi. As you can tell, she has some real problems that I may never cure her of (she seemed pretty adamant that peanut butter was good and couldn’t understand when I explained how gross it is). At the same time she was willing to try eating snails at my birthday dinner. Anyone who is willing to try something that different will always get my respect (realizing the rest of Erin’s family wouldn’t touch them and, sadly, even Rachel wouldn’t eat her bite).

As Abby headed on home I couldn’t help but feel a bit emptier for her leaving. I still miss seeing that person who is comfortable watching the world and sitting in silence with a friend. Someone who can talk to a person and know almost immediately whether they will work well together.

I hope you have people like this in your life. Friends you can admire and love for who they are. People you can look at and wish to emulate. It also got me wondering whether I have any traits people want to admire. I’m sure that I do, just as I’m sure you have traits others would want to mimic. I guess it’s time we look to those around us and begin emulating what they do well. Maybe it’s also time to let those around us know what it is about them that we find makes them special.

So long as Abby reads this I’m set for telling at least one person.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Do You Care?

While I'm a Web developer by trade and a Youth Minister by volunteer I am also finding out that I like to learn about a ton of different things. I like to move my energies around to wherever they best fit (or sometimes don't fit). Right now those energies have really been driven to marketing. I've been reading a couple different blogs and just trying to get ideas on how to spread God's message around the church.

One thing I read recently was about this college student who is an Atheist. He set-up an auction on E-Bay stating that for every $10 bit he will go to church for a week. The person who puts in the bid can determine what church he attends.

Well, the highest bid was for $500 and he’s now touring churches in the Chicago area. He’s blogging about each church with a TON of detail. I tell you, if you’re a church in Chicago get him to come, you’ll find out what you are doing well and what you’re doing wrong. Though I see him as a bit bitter and see some deep issues in there, you’ll at least get an idea on how some unchurched people see your church.

If your curious his blog at Hemants Blog Entries.

What strikes me about this is the Off The Map organization that is paying him. For a measly $500 they are getting a ton of publicity, both for their own purpose and a lot of publicity about God. I still don’t really know the purpose for Off The Map, but I am impressed that they’ll make the commitment that one life brought to Christ is worth at least $500.

And now they’re out there. This guy is telling others, even other atheists that he knows, about the “experiment” and his experiences. He’s spreading the message all over the place in a way that just grabs attention.

I also just came across Jeff Clark’s (can you believe I remembered his name without looking) “Resume” linked from another site. This is a new college grad that’s looking for a marketing position. I have to tell you, he’s taken one weekend of his time to make something completely different. Every resume should be like this.

It stands out, it’s memorable, and it’s high energy and is interesting to read. I got to thinking about church, but it’s also true in life. When we go looking for volunteers to help out, why do we write one paragraph and post it in a bulletin? Why is it a small ad in the newspaper?

When we do something and really care about it, why can’t we take one weekend (or even a couple of hours) to show that we care? If I’m looking for a volunteer to help lead youth group I should sure be willing to spend 4 hours making a captivating site which explains what we need and why someone would want to do it!

Why don’t we make time and put forth the energy to really “market” what we’re looking for? I just loved reading through Jeff’s site, even though I’m on no need or hiring a marketer. But there are some incredible ideas there which I think we can learn from.

Ok, this will certainly not impact many of the people who read my blog. So, if you’ve gotten this far and you’re looking for something deep, here you go.

If you care about it, give it your time. If you think you gave it just the right amount of time, you’re wrong. Rachel could take 100% of my time and she’d still want more (and I’d still want to give her more). If you are looking for a job and you think your Resume is good, you’re wrong, give it the time to make it different. If you think dinner once a week with your spouse is good and you’re comfortable, get uncomfortable and go out to the salon or hunting, or gaming with them.

If you happen to be at our church and in need of a volunteer I can guarantee you haven’t given the search enough of your time. I know, I live there too. Right now we need to begin making purposeful “ads” for our volunteers. Let them know they are loved and appreciated.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Physics

Okay, I was never great at Physics. I wasn't bad, I got an A in college I think, but that was just because I thought it was fun. Hey, my screen name and blog URL state quite clearly that I am a "Big Nerd". But while I understood the math there's just something deeper that I had a hard time getting my mind around.

Potential and Kinetic Energy? Easy. Every morning Rachel has a ton of potential energy, when the day is over she used a ton of kinetic energy and needs to collapse in bed by 7.

Sound bends, light always goes in a straight line. Easy too. I can hear Erin yell at me from all over the house. Thankfully I can't see the angry look on her face at the same time.

Okay, was there anything else to physics? Oh yeah, gravity. It's always the same number (1.8 I think?) and essentially pushes on us. It's the reason I'm so short... Dumb gravity.

I'm sure there was more, but the only other thing I remember was the cute girl I sat next to and talked to my second semester of physics. Oh, and that we watched some movie. But I got an A, so do I really care?

Except that times like last night keep me in awe of this world around us. The amazing things that are possible with light.

Last night I took a picture of the Prayer Book (a book we use in church so everyone knows what to say and when.., though at our service we project everything on the wall since we're lazy... er, technically savvy I mean). I’m no great photographer, but I’ve heard you can do some cool stuff with aperture. Aperture is how open a lens is… Oh, still to technical. Here, do this.

Squint really tight. Can you read what I’m writing? Only if you look directly at it. Can you read the paragraph above? Nope, it’s blurry (or you stopped squinting… if you stopped, SQUINT I tell you). Aperture makes the camera squint, but without eyebrows to get in the way.

So I decided to play with aperture last night at the dinner table. And within about 1 minute I had 10 pictures. The best one is on the right.

I’m just amazed at the things I can’t understand. The fact that the middle is clear and the rest is blurry… that’s something I don’t quite get. I mean, how is it possible? Light goes in a straight line, but it’s always sharp. What makes it blurry? When I squint why isn’t the middle sharp and the rest just black (since I made my aperture – Word of the day – smaller, the outside of the aperture should be black, right)?

Anyway, here’s what we ended up doing with the picture. I kind of like it, without being too boastful. I love most that it only took about 30 minutes to complete. Without the miracle of aperture and that crazy blurriness it would have taken me forever to get Photoshop to do it (forever = 20 minutes or so).

So, my thoughts of the day? Appreciate what we can’t understand and enjoy being able to look at things differently. Oh yeah… and the word of the day??? Aperture.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Inspiration

While I’ve been having an insanely busy and event-ridden week, I haven’t seemed to have the inspiration to write. I have a million and one ideas, and all of them seem like junk. I’m not exactly sure what’s going on, but if you do read my mind ramblings please bear with me.

That kind of leads into why it is that I even write this blog. I started writing here because other people were doing it and I figured I’d give it a try. There were some of the youth from youth group who I figured might want to read what I’m thinking about. But when Rob jumped on I sure couldn’t let him be more technologically involved in something than I was. I had no idea where it was going but I found a great peace in writing and thinking others might find it helpful. I’ve been thinking a bit more lately and have gotten a better idea of what I hope this blog is.

I have a million and one focuses in my life. Underlying everything I do (and if I really admit it, everything I’ve always done) is to help people become something more than they are. I want people to do bigger and better things than they are doing right now. Heck, I even want each of us to become something more than they could ever be by ourselves.

I want each one of us to find someone who will stand with us and help us create miracles right here in this world. Find those people who build us up to realize that we are better than what the world “says” we are. That you, right now, can be helping to heal this world.

So I write to give hope. To give you a glimpse of my life and the amazing things that happen to me all the time. I also write to help open our eyes to things which can be improved or ways to live.

No serious facts, though I love to research (mainly for things I’ll buy, as I’ve said before, I’m super cheap). No real insights you couldn’t figure out on your own. Just the realization that I know you can do anything you want when you set your mind to it… That you can be better than you are today… That you do want to do everything you can to make this world a place you love to live in.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Monday, February 06, 2006

Sunday mornings

I love Sunday mornings at church.

I’m not referring to the usual reasons, the God and the priest reasons (though those are more valuable than I can say). No, I love Sunday mornings at church because of the people and the community we share.

Heck, as I write this I’m sitting in church listening to Rob’s sermon (don’t tell Rob, he’ll be too busy this week to red my blog, but thankfully I can read and listen to it again on our Web site). I’m actually using Rachel’s Color Wonder markers to write on its special paper… Markers sure are difficult to write legibly with.

We are blessed to be able to attend a church with a real focus on families. Right now Rob’s wife Linda saw that Rachel was getting antsy and needed some entertainment, so she picked Rachel up, grabbed a pen and paper, and they both just lit up as they drew a little.

A little bit later Rachel wanted to see someone else so we handed her over the pew to another family. There she proceeded to yank on both sides of a pen, pulling it apart with the spring flying in the air (man it was hard not to laugh, and some people around me did chuckle).

After church one parent came up and said that some week we need to line everyone up and see if we can pass Rachel across the pews to the back of the church (and maybe back to the front again on the other side) during a sermon. I don’t know how much Rob would appreciate it, but it would be funny.

Where else does stuff like that happen? At Don Pablos (a Tex-Mex restaurant) Saturday night Rachel kept standing up in the booth and staring at the family behind us. I just felt a bit guilty and did get one or two irritated glances. When I’m walking around the grocery store and Rachel decides she’s had enough and begins getting fussy, people just try to avoid me.

For us church is often the comfortable pair of slippers that fit just right (even if the edges are a bit frayed). We go into church with Rachel, but once it’s over she disappears as she gets passed around from person to person. I usually catch up with her about 10 minutes later. I love that I can trust the people and a place so completely.

I know I’ve said things like this before. So I won’t go too much into it. Sometimes I just have to share how much I think of the people at church. Rob is an incredibly lucky man to have a wife that will enjoy those parental roots and play with a child while listening to the sermon. I just love this place. I’m not necessarily trying to push church on people, but if you’re not feeling that community in your church, maybe it’s time to meet people and create it.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Friday, February 03, 2006

Getting Old

I have this very strange suspicion that I'm getting old. Now, I don't say that because my 31st birthday is at the end of the month. While I still feel young and full of energy, I'm getting the impression that my body is beginning to disagree a little.

After painting our upstairs hallway (I promised my wife last month that if she tells me a color I'll get the room painted) my left knee had a bit of a dull throb and was hard to walk on the next day. Thankfully some Aleve alleviated (heh heh) the problem a bit, but it remained until two days later. Then it as gone and forgotten.... Until today.

I have some suspicions that its arthritis related (crazy genes I've inherited) and maybe sometime I'll ask the doctor about it. Today it just came out of nowhere (though it was raining, and I heard that can make it flare up). I was hobbling on and off all day and tonight my right knee started bugging me.

Like I said... I think I may be getting a little old.

I guess I’ll just have to remember that I have an awesome life, and will continue to live it like a crazy college student. Or, a crazy college student with a wife, daughter, no classes and an active church life anyway.

If I have any message it’s just this. You’re only as old as you feel… After taking a little Aleve.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Rachel's First Kiss

We just left Rachel’s daycare where she gets to spend most of her days. I’m beginning to think home schooling is the new solution for us. I’ll stay home and keep my daughter locked up in the basement. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

We got into the classroom and Rachel ran up shouting “daddy” and getting a big throw-in-the-air-hug. This is one of the best moments of my day. Rachel completely passes my wife if she’s in the middle and grabs on to me. Like many things, if you don’t have a child you can’t appreciate how amazing that feels.

So I put her down so that she could get her jacket. This was my first mistake.

She ran over to her coat and another boy in daycare, Nicholas (or as I now call him Nicho-Suave) came up to give her a hug. She was intent on her coat, but I wanted her to be friendly, so I encouraged her to give him a hug. This was my second mistake, and probably the bigger of the two.

What does my daughter do? She turns around and gives Nicholas a big hug. Of course, when you hug someone, what do you do with your face? If you think you put it beside the other person’s and rest against their cheek or chin, you’d apparently be wrong. No, Mister Nicholas decided that turning your head is for weirdo’s and face on kissed Rachel. And she LET him!

Heck, he must have some sort of charm, they stayed kissed for a couple seconds, and when they pulled away Nicho-Suave’s snot was on Rachel’s upper lip… not that she cared. Thankfully the teacher distracted them enough that they didn’t do it again. But I’ll be watching mister and miss kissy-lips more closely from now on.

What lesson can we learn from this? Never trust your kids for a second, even when they are right in front of you!

In all seriousness though, it was one of the cutest things I’ve seen. They were just so adorable and innocent about it all. And, so far as I know, that was Rachel’s first real kiss with a boy. I love kids.

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

Sale Perspectives

I kind of like Target. I don’t know that I necessarily love it, but I definitely prefer it to Wal-Mart on any day. But then Wal-Mart is always a bit more disorganized and just feels grimier. Heck, at Starbucks last week one of the youth told me that every time they go into Wal-Mart they want to buy some cleaning stuff and clean the place for them.

Our family tends to do some of our general shopping at Target, things like diapers or other baby stuff. This past week we got a coupon book from them for things we actually use. It was with these coupons that we found ourselves in Target this past Sunday.

I needed some mouthwash so we trooped down the aisle and I grabbed the Listerine. Being the frugal (read cheap) person I am, I was excited to see that it was on sale, 2 for $11 (or $5.50 each). Got me wondering what the regular price is, so I pulled up the tag and saw how much I was saving. Usually it’s $5.39. Yep, I was saving a great -11 cents. Man was I lucky, with this sale I got to pay more for the mouthwash than if I bought it any other normal week.

While I always love a good sale (I recently bought a $250 suit for $80, woo hoo), I sometimes wonder what sort of deal we’re really getting. I’m going to assume it was an oversight at Target, but how many other times does it happen? Buy 3 whiz-bang thing-a-ma-jigs for $3 when the price is usually $1.05. We’re talking 15 cents. And you only need to buy one for the sale, but we still pick up 3 whiz-bang thing-a-ma-jigs.

Heck, I looked at the Target brand mouthwash and it was $4 cheaper than Listerine. Yeah, do the math, it was about $1.60 compared with $5.50. I think I can ignore the ad just this one time and be fine.

So, what did I do? I Bought the Target brand and a Listerine in case I didn’t like Target of course. Hey, I had a coupon. Besides, didn’t you read earlier that I’m a moron?

No deep thoughts here really. All I can say is that you should keep alert. Look around and make sure that “deal” is really worth it, or might you be charged more? Do you really need whatever you’re buying? Even if you need it, can you compromise and get the cheaper store brand?

Peace,
+Tom/Bob

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